


Skimming the Surface

by mycroftpoppins



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Broadway, Famous Harry, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, NYC, Wicked - Freeform, and guest appearances by 500000 other people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 16:27:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 52,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13528113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mycroftpoppins/pseuds/mycroftpoppins
Summary: With Wicked sales waning, Simon decides it's time to break out the big guns in the form of pop star Harry Styles in the role of Fiyero.Enter Niall as Boq, who's been in love with Harry since he was 16... and who may or may not have a cardboard cutout of him in his dressing room.The further Niall falls, the faster his past threatens to catch up with him and soon, Niall has to choose between facing his fears head-on or losing Harry forever.





	Skimming the Surface

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously there are spoilers if you've never seen Wicked.
> 
> Huge huge huge huge HUGE thanks to my beautiful beta [sakabelle](archiveofourown.org/users/sakabelle) who is pretty much the whole reason I finished this fic. She never let me get discouraged and always let me bounce ideas off of her... and saved me from an awful ao3 reformatting disaster. You're the best, girl! Love you!!!!

Niall’s life changes with five little words.

“So… I have an audition.”

Niall looks up in the mirror to find Michael leaning in his doorway, scrubbing the back of his neck nervously. Niall is never quite sure how Michael is always ready to go before him. Fiyero’s makeup is much more complicated than Boq’s.

“Go on…” Niall prompts before returning his attention to scrubbing silver paint out of his nose.

“I’ve been talking to Calum and… Rum Tum Tugger’s leaving in a couple weeks. Calum… uh… pulled a few strings and they want to see me. Tomorrow morning.”

Niall turns away from the mirror to grin at Michael. “That’s great, Mikey.”

“Yeah?” Michael finally meets his gaze, his smile timid.

“Course! It’s what you’ve been waiting for, isn’t it?”

It’s true. Rum Tum Tugger is a smaller role than Fiyero, but Michael has always been about experience over spotlight and he’s had his eye on the role since before Niall had even met him. It’s perfect for him, fun and flashy and sassy.

Michael beams, adjusting the strap of his backpack. “Yeah… I’m really excited. I mean… I never thought it would open so soon, ya know?”

“It’s a sign from the universe, mate. You’re gonna ace the audition.”

Michael chuckles. “Calum said there’s a pretty long list of auditions. Don’t want to get my hopes up too much just yet.” He shrugs a little. “You ready to go?”

Niall glances back in the mirror one last time, making sure there’s no stray paint left. “Yup.” He grabs his own backpack from the vanity before shoving his pageboy cap down over his hair. He’d grown fond of the look during his run in Newsies and the show has a lot of good memories attached to it. It’s where he’d gotten his start alongside Louis and Liam.

The boys head down the hall to the stage door. It’s rare that either skip out on this part of the show. They know how much it means to the fans. Today, there are about 20 or so still waiting, a sign that the girls haven’t left yet. Most people wait just for them, though Michael always has his fair share of admirers as dashing Fiyero. Boq isn’t really a big draw.

Niall slides his sharpie out of his pocket and uncaps it, signing each playbill thrust out at him. A few people pay him compliments and he thanks them, even though they probably have no idea which character he’d even played. He takes a couple selfies and when he’s done, he leans against the wall and waits for Michael to join him.

His phone lights up with a text from Louis as he pulls it out of his pocket. He thumbs in the password and chuckles when he reads the text.

_Hurry up, peasants !_

Saying that the role of King George III is going to Louis’s head would be an understatement. He lives and breathes the role. He’d even managed to nick the crown from set once and wear it for an entire night on the town. Niall’s still not sure how he pulled that off. It’s not a small prop.

 _Mikey’s still signing. Be there soon._ He sends back.

Louis and Liam generally beat them to the bar. It’s closer to the Richard Rodger’s Theatre and Ambassador Theatre than it is to the Gershwin.

 _No excuses !!!_ He gets in response.

Niall chuckles, shaking his head. He looks up as Michael approaches, positively glowing from the attention. Niall hadn’t missed him flirting with a couple of the overly eager fangirls.

“Louis’s getting impatient,” Niall says, as they set off.

“Louis is always impatient.”

\----

Louis and Liam have managed to commandeer one of the giant sofas tonight. Niall’s pleased to see that Liam has brought Perrie and Lauren along.

“Finally!” Louis bursts out when he catches sight of the boys approaching.

Niall rolls his eyes as he drops his bag and plops down beside Perrie, kissing her cheek. “How you doin, Pez?”

“Alright, you?” She says, returning the kiss.

"Well, thanks.”

“Is anyone going to ask how I’m doing?” Louis grumbles.

Michael arches an eyebrow as he takes the unfortunate open position beside Louis.

"How are you doing?” Michael asks, which Niall thinks is probably a mistake.

“Don’t pay attention to him,” Liam says. “He’s sulking because Eleanor’s got a boyfriend.”

“Who’s Eleanor?” Lauren asks.

“We don’t know she has a boyfriend!” Louis protests.

Liam huffs out a long suffering sigh. “Eleanor is one of the costumers for Hamilton. Louis is in love with her and refuses to tell her… and now she’s got a boyfriend.”

“She does not have a boyfriend!” Louis bellows, causing more than a few sets of eyes to turn their way.

Niall waits for the attention to leave them before looking between Liam and Louis. “Then what’s the problem?”

“She was sucking face with Hamilton himself at the party last night.” Liam says solemnly.

“Eleanor snogged Lin-Manuel Miranda?!” Michael stares at Louis, wide-eyed. “You don’t have a chance in hell, mate.” He says, clapping him on the shoulder.

Louis swats his hand, none too gently. “No, you twat. Diego.”

Michael scowls and rubs his hand.

Perrie swoons. “Oh Diego is so dreamy.”

“Not helping!” Louis protests.

Niall snorts. Louis is so dramatic. He’s pretty sure Broadway was made for people like Louis Tomlinson.

“On that note, I need a beer if I’m gonna be dealing with Tommo’s lamenting for the rest of the night,” Niall says, standing. “Anyone want anything?”

“I’ll come with you,” Michael says, scowling at Louis again as he stands.

The rest of the night passes much more smoothly once they appease Louis with more drinks. By the end, he’s convinced that he’ll ask Eleanor on a date before tomorrow’s show. Niall’s not so sure he’ll have the same courage once the drink wears off, but stranger things have happened.

\-----

A few days later, Niall receives a text from Michael -- a string of cat emojis and more exclamation points than he’s ever seen in one text.

 _You got it?_ He texts back

_YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

Niall feels his heart sink just the slightest. He’s happy for Michael, obviously, but he can feel a touch of loneliness creeping up on him. He and Michael had clicked and been inseparable from Niall’s first day. He hadn’t really thought to make other friends in the cast outside of him. Still, he doesn’t want to rain on Michael’s parade. He deserves this happiness.

_Congrats, mate. First round’s on me tonight._

 

It’s another week before Simon calls the inevitable cast meeting.

Niall plops down on the edge of the stage beside Michael, swinging his legs. Most of the rest of the cast is milling about. The stage is already set up for the show tonight, curtain pulled down to display a giant map of Oz with the Emerald City glowing green in the middle.

It’s not often Simon calls a meeting before a show. Everyone’s in costume, though Demi is the only one who has gotten started with makeup. It takes a while to turn her green every night. Niall tries not to laugh. She looks a bit silly at the moment, her face the only thing not yet done.

A hush falls over the room as Simon enters. He stands in the middle of the stage, waiting for all eyes to fall on him.

“As you all know, tickets aren’t selling like they used to,” he begins, getting straight to business. “First, Hamilton took Broadway by storm and now that Harry Potter thing is about to open… It’s not a musical, but it’s got all the draw of Harry Potter behind it and it’s not looking good for us.”

Niall chews on his lip, glancing around as people murmur to each other. It’s not like they haven’t been selling out shows, but if a few here or there make it to the tkts booth, well… no one likes to talk about it.

“This brings me to my next announcement…” Simon continues, the room falling silent again. “Michael will be departing in less than a month for a role in… Cats.” He scrunches his nose and Niall has to muffle a snort in his hand, glancing over at Michael who smirks in response.

“We have just concluded auditions for a new Fiyero,” Simon says. “And I am pleased to announce that Harry Styles will be taking over the role in his place.”

Niall’s brain short circuits. He blinks at Michael, wide-eyed. Michael snickers.

“ _The_ Harry Styles?” Taylor, resident Glinda both on and off the stage, bursts out.

“Yes, Miss Swift, the Harry Styles. He is currently signed on for an eight week limited run with the door open for additional dates if all parties are agreeable.”

Murmurs run through the room. Niall is still trying to process it. Harry Styles. _The_ Harry Styles. Niall’s only had a crush on him since the dawn of time. He’s the single hottest pop star and human being in all the world and Niall is going to be sharing the stage with him.

Michael snickers again at the look Niall must have on his face. “Not so sad I’m leaving now, are you?”

Niall snaps out of his daze enough to punch him in the shoulder. “Piss off.”

All that does is make Michael fall over in a fit of laughter.

\-----

“Bloody hell!” Louis falls over on the couch, laughing hysterically.

Eleanor watches him fondly. He had, in fact, kept his vow to ask her on a date and the two had been joined at the hip since.

“It’s not that funny,” Niall grumbles. This is exactly why he hadn’t wanted to tell Louis yet, but Michael hadn’t been able to resist.

“Yes it is!” Louis declares, sitting up again. “You’re gonna have a boner every night. I feel bad for the front row. They didn’t know they’d be getting Wicked 3D!”

Niall rolls his eyes. “It’s theater. It’s always 3D.”

“I should tell my understudy to be on standby.” Louis continues, unfazed. “Wouldn’t want to miss your grand debut!”

“Geez, Lou, didn’t know you were so obsessed with my cock,” Niall says.

“Don’t worry, Nialler. Louis is just jealous because even if he got a boner on stage, the front row would still need binoculars to see it.” Michael says, clapping Niall on the shoulder. Now, he decides to be loyal, Niall thinks.

“Actually…” Eleanor starts with a smirk.

“And that is more than enough talk about my best friends’ boners for one night!” Liam finally chimes in. He turns to Niall. “I’m happy for you, mate. I think it’s a wild opportunity to share the stage with your favorite singer.”

Niall huffs out a laugh. “If I don’t completely humiliate myself in the process.”

“You’ll be fine,” Liam assures him.

“Thanks, Li.”

\-----

Niall enters the Gershwin the following day to find Taylor practically hyperventilating in the hallway. Demi is rubbing her back in soothing circles.

He approaches cautiously, not wanting to startle Taylor.

“Everything alright?” He asks.

“Harry Styles asked to see me!” Taylor says, fanning herself as she blinks up at Niall with wide blue eyes. “Harry Styles wants to see _me_!”

Niall’s brow furrows and he looks to Demi for further explanation.

Demi rolls her eyes a bit. “Harry asked to meet _us_ ,” she says, smirking as she emphasizes the word, “Before the rest of the cast. He wants to get an idea of our chemistry or some bullshit. I don’t know. But what pop star wants, pop star gets.”

“What am I gonna wear?!” Taylor says, looking to Demi, panicked.

“Taylor, you’re lovely no matter what you wear,” Niall says honestly, laying a hand on her shoulder.

Taylor looks to him again. “But he’s _Harry Styles_!”

Niall pats her shoulder. “If he doesn’t like you for who you are, then he’s nobody.”

Taylor seems to think it over for a moment. Niall catches Demi’s eyes again and the other girl bites her lip, clearly holding in a laugh. Niall’s starting to think he might be able to make a new friend in the cast after all.

Taylor finally comes to a conclusion, drawing herself up to her full height. “You’re right… but it’s best to dress to impress,” she says, marching off to go start prepping for tonight’s show.

Demi finally breaks into giggles and Niall laughs along with her.

“So, Harry’s already making demands, eh?” He says, leaning against the wall next to her.

Demi shrugs. “Not really demands. Just a request. I get it. It’s weird rehearsing with the understudies first. I know what it’s like. He just wants to get an idea of who he’s gonna be working with.”

Niall nods. “Makes sense.” He scrubs a hand through his hair.

“Well…” Demi says, glancing at the time on her phone. “That breakdown took a bit longer than I was expecting. I gotta run. Time to get painted!”

Niall laughs. “See ya later, then!”

“See ya!” Demi smiles and heads off to her dressing room.

Niall turns and heads to his. He pauses in the doorway when he’s greeted with the sight of his cardboard cutout of Harry Styles. It had been a gag gift from Louis and Liam on his first night as Boq. They call it his good luck charm. He wonders if he should get rid of it before Harry arrives, but really, he’s not important enough for Harry to ever visit his dressing room.

\-----

The main cast has two rehearsals scheduled with Harry before his big debut. Niall is both relieved and terrified. On the one hand, at least his first performance with Harry won’t be in front of an audience. If his nerves get the better of him, there will be far less witnesses. On the other hand, it’ll be a far more intimate setting and Harry will be much more attuned to his fellow actors. If Niall completely loses his mind, it will be painfully obvious. Niall does his best not to think about it, but time seems determined to speed up until the Friday rehearsal.

Niall wakes up that morning and stares at the wall, in a bit of a daze. In a couple short hours, he will be in the same room as Harry Fucking Styles. He will be sharing a stage with Harry Fucking Styles. It’s not that he has a crush on him, per se, but he’s also not blind. Harry Styles is gorgeous and he’s got talent to match.

Sixteen-year-old Niall had been mesmerized by sixteen-year-old Harry from the moment he’d taken the stage for his X Factor audition. He’d loyally voted for Harry every week and was disheartened when Harry made it to the finals, only to place third. Then, Harry had shot back into the spotlight with his first single and Niall quietly bought each of his CDs and saved up his money to attend his Dublin show on each tour. He’s just thanking his lucky stars right now that he’d never sprung for a meet and greet. He can’t imagine the awkwardness if Harry somehow remembered him.

He finally pulls himself out of bed with enough time to get dressed, scarf down a couple of poptarts, and head out.

 

When he arrives at the theater, he’s still a bit early, which is fine by him. He still needs to get his head on straight.

He takes his time changing into his costume for the opening number, hearing the telltale signs of life as the rest of the cast starts arriving. He finds himself wondering if Harry has arrived yet, if he’s mingling with everyone else.

There’s a knock at the door and he startles a bit. He goes to open the door, afraid for a brief moment that it might actually be Harry. His eyes dart to the cardboard cutout before he realizes he’s being ridiculous and he opens the door.

Lou is on the other side, smiling at him. “Hello, love. Ready for makeup?”

Niall snaps out of his daze and steps back to let her in. “Yeah,” he manages, shutting the door behind her.

“You alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Lou says, already laying things out on the vanity.

Niall takes his seat. “I’m fine. Just a bit nervous, is all.”

“Because of Harry?” She asks, leaning in to start on his makeup.

Niall shuts his eyes. “Yeah,” he admits.

“Don’t be. He’s very laid back. Nice lad.”

“You’ve met him?”

“Just finished his makeup before I came in here.”

Niall could swear his heart rate picks up. Harry Styles is in the room right next door.

“You sure you’re alright?” Lou asks.

“Yeah. Fine.”

“You know this show backwards and forwards. Remember, he’s in your territory now. He’s just as nervous as you are, if not more so. He’s never done theater before.”

“He’s still Harry Styles, world famous pop star.”

“And you’re Niall Horan, poised to take Broadway by storm.”

Niall laughs at that. “If you say so.”

“I do.” He feels the makeup brush boop his nose and he laughs again before Lou says, “Finished!”

  
He opens his eyes and grins at her. “Thanks, Lou. You’re the best.”

“I know!” She grins at him and winks before zipping up her bag and leaving the room.

Niall takes a long look at himself in the mirror. Well, he thinks, at least if he fucks up the first song, Harry won’t be able to identify him in this costume.

He hears the call for curtain and heads out.

His eyes pick out Harry in the crowd. He’s currently disguised like most of the rest of the cast. They hide the main cast in the opening number to fill out the crowd of Oz citizens. Harry looks like he’s struggling to figure out how to carry himself in the oversized costume. He stumbles a bit and Niall can’t help but laugh softly.

Harry whips around at the sound and their eyes lock. For a moment, Niall is frozen in panic, afraid he’s insulted him, but Harry’s lips quirk up in a grin and he motions to the large fake belly he’s wearing and shrugs.

Niall motions to his own and Harry laughs. There’s a brief spell when they’re just grinning at each other before there’s suddenly a flurry of activity and they’re scurrying out on stage with everyone else.

The opening number goes off without a hitch. He passes Harry on stage a couple times and does his best to ignore the way his stomach flips every time it happens. He puts himself on autopilot and gets through the song before running backstage for his quick transformation into Boq.

What he’s not expecting and really probably should have thought of, is the lead up to Dancing Through Life.

Niall holds his breath as he finds his spot between Taylor and Harry. He’s practically shoulder to shoulder with Harry, imagines he can feel the warmth radiating off of his body. And then Harry’s arm is around him, hand squeezing his shoulder, pulling Niall flush against him. Time stops as Harry sings and Niall huddles into himself, allowing Harry to manhandle him as Niall tries to remind himself that he is a professional actor. Before he can bat an eye, his notebook is out of his grasp and Harry’s stepping away from him again, tossing the notebook for Niall to chase offstage. He uses the minutes he has until he has to be back on stage to breathe before he’s running back out again. If he glances at Harry far too much, then at least it manifests itself as Boq’s jealousy of Fiyero. He composes himself as he shoves between Harry and Taylor and then he’s wheeling Selena offstage and prepping for his next entrance.

When he enters the scene again, he’s struck dumb by the sight of Harry in Fiyero’s red suit. He suddenly feels ridiculous and out of place in his gold and green ensemble, which is silly because it’s just a costume. It’s Boq, not Niall, after all. He nearly misses his cue. He shakes himself out of it and is once again grateful that any excess staring can be construed as jealousy. He’s really going to have to work on it before the actual performance.

Niall throws himself into the rest of the show and is at least grateful for how little he and Harry share the stage once school is over for the characters.

When rehearsal ends, he quickly retreats to his dressing room. As he’s packing up, there’s a knock at his door and he calls out “Come in!” without turning around.

The door opens and then he hears that voice.

“Sorry… I… uhm… didn’t catch your name earlier,” Harry says.

Niall spins around, blinking at Harry, a bit startled. He finds himself trying to process that Harry is actually standing there, in his dressing room.

“Sorry…” Harry apologizes, probably at the look of bewilderment on Niall’s face. “Am I bothering you?” He looks down, shuffling his feet.

“No,” Niall says, a tad too quickly. “S’fine. I’m Niall.”

Harry looks up again, smiling softly. He steps forward and holds out his hand. Niall takes it, trying to think of anything but how soft and warm and big Harry’s hand is in his own as he shakes it.

“‘m Harry,” Harry says, an ironic tilt to his smile. “But you probably already knew that.”

Niall laughs, “I did, yeah.”

Their hands drop and Harry runs his hand through his hair. Harry seems nervous, though Niall’s not entirely sure why. He’s the gorgeous pop star. Niall’s just… Niall.

“So you really are Irish then?”

At that, Niall’s brow furrows. “Yeah…”

“Cool. I wasn’t sure if it was an artistic choice or…”

Niall chuckles. “No. S’all me.”

“Cool…” Harry says again. “It’ll be nice to have a bit of home here. I mean… you’re not English, but we can’t all be perfect.”

That startles a true laugh out of Niall, which causes Harry’s face to light up with a grin wide enough to make his cheeks dimple. Niall ignores how much he wants to run his finger over his cheek and trace the dimple.

“What brings you to this side of the pond? Why not the West End?”

Niall shrugs. “I wanted to be where everything happens… where everything starts. The West End can get some decent stuff, yeah, but everything starts here. Course, I wasn’t taking into consideration the millions of other people with the same idea.”

It’s Harry’s turn to shrug. “If I’d taken that into consideration, I never would have auditioned for X Factor.” He pauses, seeming to consider his next words. “You’re really good, you know.”

Niall can feel his cheeks heating up with his blush. “Thanks,” he mumbles. “You’re not half bad yourself,” he adds, trying to take attention away from himself.

At Harry’s guffaw, Niall looks up, his own grin widening when he sees how brightly Harry’s eyes are shining.

For a moment, they just stand there, grinning at each other, before Niall finally shakes himself out of it.

“Well… I better run. I still gotta shower and grab something to eat before tonight,” he says, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

“Yeah… of course.” Niall doesn’t want to let himself believe that Harry seems almost disappointed.

“I’ll see you Monday though, yeah?”

Harry grins again. “I’ll be here.”

Niall can’t help but return the grin. “Great!”

Harry nods a little before turning to head from the room. A final thought seems to strike him and he turns back around, “Nice cutout, by the way,” he says with a smirk.

It takes Niall a moment to realize what he’s talking about, but when he does, he knows his cheeks must be bright red. “It was a gift,” he mumbles.

Harry chuckles softly and finally leaves the room.

Niall can already tell the next eight weeks are going to be the longest weeks of his life.

\-----

Sunday night is Michael’s final performance. Niall can tell he’s trying not to let how much it’s affecting him show. No matter how exciting it is to move on to new shows and new opportunities, it’s still hard to leave a show you have fond memories of.

They’re having a party for him later at Niall’s place. Most of the Wicked cast will be there and Michael’s invited a few people from Cats. Louis and Liam should be bringing people from Hamilton and Chicago, so Niall’s hoping it’ll be a real Broadway sendoff/good luck party for Michael.

At final curtain, they allow Niall to present Michael with a bouquet of roses and he hugs his friend before they all take their final bows arm-in-arm.

Michael takes a bit longer than usual with the crowd at stage door and Niall lets him, knowing he needs it. He stands off to the side, playing on his phone and keeping guard of Michael’s roses until he’s finally ready to go.

When they reach Niall’s, the party is already in full swing.

“There’s the man of the hour!” Louis shouts when they open the door.

A cheer goes up and Niall laughs, clapping Michael on the shoulder. “The night is young,” he says with a nod. “Let’s get smashed.”

Michael laughs and the pair head into the kitchen, fixing drinks for themselves before heading out to mingle again.

Michael’s face lights up suddenly and he turns to Niall. “Calum and some of the others are here. Come meet them?”

Niall grins. “Of course.”

Michael leads the way to a small group chatting off to the side.

“So, I hear you’re the ones stealing Mikey from us,” Niall say once they’re close enough to the group.

Whatever conversation they’re having pauses.

A tan lad with fluffy black hair speaks up as he wraps his arm around Michael’s shoulders.

“Fraid so, mate,” he declares. “As of this moment, he is officially ours now.”

Michael grins at him before turning to Niall.

“Nialler, this is the magical Mister Mistoffelees himself, Mr. Calum Hood.”

Calum seems to preen at the introduction, reaching to shake Niall’s hand.

“Pleasure,” he says.

“Likewise,” Niall says.

Michael motions to a boy that reminds Niall just the tiniest bit of Harry next, alongside a pretty brunette with wide eyes.

“Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, also known as Ashton and Jade,” Michael says.

Niall shakes their hands in turn. “Nice to meet you,” he says.

“And last, but not least, there’s no one like Macavity… Luke!” Michael says, motioning to a tall scruffy-faced boy.

Niall laughs softly. “Pleasure,” he says, shaking Luke’s hand.

“Likewise,” Luke says.

“We were just discussing who would be which Avenger,” Calum says.

“Arguing over it, more like,” Ashton says.

“Calum is under the mistaken impression that he’d make a better Iron Man than me,” Luke says.

“I’m prettier than you,” Calum replies.

Jade shrugs. “I’m the prettiest and I call Scarlet Witch. Solved.”

Niall laughs, deciding he approves of the new crew Michael has found for himself. They fail to decide on Avengers identities and when the debate turns to Disney Princesses, somehow they find that even more difficult.

Niall eventually excuses himself to refill his drink and perhaps head off to find Louis and Liam since he hasn’t seen them since he and Michael arrived.

He’s just pouring the whiskey when someone speaks up behind him.

“Great party…”

Niall jumps, hand going to his chest. A bit of whiskey sloshes onto the counter.

“Jesus! You have got to stop sneaking up on me like that,” Niall says, turning to face Harry.

“Not Jesus, just Harry,” Harry says, smirking slightly. “It’d be a bit more frightening if Jesus walked into your kitchen.”

“Considering he’s a two thousand year old dead man, yeah I’d say so,” Niall says. His brow furrows. “What are you doing here?”

“Taylor invited me. Was that… not ok?” Harry asks, starting to look like a kicked puppy.

“It’s fine,” Niall says. “I just… wasn’t expecting you, is all. I would have…” _crawled into a hole and died._ “Cleaned up a bit.”

“Hidden the rest of your cardboard cutouts?” Harry says, another smirk playing at his lips.

Niall blushes. “I only have one. It was just a stupid gift.”

The kicked puppy look is back. “So you’re not a fan then?”

Niall blinks at him for a moment, then scrubs his hand over his face to compose himself. Christ, what is it with this kid?

“I didn’t say that,” Niall says with a sigh. “I just meant… a couple of my mates thought it would be funny to give it to me on my first night as Boq.” Harry still looks wary, so Niall continues, not sure why he’s laying himself out there for him so much. “They found out I was a fan. They just wanted to give me a hard time. They call it my ‘good luck charm’.”

Harry’s smile is cautious. “Has it been lucky?”

Niall can tell Harry’s going for teasing. He breathes out a laugh. “Considering you’re currently standing in my kitchen, I’d say that’s pretty lucky, yeah.” He realizes he’s said too much and immediately clams up, but Harry’s smile in response is almost blinding.

“So…” Harry starts, but he doesn’t get to finish because another voice breaks in.

“NIALL! Just the man we’ve been looking for!” Louis shouts, voice forever two decibels louder than the average human. Liam is following behind him and the two look downright mischievous which does not bode well for Niall.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us to your new friend?” Louis continues, his smile smug.

Niall sighs. “Harry, these are my best mates, Louis and Liam,” he says, motioning to them. “And you wankers already know who Harry is.”

“Nice to meet you guys,” Harry says, holding out his hand to them in turn.

“Oh the pleasure’s all ours,” Liam says as he shakes Harry’s hand. “We hope young Niall here is being a proper good host.”

Niall groans. “I am literally two weeks younger than you, Liam.”

Louis walks over to Niall and throws his arm around his shoulders. “Young Niall is a mighty big fan of yours, Harry.” Niall can feel his blush starting to creep over his face, his cheeks horribly warm.

“Got a cardboard cutout in his dressing room and everything,” Liam adds.

“I’ve seen it,” Harry says, his eyes finding Niall’s, smile amused. Crawling into a hole and dying is sounding better and better to Niall.

“We gave it to him!” Louis declares proudly. “On account of how much he…” Niall doesn’t care to know how Louis intends to finish that sentence. He clamps a hand over his mouth. With Louis, it is not possible for that sentence to have a good ending.

“And that is enough from my friends for one night,” Niall says. He groans when Louis licks his hand and pulls it away. “There is something really wrong with you, Lou.”

“Thank you!” Louis declares proudly. “Now, as I was saying…”

“Louis, I suggest you shut your mouth before I tell Eleanor exactly how long you fussed and moaned about her before you finally got up the courage to ask her out,” Niall interjects.

“Nice to meet you, Harry!” Louis says, darting from the kitchen and dragging Liam with him.

Harry chuckles softly as they leave. Niall distracts himself by finally wiping up the whiskey he spilled when Harry came in and pouring himself a fresh drink.

“They seem nice,” Harry says.

“That’s because you’re not friends with them,” Niall grumbles.

“How’d you meet them?” Harry asks.

Niall turns to look at Harry again. “We started out in Newsies together. Been close ever since.”

“Are they still on Broadway?”

“Liam’s currently Billy in Chicago and Louis is King George in Hamilton.”

Harry snorts. “Fitting.”

Niall smirks. “Don’t let him hear you say that. I don’t think he’s ever going to leave that role.”

“NIALL!” Michael shouts before entering the kitchen. “Come tell the others why I’m clearly Iron Man.”

Niall arches an eyebrow at Harry, who is biting his lip to hold back a giggle, before he turns to his friend. “Really? You guys are arguing over the Avengers again?”

“There’s more people now. Louis, Liam, Perrie, Lauren, Eleanor…” he starts listing off.

Niall snorts. “Why am I supposed to take your side?”

“Because it’s my party!” Michael pouts. “I get to be Iron Man.”

Niall chuckles. “Can’t argue with that logic. Alright, let’s go…” He looks to Harry again. “I’ll catch you later, yeah?”

“Alright…” Harry seems disappointed but Niall doesn’t dare let himself believe it.

Instead, he just nods and follows Michael out of the kitchen to see if they can finally decide on their Avengers team. He’s not sure why it matters, but he wouldn’t really trade his friends or their weird conversations for anything.

\-----

When Niall arrives at the theater the following afternoon, his cardboard cutout Harry is standing in the middle of the room, now adorned with a sharpie mustache. He’s about to get angry, wondering who could have done it, when he realizes that it’s signed along the line of the suit jacket.

_Fixed it for you. xoxo Harry_

Niall blinks at the autograph. Harry bothered to come into his dressing room to vandalize his cutout. He is honestly at a loss as to why Harry keeps actively seeking him out. Maybe, he thinks, it’s because they’re the only guys their age in the main cast and Harry just wants a friend. That’s what he chooses to tell himself.

Niall had mentally prepared himself over the weekend for sharing a stage with Harry, so he does far better at not tensing up and not staring, though he’s still got a ways to go before he’s totally normal. At the end, he packs up and makes a choice, seeking Harry out. It takes everything he has to make himself knock at the door instead of turning and fleeing.

“Come in!” Harry calls out.

Niall enters the room timidly. Harry’s shirtless, leaning to look in the mirror on the vanity while he scrubs the makeup off his face. He’s wearing skinny jeans, low on his hips, his arse small and round and perky and for a moment, Niall is struck a bit dumb. His brain erases anything he’d been intending to say.

Harry arches an eyebrow at him in the mirror. “Yes?” he prompts.

Niall blushes, quickly composing himself. “I… uh… found your graffiti.”

Harry smirks. “Like it?”

“You should probably ask before you vandalize someone’s property,” Niall finds himself teasing.

“It wasn’t vandalism,” Harry says with a pout. “It was art.”

Niall laughs softly. “The mustache is crooked.”

“Art,” Harry insists.

Niall just shakes his head. He catches Harry’s eyes in the mirror and they share a smile before Harry focuses on removing his makeup again.

Niall scrubs a hand over the back of his neck. “So… uhm… tomorrow’s your big night then,” he says, not really sure why he’s so desperate to keep the conversation going.

“Mmhmm.” Harry finishes wiping off his face and grabs a plain white v-neck from the vanity, pulling it on over his head before turning to face Niall.

“You nervous?” Niall asks.

Harry seems to think about it for a moment. “It seems like a lot to remember. The lyrics are easy. I mean… I’m a singer. It’s what I do. It’s the choreography I’m worried about.”

Niall waves a hand dismissively. “Missing a step isn’t nearly as noticeable as missing a line. You’ll be fine.”

“How was your first night on Broadway?”

“In Newsies?” At Harry’s nod, Niall shrugs. “I’d already done some things off Broadway so I knew what to expect. And the lads were great. Louis had already been part of the show for about a month. Liam and I started on the same day. I had a lot of support. Didn’t really think about it, ya know?”

Harry bites his lip, still appearing nervous, so Niall continues.

“Listen, you’re Harry Styles. You could probably go out there singing Christmas carols off-key instead of Wicked songs and they’d still love you. You’ve got nothing to worry about. Promise.”

At that, Harry laughs. “That might be a bit of an exaggeration.”

Niall chuckles. “Not so sure, mate. Simon says all shows are sold out for the next eight weeks and beyond. People are literally buying tickets hoping that you’ll extend your run. It’s a madhouse.”

Harry shakes his head. “That’s crazy.”

Niall shrugs. “What can I say? You’re popular.”

Harry looks at him for a moment. “Thanks,” he finally says. “I needed this.”

“Anytime,” Niall says. He thinks over his next words before speaking. “Listen… the boys and I… we go out for drinks a few times a week. I’m sure we’ll go out tomorrow since it’s Michael’s first night in Cats. You’re welcome to join us… if you wanna take the edge off after the show.”

Harry grins. “I’d like that.”

“Great! I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“See ya,” Harry replies, smile soft and genuine.

Niall feels his heart flutter in his chest. If he didn’t know better, he’d think he and Harry might actually be on their way to becoming friends.

\------    

The following night, Niall arrives at the theater with enough time to sneak into Harry’s room before Harry arrives. He’d gotten markers to write on Harry’s mirror, so he writes in big, crooked letters: _Good luck, Harry!!!_

Below it, he tapes a photo of Harry with a sharpie mustache and the words _Good Luck Charm_ scrawled across the bottom. He hopes it gives Harry a laugh and loosens him up a bit.

Later, as Niall’s getting ready in his room, he hears a loud bark of a laugh from the room next door. He grins to himself and a few minutes later, his phone pings with a notification. He may or may not have it set up with notifications for Harry’s tweets.

He opens the tweet and finds a photo of his artwork in black and white, captioned simply with a Santa emoji that makes Niall cackle.

Niall doesn’t get a chance to see Harry before the show. On stage, he does his best not to pay more attention to him than absolutely necessary. If his heart stops beating for the brief moment Harry holds him at the beginning of Dancing Through Life, then so be it.

At curtain call, Niall takes his bow with Selena and when Harry comes prancing out and the crowd goes wild, well Niall can’t help it if he cheers right along with them.

Harry takes a very flamboyant bow before practically skipping over to his place beside Niall. He’s glowing as he beams at Niall.

“You were great,” Niall mouths.

Harry blushes, his smile turning shy.

When they clasp hands to join Taylor and Demi for the final bow, Niall can’t focus on anything but the warmth of Harry’s palm against his own.

As soon as they’re backstage, Harry scoops Niall into a crushing hug.

“Thank you for your note,” he murmurs. “I needed that.”

Niall breathes out a laugh as he returns the hug, trying to ignore the way his heart seems determined to break out of his chest.

“Glad you liked it.”

It’s another moment before Harry finally releases him.

“Did you... uh… still want to go out with the lads tonight?” Niall asks.

Harry grins. “Yeah. Of course.”

“Cool… so… I’ll meet you outside?”

“Sounds good,” Harry says before scampering off to get changed.

Niall goes to his own room and changes quickly before heading out. He’s not sure what he was expecting at the stage door tonight, but the sight he’s greeted with is not it.

He hears the screams first, then registers the sea of girls waiting outside, security guards stationed at various intervals to keep everyone in check. His eyes widen and for a moment, he just blinks, scarcely able to believe it.

He finally steps forward, signing the first playbill thrust out at him.

“You were wonderful, Niall!” The girl says enthusiastically, surprising Niall. People rarely know his name. This is a whole new audience.

“Thanks,” he says.

“You’re such a cute Boq!” Her friend says. “Can we get a picture with you?”

“Sure… yeah…” Niall turns and smiles brightly at the phone one of the girls holds out.

“Thank you!” The first girl says once the photo is taken.

Niall gives a small nod and moves on. Some people pull their playbills away. They only want Harry’s autograph, which is fine by him. He has a few more interactions similar to the one with the first girls and by the end, he’s actually a bit worn out. He finds a doorway to tuck himself into while he waits for Harry.

He hears cheers every once in a while, signaling the arrival of other cast members and then… then it becomes absolutely deafening and he knows who must have emerged.

Niall peeks around the corner, watching Harry smile and wave before he starts signing playbills. The amazing thing is, he doesn’t lose the smile. He chats with fans, does his best not to miss a single playbill, and must take dozens upon dozens of photos. It takes him almost twenty minutes to get through the line.

Niall steps out from the doorway only once Harry draws near. He notices security trailing after Harry and his brow furrows.

“Don’t worry,” Harry says. “He won’t stick around at the bar.”

Niall laughs. “Good to know.”

The pair set off down the sidewalk, towards the bar. Niall finally speaks after a moment.

“It’s really great… what you did for the fans. You didn’t have to stick around as long as you did.”

Harry shrugs. “Least I can do when they come out to support me like this.”

“You know, you’re not how I thought you’d be,” Niall admits.

“How’d you think I’d be?” Harry looks over at him, brow furrowed.

“I don’t know…” Niall waves a hand in the air, trying to come up with words. “Different. Louder. Wilder. A bit more… popstar-y, I guess.” He looks over and notices Harry’s frowning at the ground now. “It’s not bad, that you’re different,” he hurries to add. “I like you… like this and I’m really looking forward to getting to work with you for the next eight weeks.”

Harry looks at him again, seeming to think. “I’m looking forward to working with you as well,” he finally says.

 

When they reach the bar, Louis makes a big show of looking at his watch.

“And what sort of time do you call this?” he asks.

“Bigger crowd than normal tonight,” Niall says. He looks to Michael, pleased to see that Calum and Jade had decided to join him tonight. “Mikey!” he says, embracing his friend. “How’d it go?”

“Fucking amazing!” Michael says. “How bout you, Harry?”

Harry grins. “Pretty good, I think.”

Niall laughs. “He was bloody brilliant, don’t let him fool you.”

He could swear Harry blushes deeply, but it’s hard to tell in the dimly lit bar.

“Nahhhhhh,” Harry says.

“‘S true,” Niall says, clapping him on the shoulder. “Alright, your first round is on me and, Michael, I’ve got your next round.”

“What about me?” Louis protests.

“You didn’t start a new show tonight.”

“No, but I was fucking amazing.” Louis grins broadly.

Niall laughs and flicks him off.

He finally gets Michael’s and Harry’s drink selections and leaves to purchase them. When he returns, everyone has shifted over to give Harry space on the end of the sofa. Niall hands Michael his drink first and turns to hand Harry his. Harry takes it and scoots closer to Perrie, looking up at Niall expectantly.

Niall takes the seat beside him, ignoring the way their legs brush together briefly as Niall gets settled. He makes sure to take up as little space as possible on the couch so that he’s not touching Harry. He notices Harry’s frown and it startles him, but he doesn’t get a chance to ask about it because Liam starts talking.

“So, Harry… enjoying Broadway so far?” He asks.

Harry blinks, frown slipping easily into a smile. “Yeah. Love it. It’s great fun.”

“Is it different from performing for a concert?” Jade asks.

Harry breathes out a laugh. “Very. There’s a lot more to remember… like not tripping over my own feet when I’m dancing.” Everyone laughs.

“Think you’ll ever do another show?” Perrie asks.

Harry shrugs. “If my schedule allows it, maybe yeah.”

“Damn, you guys suddenly working for the papers?” Niall jokes. “What’s with the third degree?”

“We’re just trying to get to know the guy,” Liam says.

Harry chuckles. “‘S fine. I’m used to it. I don’t mind.”

And maybe Niall should have warned Harry about his friends before he asked him to come out with them. He sees it coming on their faces before it happens.

“Who’s the best superhero of all time?” Michael asks.

“Best shag you’ve ever had?” Lauren asks.

“Do you prefer when girls spit or swallow?” Louis chimes in.

“If you could shag anyone in the world, who would it be?” Perrie adds.

Harry gazes at them, wide-eyed. Just as Niall is preparing to apologize profusely though, he speaks, turning to each person in turn as he does.

“Ok… in order… Wonder Woman, obviously… I’m legally not allowed to answer that question… I don’t care as long as they get the job done… and I can’t tell you that either because you know who they are.” When he finishes, he sits back, smug.

The group appears stunned for a moment before Louis bursts into laughter, breaking the daze, and everyone else joins in.

“Oh, I like him!” Louis declares. “We’re keeping him.”

Harry absolutely preens.

 

The next morning, Niall wakes to a notification on his phone. @Harry_Styles has followed him on twitter. He opens the app and finds a Direct Message.

_Didn’t have your number. Just wanted to say thanks for inviting me last night. I had fun. -x H_

Niall taps his phone, debating his response before simply sending back his phone number. Not even thirty seconds later, his phone pings with a text from an unknown number. He opens it.

_Do you want to know how I saved you in my phone?_

Niall doesn’t even have a chance to respond before another text comes through with nothing but the robot emoji.

Niall cackles. He digs through his emojis but can’t find anything to represent the scarecrow. Finally, he saves the number under the Santa emoji. He figures that’s still appropriate.

He sends a text to Harry with the Santa emoji and follows it with another text.

_Sorry no scarecrows. Went with the next best thing!_

He gets a string of laughing emojis in response.

He’s absolutely sure Harry Styles is going to be the death of him.

\-----

Wednesdays are double show days. Unlike many on Broadway, Niall still goes out to sign playbills for those that attend the matinee performance. They still came out to support the show and they’re excited enough about it to be waiting around after, so it’s the least he can do to give them a good experience.

When he steps outside, he’s surprised to find Harry already out there, chatting away with some fans.

When a group of girls squeals, “NIALL!” Harry whips around and grins at him. Niall gives a small wave before starting on the playbills. He catches up to Harry easily. Harry has far more fans than he does, after all.

“Hey,” he says when he reaches him.

Harry grins at him again, sunglasses perched on his nose, hair fluffing in the wind. “Hey,” he replies. He takes a moment to snap a picture with the girls he’s currently talking to before looking at Niall again.

“Are you going back inside or going out to lunch?” Harry asks.

Niall shrugs, signing a few playbills.

“You were amazing, Niall!” a girl says.

“Ta,” Niall says with a nod before moving on. He glances at Harry. “Was probably just going to order in and have a quick nap.”

“Oh.” Harry’s frowning at the playbill he’s currently signing.

“Were you thinking of going somewhere?” Niall asks as he watches Harry take a selfie with a group of girls.

“I don’t know. Maybe,” Harry replies, moving down the row.

Niall moves along with him. “I’ll go somewhere… if you want. Just need to run back in and grab my wallet.”

Harry glances over at him. Niall wishes Harry wasn’t wearing sunglasses so he could better read the look on his face.

“You don’t have to… if you’re not in the mood for it.”

A girl starts speaking before Niall can respond. “Boq is my favorite!” she says and Niall turns to give her his full attention. “You did such a great job with him. I’ve seen Wicked with three different Boqs but you’re my favorite.”

Niall grins, flattered by her words. “Thank you. Means a lot to me.”

“Can I get a picture with you?”

“Of course!” Niall turns and grins brightly at the phone the girl holds out.

When she pulls the phone back, she’s biting her lip like she has more to say. Niall waits patiently until she speaks.

“So… are you and Taylor… ya know?” she asks timidly.

Niall’s brow furrows. “Dating?” At the girl’s nod, he continues. “Nah. Just friends.”

“You look at her on stage a lot,” the girl continues.

Out of the corner of his eye, Niall can tell Harry is listening. He has his head cocked a little in their direction and he hasn’t moved much since the girl started talking.

Niall breathes out a laugh. “It’s just Boq’s jealousy of Glinda and Fiyero. That’s all Boq.”

“I’ve never seen Boq look at Glinda that way before,” the girl presses.

Niall can feel his face heating up and he curses his fair skin. His blush has to be painfully obvious.

“We’re just friends,” Niall says, a bit more sharply than he means to, moving on before she can say another word.

He finally catches up to Harry again.

“Did you still want to do lunch?” Niall asks.

“No. I think I might just order in and have a nap as well,” Harry says, a dark edge in his voice.

Niall blinks at him, surprised. Again, he wishes the sunglasses weren’t in the way. Harry’s lips are set in a careful line like he’s trying to maintain his composure. Niall wonders what could have changed so suddenly.

Harry turns to snap a selfie with the girls he’s currently with. The pair finish the rest of the line without speaking to each other again before heading back inside. Harry’s making a beeline for his dressing room.

“Harry! Wait up!” Niall calls out, hurrying after him. “Harry…” He grabs onto Harry’s arm, startled by how quickly Harry turns around. He’s no longer wearing his sunglasses. They’re tucked into the v of his shirt. His eyes are blazing with something wild and desperate that Niall can’t quite grasp.

“I just need to lie down,” Harry says.

“Right… okay…” Niall lets go of his arm slowly. Harry stares at him for another moment before turning on his heel and heading into his dressing room, door closing loudly behind him.

Niall gazes at it for a long moment before finally heading into his own dressing room. Suddenly, he’s not so hungry either. He sets an alarm on his phone and lies down to try and sleep.

When he wakes up, his stomach is threatening to tear itself apart. He checks the time on his phone and decides he at least has time to make it to the hot dog cart that’s usually parked nearby.

Against his better judgment, he gets four hot dogs and finds himself shuffling back and forth on his feet outside Harry’s dressing room before forcing himself to knock.

The door opens slowly and Harry stares at him blankly.

“Yes?” he says.

Niall holds up the hot dogs. “Thought you could use a bite before the show starts.”

Harry eyes the hot dogs warily, then sighs, seeming resigned. “Saves me from having to track something down,” he says.

Niall holds out two of the hot dogs and Harry takes them.

“Thanks,” he says.

“No problem,” Niall replies. He chews his lip, considering his next words. “You… uhm… feeling better?”

Harry scrubs his free hand through his hair. “Yeah… fine… I’ll see you after the show.”

Before Niall can think of anything to say to keep the conversation going, the door is closing in his face. He blinks at it, wondering at Harry’s strange behavior. He finally heads to his own dressing room to eat.

On stage, it feels like every time Niall looks at Harry, Harry’s already looking at him, brow furrowed like he’s trying to figure something out. Niall finally has to force himself to stop looking at Harry altogether because he can’t handle his piercing gaze, nearly tripping over his own feet more than once.

When the show ends and they’ve gone to their separate dressing rooms, Niall decides it’s best to try to text Harry this time so he doesn’t get the door shut in his face for a third time today.

_Want to go out with the group tonight?_

It takes a few minutes for his phone to ping with a response. Niall had almost given up on receiving one.

_Sure_

_Meet you outside?_

_Yeah_

Niall can tell Harry still isn’t back to normal, but at least he agreed to go out. Niall finishes changing and heads out. The crowd is far more rowdy than this afternoon’s was. Night shows usually have more people waiting at stage door, but the difference is staggering with this type of crowd. Girls trip over their words talking to him. He snaps a few selfies, has a few chats, and quickly hides in the doorway once he’s done. He’s not sure he’s going to be able to handle this every night.

A scream goes up and Niall knows Harry must have exited the theater. He peeks around the corner and watches him chat with fans and take pictures. He always makes it look so easy. Niall steps out as Harry approaches and the two of them start down the sidewalk in silence.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” Harry says. “Wasn’t feeling well all of a sudden.”

Niall looks over at him but Harry is staring at the ground. “S’fine.”

“Do you have a crush on Taylor?” Harry finally blurts.

Niall gazes at him, wide-eyed, before finally laughing awkwardly. “No… She’s not my type.” His brow furrows. “Do you?” he asks. Maybe that’s why Harry had been so upset… because he thought Niall would stand in the way of his crush. He _had_ been at the party at Taylor’s request after all. “You’d have a chance if you do. She’s pretty into you.”

Harry shakes his head quickly. “No… I… No.”

“Oh,” Niall says. “Okay.”

They continue on in silence.

“Who else is coming out tonight?” Harry asks.

Niall shrugs. “No one ever really knows. We just sort of show up. There’s usually at least four of us on any given night though. Louis is almost always around.”

Harry nods a bit. “Thank you for… uhm… letting me be part of your group.”

“Course,” Niall says easily. “We enjoy having you around.”

Harry grins over at him, the first genuine grin Niall has seen from him since that afternoon, and Niall happily returns it.

\------

Niall wakes up Monday morning and wonders why he allowed Harry to talk him into going out on their only day off. He’s exhausted. He was not physically or mentally prepared for the type of crowd Harry brought to the theater. He’s not sure he has the energy to keep up. He thought for sure Harry would be drained too, between the crowds and having to get used to the rigorous show schedule, but he’d seemed eager to get out and explore the city and, well, how could Niall refuse?

He drags himself out of bed with a groan, stretching and wishing very much that he could flop back down, pull the covers over his head, and hide from the world.

He shuffles out into the kitchen to see if he can scrounge up something to eat. He doesn’t want to eat too much since he’s supposed to be meeting Harry for brunch, but it’s still a couple hours away and Niall’s always hungry.

His roommate, Andrew, is seated at the counter, looking like a god, despite the early hour, and scrolling through his phone while he eats. He’s probably on Twitter. He rarely posts but always lurks. He looks up when Niall enters.

“Morning,” he says. “What are you doing up so early?”

Niall opens the fridge, scanning the contents. “Going out with Harry. He wants me to show him around.”

Andrew laughs. “Well that explains it then.”

Niall flicks him off without turning around. He grabs the orange juice and pours himself a glass before popping a couple slices of bread in the toaster. When his toast is ready, he joins Andrew at the counter.

“What are you up to today?” he asks, taking a bite of his toast.

Andrew shrugs. “Faye and the lads are playing at the pub tonight so I’ll probably pop round and say hello. Haven’t really thought beyond that. Might just do a bit of writing.”

Andrew had come from Ireland with Niall. He’d taken Broadway by storm, starring as ‘Guy’ in Once, then decided out of the blue that Broadway just wasn’t for him. He’d quickly found a job as a bartender at an Irish pub and plays small gigs now and then. He’s immersed himself in the underground band scene of the Big Apple and Niall envies his life just a bit. He’s so casually cool and everyone he ever comes in contact with falls instantly in love with him. Of course, that might have more to do with his wild brown hair and supermodel stature. Even Niall had been half in love with him for a time after they’d first met.

“Working on anything new?” Niall asks.

“Tossing around a few ideas, yeah.”

“Anything interesting?”

“Possibly.”

“Ever the mysterious one, eh Hozy?” Niall says, laughing softly.

“Part of my charm,” Andrew says with a grin.

Niall finishes his breakfast and decides to jump in the shower. He stands in the spray, head down, and lets the warm water wash over him. He rolls his back, easing the tension in his muscles. He’s always a bit stiff after a long week and this week felt twice as long as normal. He stands there and just enjoys the heat for a bit. Seven more weeks, he tells himself. But that thought sits bitter in the back of his mind. Sure, the hoards of fans will be gone, but… so will Harry.

He wouldn’t really say they’ve become close this past week, but if Niall was headed to the bar, then so was Harry. Harry had even taken to texting him silly pictures he found on the internet. One morning, it was just a steady stream of dogs in hats. Niall hadn’t even bothered ask how that google adventure had started. Some things are better left a mystery.

Niall finds himself wondering if they’ll still keep in touch once Harry’s gone, then immediately finds himself doubting it. Harry probably has a ton off more important Hollywood-type friends to get back to once all this over. Niall is still just Niall.

He decides to stop depressing himself and get cleaned off.

After his shower, he plays a bit of FIFA to relax and shut off his mind before it’s finally time to head off and meet Harry.

“Good luck on your date!” Andrew calls after him as he heads out the door.

“Arse!” Niall yells back, shutting the door on the sound of Andrew’s laughter.

He’s meeting Harry at Cafe Lalo because the second Harry had found out it had been used in You’ve Got Mail, he’d freaked out and insisted they needed to go. It’s only a couple blocks from Niall’s apartment, which would be a better walk on a nicer day, but it’s currently windy.

He shoves his hands into his pockets and hunches into his coat, hurrying all the way to the cafe. The burst of warmth that greets him when he opens the door makes him breathe a sigh of relief, the scent of baking pastries wrapping around him at the same time.

He looks around the cafe, not seeing Harry, but a glance at his watch tells him he’s a tad early. He gets a table towards the back and pulls out his phone, scrolling idly through Twitter while he waits for Harry.

The tweet arrives before Harry does.

_Don’t you love New York in the fall?_

Niall cackles. It’s mid-March, but it’s a line from the movie. He can’t even imagine how confused Harry’s millions of followers are going to be.

A moment later, Harry himself appears, pink-cheeked and grinning. He removes his sunglasses as he makes his way to the table.

“Hello,” he says, taking off his coat and hanging it over the seat before sitting across from Niall. Niall has never gone out with Harry in daylight before. No one had ever paid them much attention in the dim bar, but he can tell people are starting to take notice of who has just entered, not so subtle gazes being sent their way.

“Hello,” Niall replies, trying not to let his nerves get the better of him. The people probably don’t even notice him. All they care about is Harry. “Find the place okay?”

“Yeah. Not a bad walk from the subway. Could have done without the wind though,” he says, running his fingers through his hair in a poor attempt to try and tame it before giving up and shoving his sunglasses into his hair.

Niall breathes out a laugh. “Yeah I hope it dies down before we head back out.”

“If not, we can always hit a museum or something. The Met is nice.” Harry picks up his menu and Niall follows suit. “Got any recommendations?”

Niall shrugs. “Only been here a couple times. I’m sure everything is good though.”

Harry’s eyes widen suddenly. “Nevermind. I’m obviously getting the Breakfast at Tiffany’s.”

Niall finds it on the menu and laughs. “That gonna be enough?”

Harry’s brow furrows in thought as he scans the menu again.

The server comes over a couple minutes later to take their orders, doing a double take when she sees Harry, but she quickly composes herself, a faint blush coloring her cheeks. Harry barely seems to notice as he orders, tacking on a soufflé, and Niall gets a Nutella waffle and a tea.

When the server leaves, Niall risks a glance around the restaurant. Most people have resumed their conversations normally, but a few still shoot furtive glances at their table now and then.

“So…” Harry says, drawing Niall’s attention back to him. “Where in Ireland are you from?”

“Mullingar,” Niall says.

Harry nods a bit. “Family still there?”

“Yeah.”

“You close?”

Niall shrugs. “To my dad, yeah. I facetime with him as often as I can. Bit hard with the time difference, but we manage. My mum and I talk now and then, but she’s not so great with technology so we mostly chat via facebook message. It’s easier. I haven’t spoken to my brother in a while. He… uh… doesn’t really approve of the direction my life has taken.”

“Moving to New York, you mean?”

Niall sighs. “Something like that, yeah.” He’s not about to get into the whole ‘liking boys’ aspect of it, lest Harry deduce, correctly, that Niall has a crush on him. “How bout you?” he asks before Harry can ask any more follow-up questions.

“Holmes Chapel. My mum and I talk as often as we can, but it’s harder now that I’m based in LA. My sister…” Harry breathes out a laugh. “We’re a lot alike. I usually message her at least once a day, even if it’s just a silly meme. She’s been my biggest supporter since… well since before I even auditioned for X Factor.” He chews on his lip. “I talk to my dad every once in a while, but we haven’t really been close since he and my mum divorced.”

“How old were you?”

“Seven.”

“I was five when my parents split, so I understand.”

Harry nods a bit. He looks down at the table, tracing his finger around a water stain. The server comes to bring their tea, so the conversation pauses for a moment. When she leaves, Harry picks it back up.

“I lived with my mum, mostly,” he says. “She’s always been strong. My stepdad was great too, but he passed away last year.”

“I heard about that. I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thanks,” Harry says. His hand falls flat on the table and he looks up at Niall again. “Your parents remarry?”

“Mum did. Chris is alright. Never really spent much time around him, to be honest. Grew up with my dad, went off to uni in London for theater, and then wound up here.” He finishes with a shrug, then breathes out a laugh. “Boy… this conversation got heavy fast.” He meets Harry’s eyes and Harry’s lips quirk into a smile.

“What’s your favorite movie?” he asks.

“Grease… though Stepbrothers is a close second.”

“Oooh I love Grease! Who’s your favorite character?”

“Rizzo, of course.”

“Of course!” Harry reaches over for a high-five and Niall laughs as he high-fives him.

“What’s your favorite movie?”

“Promise not to laugh?”

Niall arches an eyebrow. “Promise.”

“Love Actually.”

“Why would I laugh? That movie’s a classic!”

Harry beams. “Favorite character?”

“Oh definitely Billy. I imagine if I became a rock star, I’d like to be like him.”

Harry cackles. “You would not. He’s such a terrible person. He’s all sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll.”

“Not at the end he’s not!”

“Fair enough,” Harry say, still chuckling.

“Who’s your favorite?”

“I love Jamie and Aurelia. Their story is so sweet. Love against all odds.”

“Oh that is a good one.”

The server returns with their food. Niall realizes he’d been having such a good time, he’d almost forgotten how hungry he is. Now that he sees the Nutella drizzled and melting over the warm waffle, his mouth starts watering.

For a moment, they just enjoy their food in silence and Niall likes it. It’s simple. He’d been anxious about spending an entire day with Harry, not sure what they’d talk about or if he’d somehow end up making things awkward, but so far, he’s glad he came out. He finally breaks the silence.

“So… any idea what you’d like to do today?”

Harry shrugs. “Don’t really have any set plans in mind. Thought we could see where the day takes us.”

Niall chuckles softly. “We should have an idea before we set out. This city is a bit spread out. I will say there’s not much to do in this area. We’ll need to head further down.”

Harry mulls it over. “We’re not far from Central Park, are we?”

Niall shakes his head. “It’s just down the road. Bout a five to ten minute walk, I’d say.”

“Let’s go there first. If the wind’s died down, we can wander a bit. It’s nice.”

“Sounds like a good plan to me.”

They finish their food and when the server brings the check, Harry snatches it before Niall has a chance to.

“You don’t have to pay,” Niall insists.

Harry shrugs. “You’re showing me around the city. Least I can do.”

The server returns Harry’s card and they bundle up again and head out. The wind has thankfully calmed to a slight breeze that actually feels kind of nice, if a bit nippy. The sun is shining brightly and Niall is glad it’s a least a good day for exploring.

“So, what made you decide to do theater?” Harry asks.

“I’ve always wanted to be a singer,” Niall says. “Never could get up the nerve to do something like audition for X Factor, so I chose the next best thing. When I went off to uni, I ended up falling in love with it. One of my professors told me I was a natural and encouraged me to pursue it professionally and… well… here I am.”

Harry chuckles softly. “You couldn’t audition for X Factor, but you picked up and moved to New York to star on Broadway?”

Niall shrugs. “There were more opportunities open. I don’t know. It felt different, I guess. Like all I had to do was apply myself and work hard and I could get any role I wanted. Plus, in a big production, I have a built-in support system. S’not just me. Sure, I go to auditions by myself, but it’s one audition and then I’m part of a pretty great team for however many months. I get to meet new people all the time and have new experiences and I get to do it all here… in one place, instead of running around the world all the time. I’ve sort of fallen in love with New York now. It’s not Ireland, but it’s home. It’s done a lot for me.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you could have made it on X Factor too,” Harry says.

Niall laughs. “No, I wouldn’t have. The year I very nearly got up the courage to audition is the year you were on!”

“We could have met seven years ago?” Harry almost sounds offended. “You should have auditioned.” He giggles. “Maybe they would have paired us up. We could have become a world famous pop duo.”

Niall laughs again. “Now you’re just taking the piss,” he says. “What made you decide to audition?”

Harry shrugs. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Niall snorts. “You auditioned for X Factor… because it was a good idea?”

“Sure. I wanted to sing so… I went and I sang and now here I am.”

“What brought you to New York? And don’t say ‘it seemed like a good idea.’” Niall teases.

Harry laughs. “Nah. My agent heard they were looking for a big name. I’m between tours and it sounded neat. I liked the idea of being able to perform but staying in one location for a change. Plus, I’ve always wanted to try my hand at acting and, for a singer, musical theater is as good of a place as any to start.”

“Fair enough,” Niall says. “What would you be doing if you hadn’t auditioned for X Factor?”

“Don’t know, really. I had a lot of ideas. Law, probably, I guess. I like the idea of using it to help people.”

“You’d make a good lawyer.” At Harry’s arched eyebrow, Niall continues. “You’re a good actor. I think you need that to be a good lawyer. Convincing a jury you’re right and all that.”

“Thanks,” Harry says, smiling shyly.

They finally make it to the park and Niall has to admit, he loves how the city almost seems to shut itself off the moment they step foot in the park. It’s a peaceful little island in the midst of all the chaos.

“So…” Harry says as they wander lazily up the trail. “Michael’s got his dream role now and it sounds like Louis’ got his,” Niall laughs and Harry smirks at him before continuing. “What about you? What’s your dream role?”

Niall mulls it over. “Well, I’d love to play Mark in RENT someday, but it’s only touring at the moment and they’re not exactly looking for an Irish kid for a very American story so… Charlie in Kinky Boots would be fun. At least for that, they’re looking for a Brit, so I might stand a chance!”

Harry laughs. “Irish isn’t British.”

Niall arches an eyebrow at him. “Obviously. But I can do a pretty good accent, if I do say so myself.” He grins and thinks for a second, slowing his voice when he speaks. “I’m Harry Styles. Beautiful British pop star. Look at me! I’m so British! And I can sing!” He starts singing What Makes You Beautiful, trying to maintain the horrible accent.

Harry cackles beside him. “I do not sound like that!” he protests, punching him playfully in the shoulder.

“Ow! Hey!” Niall says, laughing and punching him back.

“Ow!” Harry giggles, rubbing his arm.

“Excuse me?” They hear from behind them.

The pair stop and turn around. Two girls, probably in college from the looks of them, are gazing at Harry and Niall wide-eyed and nervous.

“Sorry to bother you. We’re just… we’re really big fans,” the blonde girl says.

“Oh. Ta,” Harry says, smiling broadly.

“Could we get a picture?” the brunette asks.

“Of course,” Harry says amiably.

“Did you want me to take it for you?” Niall offers.

“Actually… we’d uhm… like you to be in it too,” the blonde says, eyes darting around like she’s not sure if it’s okay.

“Oh,” Niall says, blinking slowly as he processes it. He’s never been recognized in public before. “Yeah. Alright.”

The girls grin. They find a nice enough looking family to snap the photo for them with each of their phones. When they get the phones back, they examine the pictures and grin at Harry and Niall.

“Thank you!” They say together.

“Our pleasure,” Harry says with a nod.

The girls grin and run off, whispering and giggling with their heads ducked together.

Harry chuckles softly as he and Niall turn and head back down the path.

“That happen often?” Niall asks.

“Depends where I am. It’s happened a pretty decent amount since I got to New York though.”

“Do you ever get used to it?”

Harry shrugs. “Part of the job. S’not so bad. I mean… sometimes I’m having a bad day and I have to grin and bear it, but like… I want them to have a good experience, you know? Might be the only time they ever meet me and I don’t want to be a jerk.”

“That’s kind of you. Most people wouldn’t care so much or they’d find it a nuisance.”

“It was only seven years ago that I was just as average a person as they are. I’m not going to forget where I came from just ‘cause I get on a stage and sing a bit every once in a while.”

Niall chuckles. “You do a bit more than that, but I see your point.”

Harry giggles, smiling over at him.

 

Later that night, Niall logs onto Twitter to find that his follower count has exploded. He blinks. He’d had just over a thousand last he checked. Now, he’s over ten thousand.

He scrolls through his mentions and that’s when he finds the picture of him in the park with Harry and the girls. There’s a caption, which is how it ended up in his mentions.

_Look at @NiallOfficial and @Harry_Styles just hanging out in Central Park like they’re some kind of normal people or something._

That explains the followers then. Being associated with Harry would probably do that.

He thinks for a moment and decides to tweet the girl.

 _I am just a normal bloke, really. Not so sure about @Harry_Styles though._ He tacks on the winking emoji with its tongue out.

A moment later, a response comes through from Harry.

_Heyyyyyyyy_

Niall laughs. He texts Harry then.

_Pretty sure that picture just got me 9000 new followers. I’m over 10000 now._

_Only 31,483,000 more until you catch up to meeeeee._

Niall chuckles and goes back to Twitter, where he sees that the girl is now freaking out with a few of her friends over their responses. He shakes his head to himself, wondering if this is the sort of the thing Harry deals with on a regular basis. He gets curious and checks out the girl’s profile to find that she’s posted another photo. They must have followed Harry and Niall a bit before getting up the courage to talk to them.

This picture is from behind, but he and Harry are clearly laughing, heads turned toward each other as they walk.

Niall may or may not save the picture to his phone.

\-----

Niall gets to the theater the following day to find that his cardboard Harry is now sporting sharpie glasses. There’s a sticky note attached to his shirt and in Harry’s crooked handwriting, it says _“It’s art.”_

Niall thinks it over for a moment and snaps a photo. He makes it black and white, just to be an extra jerk about it, and uploads it to Twitter with a caption.

_#behindthescenes #vandalism #whodidit_

He gets a Twitter response quickly from Harry.

_It wasn’t me!_

_Of course not._

_xoxo_

Niall chuckles to himself and tucks his phone away to get ready.

 

After the show, he’s startled by the screams as he exits the building. He finds himself wondering if they’re louder than normal. Something feels… different. That was almost Harry level enthusiasm.

He signs playbills steadily until he gets to a particularly curious fan.

“Are you a fan of Harry’s too?” she asks.

Niall breathes out a laugh. “Uhm yeah… I guess.”

“I saw the cardboard Harry on Twitter. Did he give it to you?”

Niall’s brow furrows. “Nah… some mates did.”

“Are you and Harry friends?” the girl presses.

Niall shifts a little on his feet, trying to figure out how to get himself out of this conversation. It’s starting to get weird.

“Uhm…” He scrubs a hand over the back of his neck. “Yeah, I guess you could say we are.”

“Awwwwww.” The girl coos with her friends. “Were you the one that left the note on the mirror for Harry on his first day?”

“Yeah… Uh…” Niall feels a blush coloring his cheeks and moves on quickly as the girls squeal again.

It seems like more people tonight are vying for his autograph than normal and he finds it unsettling. It takes him just a bit longer to get through the line than usual and when he gets to his hiding spot, he leans back against the wall and shuts his eyes, breathing in deeply. This had to have something to do with the photo on twitter of he and Harry and the subsequent follower count. Maybe he shouldn’t have posted the photo of the cutout today. That only served to encourage people. Lesson learned.

“Hey…” he hears and startles a bit, opening his eyes to find Demi standing there.

“Hey,” he says.

“You okay?” she asks.

Niall breathes in deeply, scrubbing his hand over his face. “Yeah… fine… just a bit much with all… that,” he says, motioning in the direction of the stage door crowd.

Demi breathes out a laugh. “Yeah… been a bit intense since Harry arrived, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah, I’ll say,” Niall leans his head back against the wall. “Bit ready for it to be over, to be honest.”

Demi shrugs. “They’re not so bad.”

“You’re not the one whose picture ended up all over Twitter yesterday,” Niall mumbles.

“Oh yeahhhhhh. I saw that. Can’t really say I envy you.”

A scream goes up and Demi looks over towards the crowd, laughing. “Speak of the devil.” She appears to watch Harry for a bit. “You know… He’s pretty good with his fans. When they first said he was replacing Mikey, I thought he was going to be a real bastard.” Niall laughs at that and Demi turns to him, grinning. “Like you didn’t?”

Niall shrugs. “I wasn’t sure what to think, honestly.”

Demi chuckles. “Well, at any rate, he’s actually a pretty decent guy.” She smirks. “Good kisser too.”

Niall groans, covering his face with his hand. He did not need to know that. His mind starts running away from him with images of Harry’s soft pink lips.

“That’s really unfair,” he says. Thanks to Louis and Liam and his now infamous cardboard Harry, the Wicked cast had known about Niall’s crush for a while.

Demi laughs. “Sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

Demi grins. “No, I’m really not.” She glances to the side. “He’s headed this way now. I should probably get going anyway. See you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah. See ya.” He says, watching as Demi waves, presumably to Harry, before she heads off.

Harry appears a moment later, smiling. Niall is still leaned against the wall and he watches as Harry’s brow furrows, smile slipping.

“You alright?” He asks.

“Yeah,” Niall says, finally pushing off the wall to head down the sidewalk. “Just a bit tired.”

“Did you want to skip the bar tonight?”

“Nah. I’m good,” he says, trying to appear chipper. “Let’s go!”

Harry still eyes him for a second before finally giving in. “Alright.”

When they reach the bar, Louis looks grumpy.

“Well well well… look who finally decided to grace us with his presence,” he says. “Thought you’d gone and gotten too famous for us little people.”

Niall frowns and glances over when Harry says, “Who? Me?” He looks hurt and Niall is just wondering where the sudden attack on Harry is coming from when Louis speaks again.

“No. The other one. The bloody king of fucking Twitter,” Louis pouts.

Niall rolls his eyes, finally taking a seat next to Lauren. Harry doesn’t hesitate to squeeze in beside him, their thighs pressed flush against each other. Niall tries his best to ignore it and focus on Louis.

“I’m sorry you no longer have the most Twitter followers in the group,” Niall says. He smirks a little. “Although, really, Harry has us all beat so…”

“Harry’s a world famous pop star. Harry doesn’t count.”

“Heyyyyy! Harry does count!” Harry protests, pouting.

“Don’t listen to him. Of course you count,” Niall says, patting his knee.

Harry grins brightly at him and Niall returns it before turning his attention back to Louis when he starts speaking again.

“He does not and you shouldn’t either. You’re getting followers by association,” Louis huffs. “You’re cheating.”

Louis has been obsessed with Twitter followers since he joined Hamilton and his own count had seen a significant jump. Last Niall saw, he was at 7,000, while Niall is now approaching 13,000.

Harry is fiddling with his phone but Niall barely pays him any attention until a ding issues from his own phone with a notification.

Niall looks at Harry, who is smirking mischievously. Niall’s brow furrows, but he opens Twitter anyway, doubling over in laughter.

It’s a slightly blurry photo of an obviously pouting Louis, black and white, because of course Harry would, and it’s captioned with nothing but a crown.

“HARRY!” Louis squawks, after opening his own phone. “Take it down!”

“But you’ll get followers by association,” Harry says. Niall doesn’t even need to look at him to know he’s grinning.

“Let me see!” Lauren says. Niall holds out his phone to her and she cackles. He can tell the rest have given into curiosity when giggles start filtering through the group.

“You should really make this your new profile picture, Lou,” Liam says.

“The madness of King George!” Perrie throws in, causing the group to break into laughter again.

“It’s very dramatic,” Ashton says, pretending to analyze the photo.

“Deep. Brooding,” Michael agrees before they both snicker.

“You’re all pricks,” Louis grumbles.

It only makes everyone laugh harder.

\-----

Two days later, all hell breaks loose.

Niall’s not sure how they found it. He could have sworn he’d erased all evidence of it from all social media, but someone, somewhere, had dug it up from what was probably the darkest pits of the internet.

In the photo, Niall’s laughing at the camera. Bressie has his arm wrapped around him and he’s grinning fondly at Niall. They’d been together almost a year when this photo was taken and Niall had thought for sure he’d found the one. They just fit.

There was just the one small problem of Bressie being his professor. Most of their relationship was spent hiding, always hiding. Bressie had allowed him this one photo. It had been taken backstage, opening night of a sold out performance of Rock of Ages. It was the first show Niall had ever starred in. He’d been flying so high that night. Life had been everything he’d ever wanted it to be.

Until the day it wasn’t.

Niall jumps up from his bed as the memories come flooding back, running into the bathroom and throwing up until there’s nothing left in his stomach. He dry heaves until he’s hyperventilating, the tears coming strong and fast, sobs wracking through his body.

He falls back against the wall, curling his knees up to his chest. Of all the pictures they had to find, why did it have to be that one?

           

Niall startles awake to a knock at the door. His head feels heavy, cheek ice cold from where it’s pressed to the bathroom tile. He must have collapsed on the floor. There’s another knock.

“Niall?” A pause as Andrew waits for a response. “Nialler? You alright in there?”

Niall braces himself, slowly pushing up into a sitting position, back against the wall. His mouth tastes like something has curled up and died in it.

“Yeah, Hoz. I’m fine. I’ll just… I’ll just be a minute.” He coughs, clearing his throat. His voice is scratchy. He needs to fix it fast if he intends to make it to the show tonight. The thought almost sends him into another panic attack, heart pounding. “What time is it?”

“Half two.”

Niall sighs. There’s still plenty of time. He pulls himself up from the floor, going to the sink to rinse his mouth out. Gargling water helps ease the scratch in his throat too.

Nothing can really help his face though. His cheeks are still splotchy, eyes puffy from crying himself to sleep. He rubs at them blearily, as if it’s going to do any good. He gives up, running his fingers through his hair to try and tame it. At least that works. Mostly.

He finally opens the door and jumps. Andrew is still standing there, eyeing him carefully now.

“What’s going on?” He asks gently.

Niall sighs. If anyone can understand, it’s Andrew. He’s the only person Niall has ever confided in about the relationship and Andrew had been there to pick up the pieces after Bressie had shattered him.

“I don’t know how they found it… but some of Harry’s fans found that picture of me and Bressie. They’re spreading it around. And the worst part… the absolute worst part is that they’re figuring it out. They’re debating if he’s my ex. They’re tagging Harry in it and what if he sees?”

“Relax,” Andrew says in that deep, smooth timber he has. “I doubt Harry sees every single mention and if he does… so? It’s the internet. People say loads of weird shit on the internet. I doubt he’ll even spare it a passing thought.”

Niall sighs. “I hope you’re right.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “I should probably shower. I’ve got a headache. Need to clear my thoughts a bit.”

“Good idea,” Andrew says. “You’re starting to smell a bit ripe, honestly,” he teases.

“Hey!” Niall laughs. “Wanker!” He swats at him, but Andrew dodges it and darts off down the hallway, laughing gleefully.

Niall chuckles to himself and shuts the door again. He undresses and steps into the shower, turning it on far hotter than is probably healthy. Right now, he just wants to feel something other than his heart trying to rip itself in two.

 

An hour later, the direct messages come. The first is a link to some pop culture article, immediately followed by a slew of rapid messages, all from Bressie.

_Niall, what is this?_

_My sister found it._

_I could get fired for this!_

_Niall, what the fuck is going on?_

_How did they get this picture?_

_What have you done?_

_Did you sell it to them?_

_Niall, you better fucking answer me._

_Are you fucking Harry Styles?_

_ANSWER ME!!!!_

Niall is shaking as he reads the messages. He makes himself click the link, against his better judgement, and reads.

The article seems to be a detailed analysis of his relationship with Harry. There are a handful of pictures of him with Harry, most of which he didn’t even know had been taken. Some were taken by fans, some by paparazzi. There are photos of them leaving the Gershwin, sitting in Cafe Lalo, wandering through Central Park, and even one of them leaving the bar together. At the very bottom is the picture of Niall with Bressie, correctly identifying both of them.

A scream erupts from Niall before he can stop it. “NO!”

He hurls his phone across the room, clutching his head. “No no no no no.”

This cannot be happening. He’d escaped. This was all supposed to be buried deep in his past, across a fucking ocean.

His door bursts open then and Niall jumps, gazing at Andrew who is standing in his doorway, wide-eyed.

“Oh, Niall,” Andrew moves to sit on the bed beside him. “What’s happened now?” Niall can only point to his phone, whole body still shaking. Andrew gets up and grabs it, handing it to Niall to punch in the code. Niall puts it in and quickly shoves the phone back into Andrew’s hands. He doesn’t want to see the photo or messages again.

“Oh… Shit…” Andrew mumbles as he reads everything. When he’s done, he sets the phone aside.

“Fuck, Niall. I’m so sorry,” Andrew puts his hand on Niall’s shoulder and Niall immediately falls against him, sobbing. He feels Andrew wrap his arms around him, holding him close.

“Shh…” Andrew rocks him gently. “I know. This will all blow over soon though. People never focus on this sort of thing for long.”

“But Bressie… his messages,” Niall gasps out.

“Ignore him. You owe him nothing. If he gets fired, good riddance. He made his own choices in life. If these are the consequences, then he must face them.”

Niall sniffles, mulling it over, even as tears continue to slide down his cheeks.

“How the fuck are you so deep all the time?” he finally mumbles.

Andrew laughs. “It’s who I am as a person.”

“Fuck off,” Niall says, pushing him half-heartedly with one hand, even as he continues to cling to him with the other.

It’s quiet as Niall reins himself in, focusing on taking deep breaths and getting himself back under control. It’ll be much longer before he’s truly in a good mental place though.

“Gonna skive off work tonight?” Andrew asks after what feels like ages of silence. “I can call out with you. Stay in. Get hammered. Order takeaway. Watch terrible movies.”

Niall breathes out a laugh. “That sounds brilliant.” He sits up a little and Andrew loosens his grip. “Hand me my phone.”

Andrew hands it to him and Niall takes it, face blanching when he sees the name on the screen.

“Fuck me,” Andrew says. “What happened now?”

Niall turns his phone so Andrew can see the missed call from Greg. It’s via Facebook, of course. Greg would never pay the international fees to talk to his brother.

“Bloody hell. Did he send any messages?”

Niall opens his phone to see a brief, angry message from Greg.

 _It’s bad enough you like cock, but do you have to parade it in front of the whole world? You’re an embarrassment to this family._ At the end, he’s linked the same article Bressie linked.

Niall shoves his phone into Andrew’s hands to read.

Andrew reads it and sighs. “Alright. Call the theater and then it’s no more phone for you tonight,” he says, handing the phone back.

Niall calls and speaks with Simon, giving him a spiel about a stomach virus, then texts a brief apology to his understudy for the short notice. After some thought, he decides he should text Harry as well.

_Won’t be coming tonight. See you tomorrow._

Once that’s sent, he powers off his phone and looks to Andrew.

“Can we get started on those beers?”

Andrew breathes out a laugh. “Of course.”

\-----

The following day, Niall isn’t even in his dressing room five minutes before Harry is bursting in, wild-eyed.

Niall looks up from where he’s unpacking his bag, startled. “Harry?”

Harry shuts the door behind himself. “You haven’t been answering my texts or my calls. No one’s heard from you since yesterday afternoon. You can’t just send a text like that and then drop off the face of the earth.”

Niall looks away, guilt twisting in his stomach. He hadn’t wanted to turn his phone on last night and he’d only half forgotten that it was still off today. It felt good, not being tied to the stupid thing and not having to see what anyone was saying about him… or to him.

“I told you I’d be back today,” Niall mumbles, still not looking at Harry. He fiddles with the strap of his backpack between his fingers just to keep his hands occupied.

“You didn’t confirm it this morning. I’ve been worried,” Harry replies quietly.

For a moment, the pair just stand there in silence. Niall’s not really sure what to say. He can’t tell Harry the real reason he was gone and the thought of lying to him makes him feel worse, so he just doesn’t speak because he’s honestly out of words.

He hears Harry sigh.

“Whatever… glad you’re okay.”

Niall hears him turn, the soft pats of his feet against the floor as he walks away, then the door opens and shuts and the room is suddenly far too quiet.

Niall sinks down into his chair and buries his face in his hands. Maybe it’s for the best. No more Harry, no more articles, no more messages from Bressie and Greg.

           

There’s palpable tension on stage. Boq and Fiyero are supposed to be rivals, but tonight, Niall thinks they must come across as downright loathing each other. Harry doesn’t even grab him at the start of Dancing Through Life like he’s supposed to, just steps up behind him when the time is right to yank the book from Niall’s grasp. He hurls it backstage with a little more force than necessary and Niall feels real shame and embarrassment coloring his cheeks as he rushes to retrieve it.

The rest of the show isn’t any better, to the point that Niall switches places with Selena for curtain so he doesn’t have to stand beside Harry. The look he gets from Harry surprises him. He looks… hurt.

Niall retreats backstage quickly when it’s over. For the first time in his Broadway career, he contemplates not going outside. He just can’t imagine facing the crowd or the questions.

He sees his phone, still off, on his vanity and chews on his lip before finally reaching for it and powering it back on. It takes a moment before suddenly exploding with texts. He’s got at least one from everyone in the group who has his number, plus a missed call each from Liam, Louis, Michael, and Perrie, and a slew of messages and phone calls from Harry. Harry’s texts become increasingly more urgent until the final text.

_Please text me. I just need to know you’re okay._

It had been sent at noon today.

Niall swallows hard. Harry genuinely cares about him and his wellbeing and he doesn’t understand why or what he did to deserve it. He sighs and finally googles the article - he refuses to look at the messages from Greg and Bressie again to find it. They’ve sent more messages since he last checked and he doesn’t care to know what they have to say.

He finally locates the article and sends the link to Harry and nothing more before he removes his makeup and changes.

He’s packing up his bag when, for the second time that day, his door bursts open and a crazed Harry bursts in.

Niall straightens up and waits, not sure what’s going to happen. Harry shuts the door and is across the room in the blink of an eye, pinning Niall to the wall.

“Are you gay?” Harry asks.

“Wh-What?” Niall’s eyes widen, his blood running cold.

“Are you gay?” Harry repeats, eyes boring into Niall’s soul.

“No…” Niall says because he can’t think of any other response at the moment.

He watches Harry closely and is surprised to see his face fall, his grip loosening on Niall’s shoulders.

“I’m bi, though,” Niall blurts before he can stop himself.

“ _Niall!_ ” Harry growls, grip tightening again.

Niall’s breath catches. For a moment, they’re just gazing at each other, on the edge of something that Niall doesn’t understand and then… then Harry is crushing their lips together.

Niall can’t process it, eyes still wide. Harry Styles is kissing him. Harry Fucking Styles… the bloke he’s had a crush on from afar since they were sixteen. A switch seems to flip in his body and his eyes fall shut as he lets out a moan.

He tugs Harry closer, the kiss becoming a fight for dominance as Niall finally pushes back into it. Harry moves until their bodies are flush against each other and holy fuck… he’s really kissing Harry Styles.

Niall moans again as the thought strikes him. He can feel himself hardening in his jeans and is almost embarrassed until Harry shifts just right and Niall can tell he’s in a similar state.

He gasps against Harry’s lips and Harry uses the opportunity to slide his tongue past Niall’s parted lips, letting out the filthiest moan Niall has ever heard in his life.

Niall swears it enters him, a shiver running down his spine in response.

He hears Harry’s breath catch, feels his fingers grasp impossibly tighter at Niall’s shoulders.

“Fuck… Niall… I want to blow you until you see stars,” Harry murmurs against his lips.

Niall feels his knees try and give out, Harry’s hands, his body, the only things keeping him upright. Niall is so turned on, he’s dizzy with it, can hardly think past Harry Harry Harry. Harry all over him. Harry’s soft pink lips wrapped around his cock. He feels it throb painfully against the zip of his jeans.

A very poorly timed knock sends him crashing back to reality. Harry springs off of him like a cat dipped in water and Niall suddenly feels cold all over from the loss of his body heat.

“Yeah?” Niall calls out, voice coming out rough.

“Harry with you?” he hears Paul ask. He’s one of the extra security guards that had been hired on to help out since Harry started.

“Yeah,” Niall says again, coughing into his hand to try and clear his throat and not sound so thoroughly fucked out.

“You two planning on coming out or should we tell the crowd to disperse? You’re the last ones of the night.”

Niall accidentally looks over just as Harry is trying to adjust himself in his trousers. He catches Niall’s gaze, a bright blush coloring his cheeks. He removes his hand and that only causes Niall’s brain to switch itself off, the bulge in Harry’s trousers so mouth-wateringly obvious.

“Niall?” he hears from beyond the door and fuck...Paul and the fans. Right.

He forces himself to meet Harry’s eyes. “Harry?”

Harry’s cheeks are still tinged pink, his hair a disheveled mess. A glance towards the mirror lets Niall know he’s not much better off himself.

“Five minutes?” He whispers to Harry. Harry only nods in response. “Five minutes, Paul!” Niall says louder.

“Right-o.”

Niall listens to the sound of Paul’s retreating footsteps. He shuts his eyes and leans his head back against the wall, breathing in deeply and trying to think of something that is the polar opposite of sexy. It’s impossibly hard when he can still hear Harry breathing heavily nearby. He’s just thanking his lucky stars that they both have long coats. Fuck.

When a few minutes have passed and he’s mostly gotten himself back under control, he opens his eyes. Harry is already watching him intently. Niall forgets how to breathe for a second.

“Are you coming back to my place?” Harry asks.

“Fuck…” Niall says, because how else is he supposed to respond to that? He swallows hard. Harry’s still watching him carefully. Niall nods.

“Yeah,” he manages. “Alright.”

Harry steps forward then to kiss him, like a promise of what’s to come, but it’s over far too soon. Niall sighs.

Harry darts back to his room to grab his things. Niall slips his coat on and shoves his pageboy cap down over his messy hair. Thank god for winter clothing.

Harry’s waiting for him in the hallway, chewing on his thumbnail. He looks up as Niall shuts his door.

“I like the hat,” Harry says simply.

“Thanks,” Niall replies. He’s obviously keeping the hat forever.

There’s a brief moment where they just gaze at each other before Harry finally turns and heads down the hall. Niall follows behind him, starting to count to ten in his head as he tries to prepare himself for what’s surely waiting for them on the other side of the stage door.

The screams that erupt when Harry opens the door are like nothing he’s ever heard before.

“NARRY!” he hears someone scream loudly as he steps out behind Harry. It makes him freeze and he knows he must look like a deer in the headlights as he remembers the article. He has to remind himself that if it weren’t for said article, he wouldn’t be minutes away from heading home with Harry. That thought threatens to send him down a path even more dangerous than the last. He shakes himself out of it and finally starts signing playbills.

He senses Harry looking at him and he glances his way. Harry’s brow seems furrowed in question. He probably noticed Niall’s tension. Niall just gives him a small smile that Harry matches before they turn back to their fans.

Somehow, it seems that the line is impossibly longer than normal. Niall feels like his fingers are going to fall off, from the cold and all the signing. He feels like he’s in a daze and he finds himself glancing Harry’s way more than he probably should. At least half of those times, he catches Harry already looking at him. He’s trying to focus on the fans, he really is, but all he can think about is Harry making good on his promise. He’s suddenly immensely grateful for the wind because his blush is surely hidden behind his cold bitten cheeks.

When they finally _finally_ make it to the end, they head off quietly down the sidewalk together, side by side. Niall knows it’s just his imagination, but he could still swear he can feel Harry’s body heat radiating off of him. He’s so close. Niall clenches his fists in his pockets to keep from reaching out and pulling Harry to him so they can pick up where they left off. He just has to tell himself it won’t be much longer now.

Niall pulls out his phone, deciding he should text Andrew so he doesn’t worry.

_Won’t be home tonight._

_Everything alright?_

_Probably staying at Harry’s_

_Congratulations!!! I expect all manner of sordid details later._

_Of course._

Andrew sends a thumbs up emoji and Niall chuckles, tucking his phone back in his pocket.

“Who was that?” Harry asks.

“Roommate. Letting him know I… uhm… might not make it home.”

Harry smirks. “Not if I have any say in it.”

Niall feels his cheeks heating up and knows this is the sort of blush that reaches the tips of his ears and spreads down his chest. He’s once again glad for winter clothes to save him from embarrassment.

They turn the corner to head to the subway, but Harry grabs his arm to stop him. Niall looks at him, brow furrowed.

“I’ll get us a cab. It’ll be quicker. Just wanted to get out of sight of the crowd,” Harry explains.

Niall nods and Harry turns to the street, eyeing the traffic before lifting his arm as a bright yellow taxi approaches. Luckily, it sees him and pulls to the side, stopping in front of them.

Harry opens the door and slides in, Niall following after. He shuts the door as Harry gives his address to the cabbie.

The cab is silent as the cabbie pulls off the curb and into the flow of traffic. Niall is suddenly very aware of how hard his heart is pounding in his chest, his blood feeling like it’s a thousand degrees. He’s sitting in a cab with Harry Fucking Styles, on the way to shag him. He’s going to shag Harry Styles.

He tries to bring himself back down to earth before his nerves get the better of him. It’s Harry now. Just Harry. The ridiculous man-child who sends him pictures of animals in clothes and whatever he’s eating for lunch on any given day. They’ve been joined at the hip for almost two weeks now. Just Harry.

He makes the mistake of looking over at him. Harry’s looking out the window, head tilted up slightly as he watches brightly colored signs go by, the colors dancing over his skin amidst the shadows. It gives him an ethereal glow. Niall has never seen a man more beautiful in his life.

Harry turns to him and Niall snaps out of his daze, head ducking in shame at being caught staring. Harry’s hand creeps into view and his fingers slide into Niall’s, holding his hand tight. Niall looks up at him, breathing shakily as he meets Harry’s gaze.

A smile curls at Harry’s lips and Niall licks his own, nervous. He doesn’t miss the way Harry’s gaze flicks down briefly to watch it. Niall sucks in a breath, forcing himself to turn his attention to his own window so he doesn’t leap across the seat and give the cabbie a show. He hears Harry sigh and shift beside him and risks a glance in his direction. Harry’s looking out his window again. His fingers are still clutched tightly in Niall’s, so Niall gives them a squeeze, pleased when Harry squeezes his hand in response.

The ride passes in silence. Niall’s too nervous to think of anything to say.

When the cab finally pulls to a stop, Harry slides his hand out of Niall’s to fish his wallet out. He swipes his card to pay and the pair climb out of the car. Harry leads the way inside, giving the doorman a polite nod.

In the elevator, Harry pushes the button for the tenth floor and leans against the wall. Niall watches as he runs his fingers through his hair. The move almost makes him think Harry is as nervous as he is but why would he be?

The doors ding open. There’s only a handful of apartments on this floor. Niall follows Harry to the left, shuffling his feet as he waits for Harry to find his keys and unlock the door. Harry finally gets it open and holds it for Niall as he steps in, shutting it behind him.

It’s dark in the apartment, save the little bit of light peeking in through the blinds. He can tell Harry is watching him closely anyway.

Then, Harry’s kissing him again and Niall finds himself once more pinned to a wall. The apartment is so quiet, Niall can hear every rustle of fabric, every smack of their lips, every gasp for breath. It’s just him and Harry and the darkness.

Niall feels his arousal growing again and he’s suddenly aware that he’s wearing far too many layers and frankly, so is Harry.

He slides his hands between them, working on the buttons of Harry’s coat. Harry shrugs it off before helping Niall out of his and then he’s back on him again, one hand sliding into Niall’s hair, the other slipping under his sweater, clutching at his waist.

Niall moans, rolling his hips against Harry, desperate for a bit of friction.

“Fuck…” Harry pants against his lips. “You’re so fucking beautiful like this.”

Niall breathes out a self-deprecating laugh. “It’s dark.”

“Mmm. Let’s fix that.” Harry presses a brief, gentle kiss to his lips before stepping back. He pulls off his boots, bracing himself with a hand against the wall as he does. It shouldn’t be sexy, but Niall thinks Harry could be doing just about anything right now and it would drive Niall mad.

“Take off your shoes or Ed will have my head,” Harry says.

Niall blinks. “Ed? Ed… Sheeran?” He asks as he follows Harry’s instructions.

“Yeah. He’s on tour so he’s letting me use the place while I’m doing the show.”

“Right…” Niall swallows, trying to compose himself. He’s about to get off with his favorite singer in the apartment of another favorite singer and what is his life right now?

Harry turns and heads back to the bedroom, Niall following behind, trying to process the thoughts spinning circles in his head. He watches Harry walk to the bed, finding the bedside lamps before moving to stand in front of Niall, who is still frozen in the doorway.

“You alright?” Harry asks gently, sliding his hand into Niall’s, swinging their joined hands lightly between them.

“Yeah… Fine…” Niall replies quietly. “Just a bit surprised this is happening. Not how I was expecting this night to go at all.”

Harry laughs. “I know the feeling.” He steps forward, placing his other hand on Niall’s cheek, pressing a kiss to his lips. “Now stop overthinking it and let me make good on my promise from earlier.”

Niall lets out an undignified moan, cock twitching in his pants.

He allows Harry to lead him towards the bed, hand warm in Niall’s own. Niall releases it only to climb on the bed, lying back against the pillows. Harry climbs on top of him, bracing himself above him.

“You’re even more beautiful like this,” Harry murmurs. “I can’t wait to have you naked.”

Niall blushes for what feels like the thousandth time and it only deepens when he realizes Harry can see it clearly now.

At least Harry is polite enough not to comment on it, instead lowering himself on top of Niall, capturing his lips in a desperate kiss. His hands wander down to tug at Niall’s shirt and Niall wiggles out of it before reaching for Harry’s.

The moment Harry’s bare chest presses against his own, Niall decides to let his body and his senses take over. He clutches at the warm, smooth expanse of Harry’s back, feeling his muscles shift and flex with each movement as Harry starts a slow grind against him.

Niall can feel Harry’s arousal pressing into his thigh, his own throbbing painfully. He’s cursing his love of skinny jeans right now, but it’s not long after that thought that Harry is working determinedly to free him from them and proceeding to wiggle out of his own.

Harry’s lips leave his, trailing down his neck, nipping and sucking as he goes. Niall can tell he’s being careful and he’s glad to be in bed with someone who knows not to leave a lasting mark. He squirms under Harry, afraid that by the time Harry makes it down to where Niall desperately needs him, it’s only going to be thirty seconds to blastoff. That would be humiliating.

That is, of course, the moment Harry decides to start stroking him over his pants. Niall gasps in surprise, hips moving into his touch as Harry slowly palms his shaft. His lips move further down Niall’s chest and he takes a nipple into his mouth, suckling on it until Niall is writhing on the bed, his body on fire.

Harry scoots further down the bed, trailing kisses down Niall’s stomach, his muscles jumping underneath his lips as he goes. Niall feels his balls tighten and whimpers softly.

Harry’s fingers curl in the waistband of Niall’s pants and he glances up at Niall.

“May I?” he asks.

Niall forces himself to look down at Harry. His pupils are blown wide, eyes glassy. His curls are a wild mane around his head. He’s gorgeous. Niall shivers, nodding slowly as he swallows past the lump in his throat. He lays his head back down, gasping as Harry tugs on his briefs and his cock springs free. He sighs in relief, but it turns into a moan as warm lips wrap around the tip.

His hands fly into Harry’s hair as he tries to force his hips to stay still, body shaking with the effort.

Harry’s tongue flicks over his slit before he swallows him down and Niall swears he nearly blacks out. His cock hits the back of Harry’s throat before Harry pulls back again and begins bobbing his head. He brings a hand up to wrap around the base, stroking him in time with his bobbing.

Niall dares a glance at him and immediately seers the image in his memory. Harry’s eyes are shut in concentration, a small crease to his brow, dark eyelashes fanned across his cheeks. His lips are stretched wide, bright pink and spit-slick around Niall’s cock.

Niall moans loudly, head falling back against the sheets. He clenches his eyes shut, focuses on the way Harry is panting around his cock, his breath coming out in warm bursts.

When Harry brings a hand up to his balls, Niall barely has time to warn him. “Harry… Gonna…”

Harry pulls back only slightly, giving one good, quick tug at his cock to get Niall spilling out into his mouth in fast, rhythmic spurts.

He pulls off only when Niall finishes and Niall loosens his grip in Harry’s hair, only just realizing how tightly his fists were clenched. He tries to feel guilty but he can barely think past the delicious fog swirling in his brain. He shivers as a small aftershock hits him and he breathes deeply to compose himself. He hears Harry slide up the bed beside him, can practically feel the motion of his body with every fiber of his being. He opens his eyes and turns his head towards Harry. Harry smiles at him, resting a hand on his chest, carding his fingers through the coarse hair there.

“See stars?” Harry asks, lips tilted in a playful smile.

Niall breathes out a laugh. “Quite a lot of them actually.”

Harry positively beams, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. Niall can taste his own bitterness on them and he’s suddenly eager to replace it with the taste of Harry.

He pushes at Harry’s shoulder and Harry gets the hint, falling back onto the bed and tugging Niall down on top of him. Niall gasps as his sensitive cock rubs against the rough fabric of Harry’s briefs. Harry lets out a moan, low and gravely, as Niall makes contact with his still-swollen cock.

Niall takes a moment to compose himself, pressing a tender kiss to Harry’s lips before he starts to slide down his body, trailing kisses as he goes. When he gets to where the laurel leaves dip into Harry’s briefs, he pauses, breathing in a shuddering breath. He traces his tongue down the length of one leaf, giving in to one of his more vivid fantasies of Harry. He’s pleased when Harry’s whole body shudders beneath him.

“Niall…” Harry pants out, hands carding through Niall’s hair.

Niall curls his fingers in Harry’s pants, finally tugging them down. He swallows hard at the sight of Harry’s cock, long and hard and already glistening with precome. He tosses Harry’s briefs aside and decides to tease him.

He doesn’t go straight for his cock, instead finding the leaves again, nipping and sucking down the length of one before moving to the other side. Harry squirms and bucks his hips underneath him and Niall feels his own cock twitch with interest at the sight. His breath catches in his throat. Harry is intoxicating.

He moves down to Harry’s thighs, the musky scent of Harry overwhelming him. He’s not sure he’s ever been so aware of a lover before.

He bites down on Harry’s thigh, causing a loud moan to emerge from Harry. He decides to do the same on the other side, please when Harry’s cock twitches this time, precome sliding down the underside.

The sight is too tantalizing and he decides to put Harry out of his misery. He wraps his hand around the base, hearing Harry’s sharp intake of breath before he wraps his mouth around the tip.

“Niall… Fuck…” Harry moans, legs shaking with his effort to hold still.

Niall slides his tongue over the slit, the slightly sweet taste of Harry coating his tongue before he finally swallows as much of his cock as he can, bracing himself so he doesn’t choke. Harry is huge and Niall can’t get him all the way down, but he does his best. He drags his tongue along the underside as he pulls back up and he hears Harry whimper above him.

“Fuck… Niall…” Harry’s hands tighten in his hair and Niall moans around his cock, eliciting a full-body shudder from Harry.

When he attempts to swallow Harry again, Harry surprises them both by coming in sharp bursts down the back of Niall’s throat.

Niall drinks it down, sucking him until he’s finished before finally pulling back. He wipes at his lips with the back of his hand and just watches Harry.

Harry’s chest is rising and falling heavily, the butterfly on his stomach fluttering when he shivers. His eyes are shut, hair a tangled mess atop his head. He throws a hand up over his face, scrubbing over it before his eyes peek open just the slightest. He smiles slowly, motioning for Niall to lay beside him, which Niall very happily does.

Harry stays on his back, so Niall lays his head on his chest, draping an arm over his waist. They’re sweaty and sticky and already smell a little sour, but Niall can’t imagine moving to save his life. He feels Harry tip his head up to press a kiss into Niall’s hair and he squeezes Harry’s waist lightly in response. Harry’s arm finally moves up to wrap around Niall, pulling him impossibly closer.

“I’m so glad you’re not straight,” Harry breathes out.

There’s a pause before they both burst into giggles.

As the giggles subside, Niall feels Harry press another kiss to his head.

“Is that article really why you didn’t talk to anyone on Thursday?” he asks.

Niall feels his blood run cold and he tries to breathe past the sudden knot in his chest.

“Uhm. Yeah,” he says, because what else is he supposed to say? He doesn’t want to get into the whole ‘the man who ripped his heart out, stomped on it, and set it on fire suddenly reappeared with a guest appearance from his dick of an older brother to send him into a panic attack’ debacle.

“Why’d it get to you so much?”

Niall shrugs, just wanting the conversation to end. He doesn’t want to talk about it on a normal day and he certainly doesn’t want to get into it while naked and reeking of sex. He feels far too vulnerable right now.

It’s quiet for a moment until Harry seems to realize he’s not going to get an answer.

He sighs softly. “I’m sorry. It’s just a side effect of being associated with me. Anyone I’m even remotely connected to has come under scrutiny at some point or another.”

Harry sounds so dejected that Niall finally lifts his head. Harry’s gazing at him, eyes sad, and it makes Niall’s heart surge. He leans down, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“It’s not your fault,” he says as he pulls back. “People can be proper dickheads when it comes to celebrities,” he smiles slightly. “But it got us here, yeah? So I guess I can’t be too upset anymore.” It’s only half true, but it’s worth saying for the grin he gets from Harry, wide and dimpled.

“Here is a very good place to be,” Harry says and Niall laughs as he allows Harry to tug him down for another kiss.

 

Saturday morning dawns far too early for Niall. He cracks his eyes open slowly, the events of the night before flooding back to him as he takes in the room that is definitely not his. He yawns, rubbing the last bit of sleep from his eyes.

“You awake?” he hears Harry speak behind him and his stomach gives a delicious swoop. He’s naked in bed with the literal boy of his dreams.

“Yeah,” he says, suppressing another yawn.

He hears the bed shifting, then soft lips press against his shoulder, a warm hand clutching at his waist.

“We have to be at the theater in two hours,” Harry murmurs in his ear as his hand starts to sneak lower. “What do you say to quick handjobs before we have to get ready?”

Niall moans softly. Harry’s hand is trailing through the coarse hair at the base of his cock, so close and yet so far.

“Yes,” he gasps out, tilting his head back to look at Harry.

Harry grins at him, leaning down to capture his lips as his hand wraps around his cock. Niall gasps again, already half-hard just from Harry’s teasing. Harry presses tightly against his back and Niall’s breath stutters when he feels Harry’s hard cock rub against his arse.

           Harry starts kissing down along Niall’s neck.

           “I’ve wanted to do this since the day we met,” Harry murmurs, his strokes on Niall’s cock slow and lazy. “You opened your mouth to sing and that sweet voice came out. I could have kissed it right off of your lips.”

           Niall whimpers as a blush creeps across his cheeks. Harry nips at his earlobe, finally stroking him faster. Niall bucks into his hand, hearing Harry inhale sharply behind him as it makes his arse rub against Harry’s swollen cock. It’s only a couple more minutes before Niall is spilling out into Harry’s hand as he gasps out his name. Harry strokes him through it, pressing soft kisses to his neck until Niall is finally finished. He wipes his soiled hand on the mattress before resting it back on Niall’s hip.

           Niall takes a moment to compose himself before rolling over. Harry’s propped up on his hand, smiling softly at him. Niall is starting to wonder if he somehow fell into an alternate universe because everything happening right now is almost too perfect. This gorgeous, wonderful man in front of him could have anyone and he’s naked in bed with Niall.

           Niall leans forward to kiss him and Harry readily accepts it. He wraps his hand around Harry’s cock, swallowing the moan it earns him from Harry. He decides not to tease him, pumping him steadily instead. He can tell Harry’s already close, his breathing erratic and his kisses sloppy. When he starts to shake, Niall pulls back enough to watch his face, the crinkle in his brow and the way his eyes are clenched shut. His mouth is open, lips kiss-swollen. His head tilts back slightly, a loud groan issuing from him as he spills into Niall’s hand. Niall wipes his hand on the sheet when he’s finished and watches as Harry’s breathing slowly returns to normal.

           Harry opens his eyes and smiles lazily.

“Now that’s the proper way to start a morning,” he murmurs.

Niall giggles and can’t help but lean in for a kiss that Harry easily responds to. It’s soft and innocent and Niall’s already in danger of wanting this to last forever.

When they finally manage to pull themselves out of bed, Niall has to resist the urge to cover himself. Harry has already been up close and personal with every inch of him and he’s obviously attracted to him, so Niall attempts to push back his nerves, despite the fact that Harry is an actual god.

They manage to shower together without too much messing about, exchanging quiet kisses as they wash. Afterwards, they have just enough time to dress and scarf down some toast before heading out. Niall is thrilled that he gets to borrow a sweater from Harry. It’s warm and cozy and smells like him.

On stage that night, Niall can’t help but watch Harry at every opportunity. He’s beautiful and graceful and his stage presence is simply magical. He’s so alive on stage, like he was made for it.

At the start of Dancing Through Life, Harry pulls him in closer than normal and Niall knows it’s not a mistake. He has to resist the urge to nestle into him, trying not to preen too much under the attention. Harry hangs onto Niall longer than he should, only pulling away as he extracts the notebook delicately from his fingers and tosses it back stage. Niall hates having to chase it away from him.

After the show, he changes quickly before seeking Harry out, knocking at his door.

“Come in!” Harry calls out.

Niall enters and shuts the door behind himself. Harry grins at him in the mirror, shirtless and still removing his makeup. Niall allows his gaze to wander since he’s pretty sure it’s okay for him to now. He tries not to think about how he knows exactly what Harry’s hiding in those jeans. They’ll never make it out of the theater.

When he finally meets Harry’s gaze again, Harry’s eyebrow is arched, smirk on his lips. Niall blushes and shrugs a bit. Harry just chuckles and finishes up, tugging on his sweater, much to Niall’s dismay, though Harry soon makes up for it by walking over to give him a kiss.

“Mm,” Harry hums, sliding his arms around Niall’s waist. “I’ve been wanting to do that all night.”

Niall slips his arms around Harry’s neck. “I wanted to rewrite Wicked, to be honest. Fucking hate watching you kiss the girls. Boq and Fiyero should end up together,” he grumbles.

Harry snorts at that, rewarding Niall with another kiss. “If it helps any, you’re the best kisser,” he murmurs. “And the only one I want to be kissing.”

Niall laughs. “I still think we need to rewrite Wicked. The girls are crazy. Boq and Fiyero just need to escape the magic insanity and live happily ever after.”

“Made of tin… and straw,” Harry says, eyebrow arched.

Niall snickers. “Ok. They need to make their grand escape before that happens, obviously.”

Harry giggles and kisses Niall again. Niall allows himself to sink into it, enjoying how easy it is to be with Harry. He doesn’t want to let himself get used to this, but he very much is.

Harry finally pulls back slowly. “As much as I would love to keep doing this, we should head out before Paul comes looking for us again.”

Niall blushes and groans. “Probably a good idea, yeah.”

“Did you want to come back to my place again?” Harry asks.

Niall sighs, looking around before looking back at Harry. “I’d love to, but I should probably make an appearance at the bar. I haven’t talked to anyone else since before… well before I dropped off the face of the earth.”

“Oh,” Harry says, frowning a little. “Right. Well… after then?”

Niall finally looks at him and nods. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

Harry takes Niall’s chin between his fingers, tilting his head up for another brief kiss before finally pulling away to collect his things.

For the second night in a row, they tackle the stage door together and the fans seem to love every second of it. Some even ask for photos of just the two of them together and Niall tries to be as casual about it as possible, tries not to lean into Harry too much each time they wrap their arms around each other.

When they make it to the bar, Niall can tell the second the group notices him because the conversation dies instantly. They all stare blankly at Niall until Louis finally breaks the silence, because of course it would be him.

“So you’re not dead, then,” he mutters.

“No,” Niall says with a sigh.

“Nice of you to let us know that,” Louis continues.

“Hey,” Liam breaks in. “I’m sure he’s got a perfectly good reason for it, don’t you, Nialler?” He looks up at Niall expectantly.

Niall scrubs a hand through his hair. He looks over at Harry. At this point, the whole thing is kind of his secret too, since he’s responsible for Niall’s absence yesterday. Sort of. It’s really the only part of the secret that Niall is willing to share, anyway. No one in the group knows about Bressie and only Liam and Louis have a vague idea of the sort of person Greg is.

Harry shrugs a bit and motions to the group as if to give Niall the go ahead. Niall finally takes a seat and Harry sits beside him, resting a hand on Niall’s knee. Niall doesn’t miss the way a few gazes follow the gesture.

“An article came out,” Niall says. “Bout me and Harry. Said some things. Implied we were… together.” He swallows hard before continuing. “I freaked out.” Harry squeezes his knee and he feels both comforted and guilty because Harry doesn’t even know the full story. He just doesn’t know how to tell him, doesn’t know if he even wants to. He’d prefer it to stay deep down in the hellish depths he buried it in.

Everyone exchanges glances. Niall can tell they’re not pleased with his explanation, or lack thereof.

He sighs and buries his face in his hands for a moment, swallowing past the lump forming in his throat. He just wants this to be over already. The only thing he hates more than his friends being angry with him is having to keep thinking about all of this. He decides to get as close to the truth as possible without saying too much and he finally looks at them again.

“People said some… not very nice things. The internet dragged up a picture of my ex that brought back some memories. It was a lot to deal with at once. I wasn’t prepared for it. I didn’t mean to disappear. I just needed some time to myself… to sort through some things.”

“For two fucking days?” Louis snorts. “Without a word? And that one,” he says, motioning to Harry. “Nearly had a panic attack when you didn’t respond to his thousand and one calls.”

Niall feels his chest tighten painfully. It hurts to breathe. His eyes flick around the group, but he doesn’t really see their faces. Just their eyes, staring at him, judging him.

“I-I’m sorry… I didn’t mean… I just…” he swallows, breath catching in his throat. Almost instinctively, his hand drops down to clutch at the hand Harry still has on his knee. Harry turns his palm over, sliding their fingers together, and Niall focuses on the warmth of his palm to ground himself. He counts to ten.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, when he’s sure his voice won’t shake. “I’m not used to that kind of attention. I-I panicked.” It sounds lame even to his own ears. He can tell his friends don’t really seem to buy it, but he doesn’t know what else to say. He can’t say anything else without saying far too much. He’s already said far more than he intended to.

Finally, Perrie is the one to speak up from beside him. Beautiful, gentle, wonderful Perrie. “It’s okay, Niall,” she says, resting a hand on his shoulder. “We were just worried about you.”

“Yeah,” Liam chimes in. “Louis texted Andrew though so… ya know… at least we knew you weren’t dead.” He smiles slightly and Niall can tell it’s his poor attempt to lighten the mood. He appreciates it.

Niall nods a bit. “It won’t happen again. Promise. I just didn’t expect something like this would ever happen to me.” He feels Harry squeeze his hand and somehow, he just knows it’s his apology for his fame being the cause of everything. Niall squeezes his hand back, accepting it.

“Alright,” Michael says, finally breaking through the tension. “I’m not drunk enough for this emotional shit.” He stands up. “Neither are you, Niall,” he says, looking down at him. “What are you having?”

Niall breathes out a laugh. “Whiskey and coke.”

“Right,” Michael nods and heads off to the bar.

Niall breathes in deeply, looking over at Harry. It’s hard to read the look in his eyes in the dim bar, but his brow seems knit together, whether in question or concern, Niall can’t decipher. He finds himself wishing he’d just taken Harry up on his offer to go back to his place straight from the theater.

 

Niall is far too drunk. His head lolls onto Harry’s shoulder and he’s giggling but he can’t really remember why. It could be over nothing for all he knows.

He feels Harry’s arm come up to wrap around him, holding him steady as his body wobbles, threatening to spill off the couch and onto the floor.

“We should get you home,” Harry murmurs.

Niall blinks, pushing past the murkiness swimming through his brain. “Mm… home with you?” he asks, looking up at Harry with a grin.

Harry chuckles softly. “It may be for the best if we get you back to your place. Do you remember where you live?”

“If I say no, can I come home with you?” Niall giggles again, nuzzling his head against Harry’s shoulder.

“I tell you what… if you let me get you home safely, we can stay at your place instead. How’s that?” Harry says, carding his fingers through Niall’s hair.

Niall grins. “Okay!” He attempts to pull himself up, but he feels wobbly and plops right back down onto the couch.

Harry just chuckles again and stands first before scooping Niall up. Niall leans heavily into his side. Harry is warm and soft and comfy and Niall could fall asleep standing up just like this.

“I’m gonna get this one home safely,” he hears Harry tell the group. “I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

There’s a chorus of goodbyes and goodnights and then Harry is steering him towards the stairs. It’s slow going. They take it one step at a time and Harry saves him from taking a tumble more than once. As they reach the exit though, Harry prods him gently.

“You’ve gotta stand on your own two feet for a bit, Niall. We’re about to get outside. You don’t want to be papped like this. I’ll get us a cab so you don’t have to make it to the subway though, okay?”

Niall sighs. “Okay,” he says, because in the back of his mind where a tiny bit of logic still resides, he knows what Harry’s saying at least sounds right. He lifts his head from Harry’s shoulder, removing his arm from Harry’s waist.

Harry opens the door and Niall shuffles out, trying to keep his head up. He blinks blearily at the onslaught of lights and sounds, squinting a bit and wishing he could run back into the cover of darkness that the bar provided. His head is starting to pound and his stomach is churning. Not good.

He sees Harry move to stand by the side of the road, watching the flow of traffic rushing past. There’s a few cabs in the mix, but none with their service lights on. Niall clutches at his stomach, trying to regulate his breathing. He moves to lean against the wall and shut his eyes, head spinning. He takes a deep breath, but it’s no use. He doubles over and throws up all over the sidewalk. He barely registers the groans and grumbles of passersby as he tries to keep himself from throwing up again.

“Niall, I’ve got…” He hears Harry start and trail off. “Oh, Niall…”

He forces his eyes open and looks up as Harry approaches. He’s too sick to feel any kind of shame at the moment. There’s a cab on the curb waiting for them. He pulls himself upright as Harry’s hand rubs his back.

“You okay? You think you can keep it down until we get back to your place now?” Harry asks gently.

Niall isn’t sure, but he nods anyway.

The pair make their way to the cab. Harry opens the door and slides in first so Niall can drop heavily into the seat after him. He somehow manages to get the door shut and get himself buckled in.

Harry, thankfully, scoots to the middle seat and buckles in and Niall allows his head to fall against his shoulder once more.

He must fall asleep because he doesn’t remember the ride at all and the next thing he’s aware of is Harry gently nudging him awake.

He allows Harry to help him out of the car and up to the door. Niall picks through his mental fog until he remembers the building code and they get inside and to the lifts.

Niall drapes himself over Harry again, now that they’re in the comfort of his own building and the lobby’s blissfully empty. Harry wraps his arm around him.

“We’re almost there,” Harry murmurs, his voice low and soothing.

They take the lift to Niall’s floor and Harry digs the keys out of Niall’s backpack, getting the door unlocked while Niall leans against the wall for support. The apartment is dark when they enter. Niall’s not sure what time it is, but he assumes Andrew is still at work.

“Where’s your room?” Harry asks.

“Hall. Left.” Niall manages, allowing Harry to guide him there.

He falls heavily onto his bed and sinks into the warmth. He just registers Harry tugging off his shoes but the world is already starting to spin again and he soon passes out.

\-----

Niall wakes to the sound of his alarm the following morning. His head is throbbing and he groans softly, the sharp ringing of the alarm piercing into his skull. He slowly becomes aware of a warm weight on his chest and he opens his eyes to find Harry’s head resting there, arm draped over Niall’s waist. At some point, Harry must have undressed them both because they’re down to their pants at the moment. Niall doesn’t remember that happening. He swallows hard, thinking back to the night before. Harry really went above and beyond to get him here safely and take care of him.

Niall manages to extract himself from Harry’s arms to shut off his alarm, then shuffles to the bathroom to take care of business and wash the awful taste of the night before from his mouth. When he finally returns to the bedroom, Harry is sitting up in bed, duvet pooled around his waist. He’s rubbing at his eyes, hair sticking up in a hundred directions, but he smiles up at Niall when he enters.

“Feeling better?” Harry asks.

Niall sighs and sinks down on the edge of the bed. “Massive headache,” he mumbles.

Harry scoots over on the bed and wraps his arms around Niall from behind, pressing a kiss to his bare shoulder. Niall allows himself to sink back into him. Harry’s chest is sleep-warm and soft against his back.

“We’ll get you some water and aspirin. I’ll even make some eggy bread if we have time. You should get something in your stomach.”

“Mm. That sounds perfect,” Niall sighs.

“I could use a shower first though. How bout you?” Harry presses another kiss to his shoulder and fuck Niall is enjoying this far more than he has any right to, this gentle, perfect Harry taking care of him.

“I’d like that,” Niall says.

They finally stand and Niall pauses for a moment, pulling Harry in to kiss him. It’s slow and lazy and despite the fact that they’re both in nothing but their pants, there’s something innocent about it.

Harry’s grinning when he pulls back and Niall chuckles softly. Even though he’s pretty sure he’s never had a hangover this bad in his life, he can’t help but think there’s no better way to spend a morning.

They get showered and Niall feels at least a smidge more human when they’re all clean. He lets Harry borrow one of his sweaters this time and it’s a bit small, stretching slightly over Harry’s broad shoulders, but somehow he still manages to look like a supermodel.

Niall chugs down a glass of water with a couple of aspirin before sitting at the counter with his second glass.

Andrew wanders in while Harry is hard at work at the stove. He pauses in the doorway for a moment, then chuckles.

“I thought I smelled something cooking. Knew it couldn’t be Nialler,” he says.

Harry looks up and grins. “I’m making eggy bread. I can make some for you if you’d like.”

“That’d be brilliant. Thanks.” Andrew says, shuffling over to take a seat beside Niall at the counter as Harry turns back to his cooking.

Andrew smirks at Niall. “Things are going well, I take it,” he murmurs.

Niall just blushes deeply in response.

 

It’s not Niall’s best show ever, but it’s certainly not his worst and for that, he’s immensely grateful. He’s honestly not sure he would have survived if Harry hadn’t taken care of him and he knows he owes him immensely.

After the show, he seeks Harry out and they go out together to greet the fans. It’s still light out, which Niall loves. On Sundays, they only have a matinee show, which means the rest of the evening and night are theirs. This Sunday, Andrew has a show down in Tribeca and Niall’s thrilled. He doesn’t get to go to very many of his shows since he’s usually working and it’s rare for Andrew to bother with Sunday or Monday gigs.

When they arrive at the pub, most of the group is already there, including a few of Andrew’s mates. It’s actually pretty crowded for such a small joint, which bodes well for Andrew’s chances of getting to perform there again.

They find the rest of the group, already in ownership for a large booth and a few tables. Lauren scoots over and Niall sinks down beside her, Harry immediately scrunching down in the tiny space left beside him. Niall grins over at him and Harry grins back. Niall finds himself wishing he could kiss it right off his face and quickly banishes the thought. He’s surprised at the endless rush of affection he feels towards the man beside him and he has to turn away to address the group so he doesn’t do something foolish.

“Thanks for coming out, guys. I know Andrew appreciates it as well,” he says.

“Ah, you know we wouldn’t miss it for the world, Nialler,” Michael says.

“Besides, his music is sick. I’m always down for a show,” Louis adds.

Niall beams. Sometimes, his friends can be pretty great.

“You make it home okay last night?” Lauren asks.

Niall winces slightly. “Yeah. Harry made sure I got home.” He notices Louis and Liam exchange a glance and a snicker and decides to ignore it. “Had a wicked hangover though. Could have done without that.”

“It’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you drink like that, mate,” Liam says. “I’m amazed you’re even functioning today.”

Niall breathes out a laugh, looking down at the table. “To be honest, I think I’m a little traumatized. Not sure I’ll be drinking much tonight.” He feels Harry pat his leg under the table and he glances over at him. Harry, however, is keeping a perfect poker face, so Niall does as well.

“Well, now that you guys are here, I can finally share my gossip,” Eleanor speaks up, waiting until all eyes are on her before continuing. “I have this friend who works on Kinky Boots and she said they’re in talks with Adam Lambert to be the next Charlie.”

“Adam Lambert?” Perrie makes a face. “I mean… he’s great and all, but can you have a Charlie that’s more flamboyant and fabulous than Lola? I don’t think that’s going to work.”

Niall snorts. “We get Harry Styles and suddenly every show needs a flamboyant pop star of their own. I see how it is.” He looks over at Harry. “No offense.”

Harry chuckles. “None taken.”

“It’s been the thing to do.” Louis scoffs. “Show’s tanking? Bring in a big name. As if we can’t carry our own fucking shows. But some people only go for the names.”

“Luckily, Cats is such an ensemble that it’s not really a big draw for that sort of thing. It can stand on its own two legs,” Calum says.

“Four legs,” Michael chimes in, sending him and Calum into giggles.

“I don’t know…” Niall says, looking to Harry, who is taking in the conversation with a furrowed brow and an otherwise blank expression. “While I think Adam Lambert is a weird choice and I would have agreed with you all on the name thing before, I kind of like the vibe Harry’s brought.” Harry looks at him then, eyes wide and curious, so Niall continues. “He’s brought an audience we wouldn’t have had otherwise and he’s brought his own liveliness to the show. He’s revived something in it… or maybe brought something new entirely. Either way, it’s the most enthusiastic audience we’ve had in my time with the show and that can only bode well for the production. I’ve spoken to plenty of fans who’ve said it’s their new favorite musical or it’s the first time they’ve ever seen anything on Broadway. It’s a good way to introduce people who might not get exposure otherwise, you know?”

Harry’s positively beaming at him when he’s done and Niall feels his cheeks warming with his blush.

“You really mean that?” he asks quietly.

“I do, yeah,” Niall says.

He feels Harry squeeze his leg under the table.

“That’s fair,” Louis says, drawing their gazes back to him. “But I still think Adam Lambert is a shit idea for Charlie.”

Niall can’t help but laugh with the rest of the table.

It’s then that the lights go down and they cheer louder than anyone else as Andrew emerges with his band. Harry’s hand finds a permanent place on Niall’s thigh as Andrew steps up to the mic stand.

“Hello,” Andrew says. “I’m Hozier. Thank you all for coming this evening.” The table cheers loudly for him again and Andrew laughs. “Don’t mind those drunks. I don’t know them.”

“I’m changing the locks!” Niall shouts and Andrew giggles into the mic before continuing to speak.

When the band launches into the first song, Niall lets his hand drop down, fingers twining with Harry’s. He grins when Harry gives his hand a small squeeze.

 

Harry pins Niall to the door the second they’re safely enclosed in Harry’s apartment. Niall moans softly as Harry captures his lips, starting a slow grind against him that has Niall’s cock very interested.

“Fuck…” Harry murmurs against his lips. “I’ve wanted to do this all night.”

Niall laughs softly. “Good thing you didn’t. We would have stolen Andrew’s show.”

“Cheeky,” Harry says with a giggle, causing Niall to giggle as well. Harry kisses it right off his lips and Niall sighs into it.

They manage to wiggle out of their jackets and toe off their shoes before Harry takes Niall’s hand and leads him back to the bedroom.

Niall finds himself pinned to another door with Harry kissing and nipping at his neck.

“If this were my apartment, I’d blow you against the door, but it’s bad enough that we’re defiling Ed’s bed. I’m already going to have to buy him a whole new bedspread.”

Niall cards his fingers through Harry’s hair. “We can save door blowjobs for my apartment then.”

“Ooh!” Harry lifts his head, smirking at him. “Is that a promise?”

Niall arches an eyebrow. “Why would I say no to something that gets me a blowjob?”

Harry laughs, kissing him again as he links their fingers together. He pulls back, pulling Niall with him towards the bed.

If Niall had a hard time believing it happened once, it’s even more surreal that it’s happening again. The thing is, it’s almost harder for him now that Harry is just Harry. There is a real, living, breathing person that Niall is mad for who just so happens to be mad for him as well.

Harry falls back on the bed and for a moment, Niall just gazes at him, spread out, still fully clothed. He’s looking up at Niall, green eyes wide, pink lips curled into a smile that is both gentle and inviting. Niall climbs onto the bed and straddles him, gazing down at him. He strokes his fingers over Harry’s cheek and watches as Harry’s eyelashes flutter, head tilting into the touch.

Niall swoops down to kiss him, a surge of affection bursting in his chest. They shed their clothes quickly and Niall falls back easily when Harry switches their positions. Dark curls spill over Harry’s forehead and Niall decides this is the view he wants when he comes, Harry’s wonderful, perfect face. As Harry starts to kiss down his neck, Niall tilts his head to murmur in his ear.

“Rub against me,” Niall says. “I want to see you when I come.”

Harry moans against his neck which sends a shiver down Niall’s spine. Harry shifts his hips and Niall gasps the moment their cocks align, already slick with precome. The sensation only gets better when Harry reaches down between them, wrapping a hand around their cocks.

Niall’s breath catches and he can tell Harry’s does too because it takes him a second to start moving his hand. He starts a slow grind against Niall at first, keeping a rhythm with his hand. His eyes meet Niall’s and Niall manages a shaky smile that Harry matches.

Harry leans down to kiss him, messy and wonderful. Niall struggles to breathe, but all he wants is more. Harry seems to feel the same because he picks up the pace against him and it’s not long before Niall is shaking, fighting off his orgasm until the last possible second.

“Let go,” Harry murmurs, pulling back to gaze down at him.

He’s sweaty now, curls matted to his forehead, cheeks flushed, pupils blown. He’s never looked more beautiful.

Niall thrusts into his hand once, twice more and finally cries out as he comes, spilling onto his own stomach and Harry’s hand. He’s breathing heavily but instead of relaxing, he watches as Harry throws his head back, continuing to move against Niall until he’s adding to the mess between them.

Harry’s arms shake and he collapses on top of Niall, spent. Niall wraps his arms around him, holding him close. Harry buries his face in his neck and Niall presses a kiss to his damp curls, feeling Harry’s responding kiss to his neck.

When Niall has the fleeting thought that he could get used to this feeling, he does his best to banish it quickly.

 

Monday morning dawns with a warm weight on Niall’s chest. He opens his eyes to find Harry still half draped over him. He grins and runs his fingers through Harry’s hair until Harry snuffles softly, eyes peeking open. He tilts his head up just enough to look at Niall and gives him a lazy smile.

“Good morning,” he murmurs, voice sleep-rough.

“Good morning,” Niall replies. “Sleep well?”

“Mm. Very,” Harry pulls himself up a bit more to press a kiss to Niall’s lips. “Did you?”

“Very.” Niall grins and watches as the smile grows on Harry’s face. Harry’s so close, Niall could count his eye lashes.

“You know,” he finds himself saying. “Your eyes have a bit of dark green around the middle.”

Harry laughs softly. “Your eyes have a bit of light green around the middle.”

Niall reaches up to brush his fingers through Harry’s hair again and Harry sighs in contentment, shutting his eyes.

“Got any plans for today?” Niall asks.

“Nope. You?” “Nope.”

“We should do something.”

Niall feels his heart rate pick up. A proper outing alone for the first time since they started sleeping together.

“We should,” he says, swallowing hard.

Harry scrunches his nose, seeming to think for a moment before speaking. “But first, we should shower,” he says, popping out of bed and scurrying off to the bathroom, leaving Niall no choice but to laugh and follow.

When they’re clean, Harry makes them breakfast and plays around on his phone while they eat, brow furrowed in concentration. Niall is content to sit quietly, messing about on his own phone. He’s finally deleted the awful messages from Bressie and blocked him, so he’s free to scroll through Twitter, though he’s shut off his notifcations, is careful to avoid his mentions, and doesn’t really have a desire to post anything anytime soon.

“Okay,” Harry finally speaks as they’re finishing up. “It’s a nice day out, so we can walk the Brooklyn Heights Promenade or the Chelsea High Line. We can wander Central Park again or head down to the Statue of Liberty. There’s also various movies at artsy theaters or some arcades or even Coney Island. I found other stuff too but it’ll require more planning.”

“Have you ever been to Brooklyn?” Niall asks.

Harry shakes his head.

Niall laughs. “Trust me, you’ll love it. We’ll walk the promenade and the Brooklyn Bridge on the way back. They’re better at night anyway.”

Harry grins. “Sounds like a plan.”

Niall really can’t be blamed for leaning in then and kissing Harry until the smile slips away. It’s not his fault Harry’s always so kissable.

 

It’s a nice enough day out that their sweaters will suffice and Niall tilts his head up into the breeze and the sunshine as they leave Harry’s building.

“I love spring,” he finds himself saying. “It always feels like a fresh start.”

Harry chuckles softly. “I like spring too. I like all the colors of the flowers and all the animals coming back.”

Niall laughs and nudges Harry with his shoulder. “You’re cute, you know that?”

Harry grins and nudges him back. “You’re cute too, you know that?”

Niall giggles as they continue down the sidewalk, shoulders hunched together. Their hands brush occasionally and Niall finds himself wishing he could take his hand. From the simple fact that Harry doesn’t move away until they reach the subway station, he thinks Harry might just feel the same.

When they arrive in Brooklyn, Harry looks around with a wide grin. Niall had made sure to get them to the part of town where the buildings are older and some of the streets are still cobblestone. He watches as Harry looks both ways, then darts into the middle of the road, stopping by a set of old train tracks before squatting down and messing with his phone.

“Harry!” Niall calls out, laughing. “You can’t just have a photoshoot in the middle of the road.”

“You’ll warn me if there’s a car coming,” Harry says casually, which only makes Niall laugh harder.

Harry darts back only a moment later and proudly shows off his black and white photo of the street.

“I’ll post it later,” he says with a grin.

Niall giggles. “Of course you will.”

Harry nudges him and Niall nudges him back before they set off down the sidewalk, content to just wander and see where the day takes them. Niall has never really been that sort of person before or, rather, he’s never really had the chance to be. When he’d had someone to have these kinds of adventures with, they couldn’t out of fear of being discovered. Niall feels his stomach start to twist into knots just thinking about it. He’d wasted so much time on Bressie.

“Hey…” He feels a nudge to his shoulder and blinks rapidly, coming back to reality. He looks over to find Harry watching him carefully, worry creasing his brow.

“You okay? You looked a bit lost there for a second.”

Niall breathes out a laugh. “Yeah. Fine. Just… got lost in my head a bit.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Nah,” Niall says, waving a hand dismissively. “Today’s supposed to be relaxing, yeah? Don’t want to bring the mood down. I’m fine.”

Harry doesn’t seem convinced. “Alright…” he says.

“Really. Promise.” Niall says, smiling to try and be more convincing.

Harry frowns but doesn’t press further.

Harry’s mood eventually brightens again when they stumble across a used bookstore where he manages to find a first edition of a very strange erotica book that uses landscapes to describe women instead of body parts. He insists it’s weirdly poetic and reads passages of it to Niall on a bench by the water until they’re both laughing too hard for him to continue.

They also manage to find a cute coffee shop, a pizza place, a vintage thrift shop that they both go a tad too crazy in, and a hipster shop that Niall enjoys watching Harry enjoying, before the sun starts to set and they decide to head for the promenade.

It’s not a long walk to the bridge from the promenade, but they take their time and the view of the city with the sun setting behind it is a sight like no other, the sky painted with pink, orange, purple, and blue. When Harry leans on the railing to enjoy the view, Niall snaps a photo that feels far too intimate for Twitter before joining him.

“You know,” Harry says as Niall folds his arms on the railing beside him, their elbows touching. “It’s been awhile since I’ve just gotten to relax like this with someone. I just realized I haven’t been stopped at all today for a photo or an autograph. It’s nice. I felt normal for a change.” He smiles softly at Niall. “Thank you for doing this with me.”

“Course!” Niall says, trying not to let it show how much the words mean to him. “Anytime.”

“We should make this a thing… these Mondays.”

“I’d like that. Quite a lot, actually,” Niall says, swearing his heart beats so hard, Harry must be able to hear it.

“Really?” Harry seems almost timid now.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

“You might have better things to do.” He shrugs a bit, as if to brush it off.

“Better than this? Nahhhhh. Don’t think that’s possible,” Niall smiles nervously. “It’s nice. I’m seeing the city through new eyes again.”

Harry smiles, a blush starting to creep over his cheeks as Niall speaks. He looks around and leans a little closer to Niall, and for a beautiful, terrifying second, Niall thinks he might be trying to kiss him until he speaks, voice low.

“I really wish I could kiss you right now,” he says.

Niall sighs. “Yeah. I wish you could too.”

“I’m sorry I’m not… you know… out.” Harry says, looking down at the water. “Just prefer to keep some things to myself. It’s bad enough that people constantly speculate on if I’m dating all of my female friends. I’d rather not drag my male friends into the mix just yet. Some people are figuring it out, like the article you found, but… It doesn’t gain as much steam as it could.”

“It’s okay,” Niall says, wanting to steer the conversation as far from that article as possible. “I understand. Can’t be easy having your personal life poked and prodded all the time by people who don’t even know you.”

Harry laughs, but it’s tinged with bitterness. “It’s really not.” He looks over at Niall. “I’m out to everyone that matters though. Are you?”

Niall nods. “For a while now.”

“Your family okay with it?”

Niall really doesn’t want to get into it, so he swallows the truth before it can spill out. “Yeah,” he says. Guilt twists in his gut. Harry’s being so open, so vulnerable with him, but Niall just can’t. He can’t go back to that time in his life. Not now.

“That’s good. Mine are too.”

Niall nods a bit and for a moment, they just watch a boat pass by on the water until Harry sighs and pushes off the bar.

“Ready to head back?”

Niall nods and steps back from the railing.

“For what it’s worth,” Harry says as they head off, “I promise to kiss you a thousand times when we get back to make up for this.”

At that, Niall can’t help but laugh. “I’ll be counting.”

Harry’s grin is the most beautiful sight Niall has seen all day.

True to his promises, Harry gives Niall so many kisses, he ends up losing count, but not before posting the black and white photo to Twitter. Niall tries not to think too hard about him using the heart emoji as his caption.

\-----

On Tuesday, they don’t even bother going to the bar, they just hurry from the theater back to Niall’s to take advantage of the empty apartment.

Niall finds himself completely naked, up against his bedroom door as a fully-clothed Harry sucks him off. His hands are splayed over Niall’s hips, keeping him pinned to the door. Niall’s hands are tangled in Harry’s hair and he’s shaking with the effort not to fuck into Harry’s mouth. He knows Harry could probably take it, but there’s an interesting power dynamic going on right now and Niall’s reveling in it.

Harry drags his tongue along the underside of his cock as he pulls his head back, teasing his tongue over the head before swallowing Niall again. Niall lets out a gasp, knees buckling slightly, but Harry’s firm hands tighten against his waist, pressing him harder against the door. The wood is cool against Niall’s bare bum and he shivers.

He risks a glance down at Harry, watching his head bob, and he lets out a moan low in his throat. Harry peeks up at him through his dark lashes and Niall could swear he sees a smirk, even with his mouth full of Niall’s cock. The sheer cheekiness of it makes the delicious heat start to curl in Niall’s stomach.

“Harry… Gonna…” He stutters out, fingers tightening in Harry’s hair, which elicits a moan from Harry that vibrates down Niall’s length.

Harry swallows him again and Niall comes down his throat. The only thing keep him from collapsing is the tightness of Harry’s grip on him. His legs feel like jello.

Harry pulls off and stands, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He grins at Niall and leans into him, pinning Niall beneath him as he captures his lips in a heated kiss. Niall moans as he tangles their tongues together, tasting himself in Harry’s mouth. He can feel Harry’s erection pressing into him, the denim of his jeans rough against Niall’s sensitive skin.

He tugs up on Harry’s shirt and Harry peels it off, tossing it aside as Niall’s hands start working on his jeans. Niall wants to feel Harry’s warm skin all over him, surrounding him.

He shoves Harry’s jeans off, bringing his pants down with them and Harry kicks them aside before pressing the length of his body firmly against Niall’s. Niall moans loudly and Harry starts grinding into him.

Harry grabs Niall’s hands, pinning them to the door above his head, holding them in place by his wrists and Niall’s breath catches. Harry is so insanely hot like this, taking dominance over Niall, taking what he wants from him. At this moment, Niall would give him anything.

Harry fucks against him until he’s shaking and he finally freezes, coming with his cock trapped between them. It gets on their stomachs and some even drips onto the floor, but Niall can’t bring himself to care. Harry’s grip loosens on his wrists so Niall breaks free to wrap his arms tightly around him, feeling Harry’s arms fall loosely around his waist. Harry buries his face in Niall’s neck and Niall brushes one hand through his hair, the other moving slowly over his back.

“Fuck…” Harry finally says. “I knew a door blowjob was a brilliant idea.”

Niall giggles. “If you do say so yourself.”

Harry swats playfully at Niall’s bum before resting his hand there. Niall enjoys the casual possessiveness of it.

Harry lifts his head to look at him. “You saying you didn’t enjoy yourself then?” he asks, smirk on his lips.

“On the contrary… I think this might just be our best sexcapade yet.”

Harry giggles. “I’m glad we can agree on that.”

He kisses Niall then, soft and sweet, and one day, Niall may just need to tell him that his post-coital kisses are Niall’s favorite thing in the world. Despite being naked and covered in come, Harry is always so tender and innocent afterwards. Niall almost enjoys these moments more than the actual sexcapades. Almost.

\-----

They spend the rest of the week switching back and forth between their apartments. Niall thinks he should probably be sick of Harry by now, but he can’t seem to get enough of him. Sometimes, when they’re on stage together, Niall swears the audience must see cartoon hearts popping from his eyes. He knows it’s bad, but he can’t help the fondness that courses through him whenever Harry is near. It’s a dangerous path he’s walking and he refuses to let himself think about the fact that they’re nearly halfway through Harry’s run in Wicked. He refuses to think about the loneliness waiting for him on the other side. Sometimes, he wonders if he should ask Harry what comes next, but the last time he asked that question, well… New York was what came next. He’s not really sure where he’d run to if New York fails him.

On Sunday, Harry’s mum and sister fly into town. Harry’s been giddy with anticipation all week and he’s a ball of nerves backstage before the show. He hadn’t had time to see them beforehand, since the flight had gotten in after the boys had already needed to be at the theater and Anne and Gemma had had to drop off their bags at the hotel. They’ve got front row seats though, which actually makes Niall nervous the more he thinks about it. They’ll be right there in front of him, where he can see them easily from the stage, for the whole show. He’s never met a partner’s family before. It’s a bit daunting.

During the first number, Niall keeps sneaking peeks down at the audience until he spots them. Gemma has a small smirk on her lips, probably at the ridiculousness of her brother’s costume, since her eyes are currently trained on Harry. Anne is grinning broadly. Niall looks over at Harry in time to see him sneak a wave that Anne and Gemma return. Harry is positively glowing.

Niall tries his best not to be so heart-eyed with Harry on stage. The last thing he wants is to make things weird. Still, when Harry tugs him close during Dancing Through Life, Niall can’t help it when his eyes find Anne and Gemma again. He nearly faints dead away when he meets Anne’s gaze. Anne winks at him and Niall knows she must at least have a little bit of an idea of what’s going on between him and Harry.

Niall sort of ends up on autopilot after that. He feels like he blinks and misses the rest of the show.

When it’s over, he changes and meets Harry in his dressing room.

Harry pulls him close and gives him a kiss that Niall very happily accepts.

“Mum and Gemma are meeting us at the restaurant,” Harry says. “We decided it was best if they sneak out now in the middle of the crowd instead of trying to get them past all the fans.”

“Probably for the best. Then, they don’t have to wait around for us while we stage door.”

Harry nods. “Exactly.” He kisses Niall again and Niall revels in the easy affection between them. “Are you ready to head out?”

Niall nods and Harry gives him a squeeze before letting go.

They go out to greet the fans and if Harry is a little quicker through the line this time, Niall really can’t blame him.

They take a cab to the restaurant as a precaution. They’ve never been followed from the theater before, but they might as well not tempt fate tonight.

The restaurant is a small, hole-in-the-wall Korean barbeque place. Anne and Gemma already have a table tucked in the corner. The whole place is small and dimly lit, with pop music blasting over the speakers. Niall can see why they chose it. It actually provides them a decent amount of privacy.

Anne and Gemma stand when they see the boys and Harry hugs them both tightly before turning to Niall.

“Niall, this is my mum, Anne and my sister, Gemma. Mum, Gem, this is my-- Niall.” Harry coughs awkwardly to try and cover his slip. Niall doesn’t miss the way Anne’s smile widens or the snicker Gemma fails spectacularly at trying to hide in her palm.

“Niall, it’s lovely to finally meet you,” Anne says, reaching out to shake his hand. “Harry’s told us so much about you.”

Niall blushes as he shakes her hand, hoping it’s too dark for her to notice. “Pleasure’s all mine,” he says.

Gemma shakes his hand next. “Nice to finally put a face to all my brother’s ramblings.”

“Heeeeeeey!” Harry drawls out. Niall looks over at him, but Harry can’t seem to meet his gaze at the moment.

The four of them finally take their seats, Anne and Gemma in the booth and Harry and Niall in the chairs across from them.

They take some time to peruse the menus and place their orders once the server arrives. When he leaves, they relax in their seats.

“Was the trip okay? Hotel nice?” Harry asks.

“Everything was wonderful, dear, thank you.” Anne says, resting her hand on her son’s on the tabletop.

Harry nods a bit. Anne rubs her thumb over the back of his hand briefly before placing her hand back in her lap and turning to Niall.

“So, Niall… How’d you end up in New York of all places?” she asks.

“Just… chasing a dream, really,” Niall says with a shrug, trying to brush it off.

“To be on Broadway?”

Niall nods.

Anne beams. “Well, you have a lovely voice. You’ve definitely earned your place.”

Niall blushes deeply. “Thank you.”

“Harry was so nervous about his first show, you know. Had to facetime me and everything. But your little note on his mirror just cheered him right up.”

“Muuuuuuum,” Harry groans.

“What? It’s true!” Anne says innocently, though the twinkle in her eye is knowing.

“Gemma, how’s the writing going?” Harry blurts, clearly trying to take the focus off of himself.

Gemma snorts. “Going well, brother dear, but you already know this.”

“What sort of writing do you do?” Niall asks, grasping at an out for himself as well.

Gemma turns to him. “Freelance, mostly. I shuffle pieces around here and there. Occasionally, people will reach out and offer me something, but mostly, I write what I want and hope for the best. Articles and reflections on life and such. Whatever I’m in the mood for.”

“Harry says you’re in London now?”

“Yup.”

“Cool. I lived there while I was in school. Good city.”

“Where’d you go?”

“Er… LAMDA,” Niall says, dropping his gaze to the table.

“WHAT?!” Harry bursts out from beside him and… oops.

Niall looks over at him. “What?”

“You said you went to school in London. You never told me it was bloody LAMDA,” Harry says, brow furrowed in disbelief.

Niall shrugs. “It didn’t seem important.”

“You went to one of the most prestigious schools for the arts in the country… in the world, probably, and it ‘didn’t seem that important’?”

Niall shrugs. He’s not really sure what to say, honestly. He’s not sure why he mentioned it now. He hates thinking about it, hates all the memories it drags up with it.

He realizes Harry’s still waiting for an answer.

“I don’t really like to brag.”

Harry just continues to gaze at him as if Niall has suddenly grown another head.

Luckily, the server breaks through the tension with their food. It still takes Harry a moment to look away and when he does, he sighs softly.

Eventually, conversation resumes normally and Niall finds that he genuinely likes Anne and Gemma. He can certainly see how Harry is as sweet and wonderful as he is. He’s pleasantly surprised when they both leave him with hugs at the end of the night.

He and Harry head back uptown to Harry’s place. Niall can tell there’s a talk looming that he’s not ready to have and sure enough, as soon as they’re safely back at the apartment and situated on the couch, Harry speaks.

“Why didn’t you tell me you went to LAMDA?” He sounds hurt, staring down at his lap as he fidgets with his fingers.

Niall shrugs. “I didn’t really think about it.” Tried very hard not to think about it, more like.

Harry finally looks at him. “You don’t talk about London much.”

“Not much to say,” Niall says, swallowing hard. “Spent a few years there for school, came here straight after.”

“You could have stayed on the West End.”

“Told you… wanted to be at the start of everything,” Niall says, but he can tell Harry’s not buying it. “How were you going to finish your sentence?” he finds himself saying, deciding that the only way out of this conversation is with a distraction.

Harry frowns. “What sentence?”

“When you introduced me… as your Niall.”

It takes Harry a moment before his eyes widen just the slightest. “Just… friend or cast mate or something,” he mumbles, but Niall can tell it’s a lie from the blush creeping over his cheeks.

“I would have been okay with ‘boyfriend’.” Niall says, keeping their gazes locked.

Harry’s eyes are still wide and he blinks owlishly at Niall. Just when Niall starts to think he might have completely misinterpreted everything, Harry tackles him backwards onto the couch, pressing their lips together.

Niall moans softly, shifting so that he has one leg propped up on the couch, the other on the floor, allowing Harry to stretch out on top of him. He tangles one hand in Harry’s hair, pushing up into the kiss in a fight for dominance. He’s glad his distraction worked, even as he finds himself terrified that he is very likely in a relationship for the first time in three years.

His stomach clenches, breath shaking as he continues to kiss Harry. He wants to believe this is real, doesn’t want to think about what’s going to happen when Harry’s run in Wicked ends and he’s inevitably left behind.

He pulls Harry tighter against him, feels Harry’s erection pressing into his hip, his own cock hardening in response. He can focus on this. Here and now. Harry’s warm, wonderful body in his arms. He can enjoy his time with him while it lasts. Best not to mourn something that isn’t over yet.

He breaks the kiss, looking up at Harry. “I want you to fuck me,” he says with as much confidence as he can muster.

He hears Harry’s sharp intake of breath. “Yeah,” he breathes out. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Do you have the stuff?”

Harry nods. “In the bedroom.” He still doesn’t move, just gazing at Niall in a bit of a daze.

Niall arches an eyebrow. “Then I think we should take this to the bedroom.”

Harry blushes deeply. “Right. Yeah.” He scrambles off of Niall and stands. Niall pulls himself up, linking hands with him and leading him back to the bedroom.

Harry lets go of his hand to go to the bedside table, digging out a condom and lube, tossing them on the bed before gazing at Niall expectantly.

Niall meets his gaze, trying not to let his nerves get the best of him. He decides to go all-in and peels his shirt off, liking the way Harry’s eyes flick down to take in his bare torso. Before Harry can do anything, Niall flicks open the button on his jeans, pushing them down along with his briefs and stepping out of them, taking his socks with them. He stands naked before Harry, allowing Harry’s gaze to wander over him, then crawls onto the bed, rolling onto his back. He bends his knees up and looks over at Harry.

“Your turn,” he says, trying his best to smirk, to appear sure of himself.

Harry’s gaze roves over him one more time before he tugs his own clothes off and climbs on top of Niall.

Harry’s eyes are wide and vulnerable as he perches over Niall. “I-” he swallows, shaking his head, seeming to compose himself. Instead of trying to speak again, he just leans down to kiss Niall, slow and tender.

Niall buries a hand in Harry’s hair, the other clutching at his back. Harry reaches over blindly, fumbling for the lube. He breaks the kiss and sits back, settling between Niall’s legs. He coats his fingers in lube, rubbing them together to warm them up before lowering his hand between Niall’s legs. Niall watches his every move.

He feels Harry’s fingers press against his hole, his body tensing slightly.

Harry catches his gaze. “Are you sure this is okay?” he asks quietly.

Niall nods. “Yeah,” he breathes out. “Just… been a while.”

“For me too,” Harry says.

“Really?” Niall asks, brow furrowed.

Harry nods. “With a bloke, yeah. It’s hard to find someone I can trust enough to keep my secret.”

Niall swallows hard at the implication. Harry trusts him. Completely. Not only to have sex with him, but to not run off to the tabloids and out him. They only met three weeks ago.

“Fuck me. Please.” Niall breathes out, trying to banish the guilt already creeping into the back of his mind.

Harry slips his index finger in. Niall’s body clenches around it and he takes another deep breath and forces himself to relax. Harry starts pumping slowly, adding a second finger after a moment. Niall hisses a little and Harry pauses until Niall gives a nod for him to continue.

Harry leans down to kiss him then and Niall accepts it readily. When Harry’s fingers curl against his prostate, Niall groans into his mouth.

“Harry,” he whimpers, a shudder running through his whole body when Harry does it again.

“Another…” Niall manages to get out. “One more finger.”

Harry moans softly and carefully works another finger in. Niall gasps, wincing slightly. He’s tight, body no longer used to this sort of intrusion after so much time.

Harry stills his fingers, pressing soothing kisses over Niall’s face and neck. He tilts his head down to murmur in his ear.

“Relax,” he says. “I’ll take care of you.” He kisses Niall again, slow and gentle as if to emphasize his point as he starts moving his fingers again.

Niall whimpers into the kiss, focusing on it, and when Harry brushes his fingers over his prostate again, a burst of pleasure shoots through him.

“Harry… Fuck… I need you.”

“You sure?” Harry looks at him, brow furrowed.

“Yes. Do it. Please. I don’t know how much longer I can last.”

Harry nods and carefully eases his fingers out. Niall instantly feels empty.

Harry tears open the condom packet and eases the condom over his cock, lathering it with lube. He holds his cock steady in one hand, bracing himself against Niall’s leg with the other.

“Tell me if you need me to stop. I’ll go slow,” he says.

Niall feels the tip nudge at his opening and he can already tell it’s going to be rough. He clutches at the sheets, watching as Harry pushes into him as carefully as he can. His eyes clench shut as Harry presses in and it briefly feels like his body is on fire. Harry stops moving and Niall starts to open his eyes until Harry’s hand wraps around his length. Niall inhales sharply, eyes slipping closed, head tipping back. The heat in his arse is quickly forgotten for the one coiling in his stomach. He moans loudly.

Harry pushes into him until he’s buried in him, stroking him through it. He pauses again.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yeah. Fine,” Niall chokes out. “You can… You can move.”

Harry kisses him and Niall moans as he starts moving his hips, hand keeping up the pace on his cock.

Niall lifts his legs, wrapping them around Harry’s waist to give him a better angle.

Harry groans against Niall’s lips, hips picking up the pace. He shifts and Niall cries out as the movement causes his cock to hit Niall’s prostate just right. Harry gets the hint and braces himself, burying his face in Niall’s neck as he fucks into him, hitting his prostate with more purpose now. Niall can hardly take it, entire body shaking as he clings to Harry’s back, feeling his muscles shifting with each thrust. In moments, he’s spurting out between them. He’s a shivering, whimpering mess, but he’s too far gone to be embarrassed.

Harry changes the angle, moving faster until he’s spilling out into the condom with a loud moan.

He collapses on top of Niall in a sweaty, tangled heap and Niall gasps softly as the shift causes Harry’s cock to slip out of him. He feels far too empty. He clings to Harry, burying his face in Harry’s hair.

He trails his hand down Harry’s spine, feeling the shiver run through him before Harry relaxes again.

Niall feels tears prick at the corners of his eyes as he hugs Harry tighter. He shouldn’t have done this. He knows he shouldn’t have done this. He’s past the point of no return and all he wants is for this to happen over and over and over again.

He presses kisses into his hair, hands roving over his back, through his hair, memorizing the way it all feels, the smoothness of his skin, the softness of his hair, the warmth of their bodies pressed together. Niall’s legs are still wrapped around him and he’s having a hard time telling where Harry ends and he begins.

He’s never felt so whole in his life.

\-----

Niall wakes to an empty bed. His brow furrows and he finds his pants, slipping them on before padding out into the hallway. He follows the clanging of pots and pans and the greasy scent of bacon to the kitchen.

His eyes widen as he stands in the doorway, taking in the scene. Harry’s wearing nothing but his briefs and is currently spinning around the kitchen, taking care of various items on the stove was well as a waffle maker and a juicer. It takes him a moment to notice Niall and when he does, he frowns.

“Awwwww no!” he whines. “I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed.”

Niall swallows hard at the thoughtfulness. “I can promise you this is still a hell of a surprise.”

The waffle maker dings and Harry turns to it, pulling out a large, fluffy-looking waffle before filling the waffle maker with more batter. He checks on the bacon, sausage, and eggs on the stove before finally moving to Niall, placing his hands on his waist and kissing him softly.

Niall sinks into it, smiling into the kiss and feeling Harry’s lips quirk up in response.

“Good morning, boyfriend,” Harry murmurs.

Niall giggles. “Good morning, boyfriend.”

Harry kisses him again, then pulls away to go back to watching over the food. “Well… I can still bring you breakfast in bed if you’d like,” he says. “It’ll be done soon if you want to go get settled back in bed again.”

Niall grins. “That’s a brilliant idea,” he says, heading back into the bedroom.

He takes his time propping up pillows for both of them, then gets settled in, duvet tucked around his lap. He plays with his phone until Harry enters, carrying a tray and absolutely beaming.

He looks so proud of himself that Niall would probably tackle him to the ground and kiss the smile right off his face if he wasn’t carrying his breakfast. He tucks the thought away for when they’re done eating.

Harry sets the tray over Niall’s lap, kissing his forehead before pulling back.

Niall grins up at him. “It smells wonderful,” he says honestly.

“Tastes better,” Harry says with a wink before darting off.

He returns shortly with his own tray and settles in beside Niall, their shoulders pressed together. Niall finally takes a bite of his waffle and moans softly.

“You’re a really good cook,” he says.

Harry chuckles. “I’ve only ever made you breakfast. Breakfast is easy.”

Niall smirks. “I wouldn’t object to you making me dinner.”

Harry laughs. “I’ll do it on a Sunday or Monday soon then.”

“Don’t you dare forget.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it!”

Niall grins and kisses Harry’s cheek before returning his attention to his breakfast.

 

They meet Anne and Gemma later that afternoon at a bowling alley. Harry’s managed to find one with private rooms and he’s got one reserved for them. Considering the number of eyes following them as they head back to their room, it was a lucky find. They’ll be able to enjoy the day away from prying eyes.

The room has two lanes, the walls lined with rows of light blue neon lights, and instead of hard plastic chairs, there are plush leather couches. There’s a ball rack on the far wall and Harry immediately darts to it, grinning as he selects a hot pink and orange monstrosity that makes Niall laugh. Niall selects a swirly blue one that kind of reminds him of the ocean.

“We should do teams,” Harry says, looking to the others.

“I call Niall!” Gemma declares, surprising both Harry and Niall, who look at her, wide-eyed.

“What?” she says. “Harry’s rubbish at sports and Mum’s Mum. Besides,” she continues, slinging an arm over Niall’s shoulders. “I could use some bonding time with my little brother’s boy.”

Harry shoots a glare her way, seeming to asses her. Niall just laughs, wrapping his arm around Gemma.

“I guess that settles that then,” he says.

Harry pouts. “I wanted you on my team!”

“You snooze, you lose, bro!” Gemma says, finally letting go of Niall. “Come, Niall. Help me put the names into the computers.”

“Just a sec,” Niall says. Harry’s still pouting, so Niall moves to him to kiss it off his lips. When he pulls back, Harry’s smiling softly down at him.

Niall grins at him. “You’re going down,” he murmurs.

Harry giggles. “Bring it on.”

Niall gives him one more quick kiss before going to sit beside Gemma at the computers.

“What are your intentions with my brother?” she says, getting right to the point.

Niall breathes out a startled laugh. “Uh… well… he’s my boyfriend, but we haven’t really discussed anything beyond that yet.”

Gemma nods, fiddling with some of the settings on the computer. Niall starts doing the same with the one in front of him.

“Harry doesn’t date often and he really doesn’t date people who aren’t famous in their own right. His heart’s too big sometimes. It’s easy to take advantage of him. He told me you were a fan before…” Gemma glances over at him.

Niall’s eyes widen. “I was, but Gem, I would never…”

“I know,” Gemma says, cutting him off. “Just make sure Harry does too.”

“Of course,” Niall says, nodding.

“Good. Now…” Gemma’s smile turns wicked. “Let’s make his name something awful.”

Niall cackles.

In the end, the names they end up with are CHCKNLGS, RUMYMUMMY, SHMRCKPWR, and THEQUEEN.

“Chicken legs!” Harry bursts out when they finally put up the boards, sending Niall and Gemma into a fit of laughter.

“You’re one to talk with your skinny legs, Niall!” Harry continues.

“Hey!” Gemma manages between giggles. “What about my legs? Are you saying my legs aren’t skinny?”

Harry only narrows his eyes at the pair, which makes them laugh harder.

Niall and Gemma set it up so that Harry and Anne have the first lane and they’re on the second.

Harry’s up first and as he steps up, Niall and Gemma start clucking like chickens. Harry whips around, staring at them in disbelief.

“Really?” He says, eyebrow arched.

Niall and Gemma burst into giggles, which only makes Harry roll his eyes fondly, turning his attention back to his lane. He manages to knock over five pins.

Niall steps up to take his first turn while Harry’s waiting for the ball return. Three pins. He hears Harry laughing hysterically.

“Oi! You laugh like five is any good,” Niall says.

“It’s not,” Harry says. “But it’s better than three!”

“So glad to know I’m dating a maths genius,” Niall says, scrunching his nose and sticking his tongue out at him.

Harry giggles and steps up for his next turn. The ball veers far to the left and slips past the remaining pins.

Niall manages to knock down three more.

“Ha!” He laughs, taking a seat beside Harry on one of the couches. “In your face.”

It earns him another eye roll from Harry, but he chuckles and slips his arm around Niall anyway and Niall instinctively cuddles into him, feeling Harry press a kiss to the top of his head. His hand settles on Harry’s thigh and he sighs happily.

When Anne turns around from her lane, Niall doesn’t mean to catch her gaze. She smiles fondly at him, which makes Niall’s heart clench as he returns it shakily. Still, he finds himself almost comforted by the exchange. It warms something inside him to finally be able to show affection towards Harry in front of other people. It feels more real, somehow. Harry seems completely relaxed at the moment, content to just hold Niall. Niall thinks back to the night before, to being wrapped up in Harry, warm and safe. He lifts his head from Harry’s shoulder, remembering Gemma’s words.

He presses a kiss to Harry’s cheek, then murmurs in his ear.

“You’re something special, you know that?”

He watches the blush creep over Harry’s cheeks as Harry turns to look at him, smile shy.

“Where’d that come from?” Harry asks.

Niall shrugs. “Nowhere, really. Just… really really like you, is all.”

Harry laughs softly. “Well I really really like you too.”

Niall grins and kisses him before happily cuddling into him again.

 

Around the fifth frame, Harry and Niall are still neck-in-neck, though it doesn’t matter much since Gemma and Anne are beating them both.

“We should make things interesting,” Niall says as Harry picks up his ball to start the frame.

Harry arches an eyebrow. “How so?”

“Instead of bowling like normal, we should do something different for every frame… like this frame, you have to roll the ball from between your legs.”

Harry snorts and walks up to the lane and for a second, Niall doesn’t think he’s going to do it, but then, Harry turns around, spreads his legs, and sort of throws the ball between them and down the lane. Niall doubles over laughing, watching Harry watch the ball from the same position. It slowly scoots down the lane, falling off into the gutter and hitting absolutely nothing.

“My nan could have thrown better than that!” Niall says.

Harry rights himself and makes a face at him. Niall giggles and steps up for his own turn, shoving the ball as hard as he can. It manages to nick a pin on the end in the very back and it topples another pin over with it.

“Woo!” he shouts, throwing his hands up in the air.

Harry laughs at him and steps up for his second turn, bending over again. He shoves it a little harder this time, but that only sends it faster into the gutter. Niall howls with laughter at the disgruntled look on his face. He doesn’t get anything on his own second turn, but he’s thrilled when Anne and Gemma join in their little game.

Gemma comes up with the next idea. “Lie on your stomach and push the ball,” she says.

Niall and Gemma snicker as Harry fails yet again to hit anything and groans, rolling onto his back and sprawling out on the floor. Niall sneakily snaps a photo of him.

When he finishes his own pitiful attempt, Harry’s still spread out on the floor and he laughs.

“Get up, you mopey starfish. It’s your turn again,” he says.

Harry turns his head and scrunches his nose at him, laughing. Niall walks over and holds out his hands to help him up. Harry takes them and stands, kissing Niall swiftly before pulling away to grab his ball and bowl.

When they’ve all gone, Anne decides the next frame. “Stand on one foot,” she says.

Niall looks at her and bursts out laughing. “Stand on one foot? Have you met your own son?”

Anne and Gemma break into giggles.

“Heeeeeey,” Harry says with a pout. “What is this? Gang up on Harry day?”

Niall moves over to him and kisses him softly. “Yes,” he says simply.

“Hey!” Harry says again, but he’s laughing. He kisses Niall again, then pulls away. He grabs his ball and his brow furrows in intense concentration.

He balances on one foot, wobbling to the point that Niall steps closer, afraid he might actually have to catch him.

Harry brings his hand back, but when he goes to swing it forward and release the ball, the sudden shift in weight finally unbalances him. The ball drops to the floor with a bang, rolling halfway down the lane before stopping. Harry just saves himself from falling, windmilling his arms to regain his balance. He pouts at his lost ball.

Niall, Gemma, and Anne have a moment’s pause before they start laughing. Harry soon joins in.

“Do I need to go get the attendant?” Niall asks.

“Nooooo!” Harry shakes his head. “It’d be all over Twitter instantly. ‘Harry Styles sucks at bowling.’”

“At least they’d be spreading something true for once,” Gemma says.

“Ruuuuuuude!” Harry says.

Harry looks back at his lost ball and finally makes a run for it, starting the buzzer when he steps over the line. The others cover their ears and watch, laughing, as he retrieves his ball. Only, instead of turning back around once he has it, he keeps running for the pins, tossing his ball at the last second and sending all the pins flying. He finally runs back, arms in the air.

“Hey!” Niall shouts at the same time Gemma says, “Cheater!” but they’re laughing too hard for their objections to have any real weight behind them.

Harry starts some ridiculous dance that involves a lot of arm waving and hip wiggling.

“That’ll teach you to say I’m bad at bowling!” he says.

“But… you are bad at bowling,” Niall says. “That was totally an illegal move.”

“Says who?” Harry asks with a smirk, finally stopping his dance.

“Literally all the rules of bowling.”

Harry shrugs. “What are you going to do about it?”

Niall looks at him for a moment, then grabs his ball and makes a run for it.

“Hey! That’s cheating!” Harry shouts as Niall knocks all of his pins over.

Niall jogs back, grinning. “So it’s only cheating when I do it?”             “Yes.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Harry smirks. “But I’m your idiot.”

Niall laughs and kisses him. “On that, we can definitely agree.”

Harry beams and Niall rests his head on Harry’s shoulder, enjoying the way Harry’s hand moves in circles over his back, his head coming to rest on top of Niall’s. He hears a shutter sound and glances up to find Anne with her phone pointed at them.

“Muuuuuuuum!” Harry whines.

“Sorry,” she says, clearly anything but. “You boys just looked so cute.”

“I want a copy,” Niall says.”

Anne smiles softly. “I’ll message it to you on Twitter.”

Niall nods, then shuts his eyes, feeling Harry start to sway them gently back and forth. He could probably fall asleep just like this, perfectly content.

 

Anne sends the picture over Twitter DM as promised. Niall gets it as he’s curled up in bed, waiting for Harry to finish his nighttime routine, which he has come to learn is ridiculously long and complicated. He grins and saves the picture to his phone, sending Anne a quick thanks. He wishes he could save it has his background.

He’s scrolling through Instagram when he sees that Gemma has posted a picture of their bowling names with the caption _Guess whoooooo!_

He scrolls through the comments to see if anyone has figured it out and sure enough, people have determined that SHMRCKPWR is actually Niall and are currently going quite crazy over the fact that he spent the entire day with Harry’s family.

Niall chews on his lip and sets his phone aside, climbing out of bed and going to the bathroom, leaning in the doorway. Harry smiles at him in the mirror.

“Instagram has figured out I was with you lot today. Twitter probably has too,” Niall says.

Harry’s smile falters and he pauses his face cleansing ritual, turning to look at Niall.

“Does it bother you?”

Niall shrugs. “Just a bit weird, is all. I mean, s’pose it was obvious, since my name was Shamrock Power… but why do they care so much?”

It’s Harry’s turn to shrug. He turns back to finish washing his face.

“Don’t know, really,” he says. He splashes water on his face, drying it off with a cloth before moving to Niall. He wraps his arms around him and Niall slides easily into them.

Niall breathes out a laugh as he rests his head on Harry’s shoulder.

“At least they seem supportive. They’re pretty big fans of our relationship.”

“I’m a pretty big fan of our relationship,” Harry says, which gets a real laugh out of Niall.

“You better be,” Niall says, pinching his side.

Harry kisses his temple. “Let’s go to bed. I’ll show you what a big fan I am.”

Niall giggles mischievously, any insecurities he’d had over the comments instantly fading away as he loses himself in Harry.

\-----

The following morning, Harry leaves early to meet Anne and Gemma for breakfast. He’d invited Niall, but Niall begged off, deciding he should probably call Bobby, since it’s been a while. Plus, he didn’t really want to keep intruding on Harry’s time with his family. They’re only in town for a couple more days. Harry had insisted Niall stay at the apartment though, instead of heading back to his own place, since Harry’s is closer to the theater, so Niall settles on the couch to facetime his father.

Bobby accepts the call after a couple rings. He’s grinning when his face finally appears.

“Niall, my boy! Long time, no talk.”

“Yeah… Sorry about that. I’ve been busy lately.”

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah. Everything’s pretty great actually.”

Bobby’s brow furrows. “Where are you? That’s not your place, is it?”

“Nah. That’s… uh… part of why I called actually.” Niall scrubs a hand over the back of his neck. “Did Greg tell you… about the article?”

Bobby sighs. “He did, yeah.” He blinks at Niall then. “Wait a second....”

“I’m dating Harry Styles,” Niall blurts before he can lose his nerve.

“Come off it.”

Niall drops his gaze to his lap, chewing his lip before speaking. “I’m serious. We’ve been dating for a couple weeks now. I… I really like him, dad.”

There’s a pause and then his dad starts laughing. Niall’s gaze snaps up to his phone again, bewildered.

“Really like him, do you? That’s an understatement if I’ve ever heard one,” Bobby says, still chuckling. “You’re really dating him?”

“I am, yeah.”

“Well that’s a twist of fate, innit?”

Niall can feel himself blushing. “Yeah.”

“He treat you right?” Bobby says, growing serious then. “You’re not just some fuckboy on the side for him to play with while he’s in town?”

“No!” Niall says quickly. “He’s great. Really great. His.... uhm… his mum and sister are in town. We spent all day yesterday with them. They’re great too.”

Bobby nods, seeming to assess Niall for a moment. “Then, I’m happy for you, son,” he smirks. “Sounds like a dream come true.”

“Oh god!” Niall groans and buries his face in his hand, hearing his dad’s tinny laughter issuing from the phone.

 

Niall’s still on the couch in his pajamas when he hears Harry’s key in the door. He’s laid out, propped up slightly on pillows, one leg stretched down the length of the couch, the other bent up against the back. He turns his attention from the tv when Harry enters and he’s so glad he did. Harry pauses in the doorway, blinking at Niall for a moment before a soft smile creeps over his lips. Niall can’t help but return it.

“Hey,” Harry says quietly.

“Hey. How was breakfast?”

“Good.” Harry seems to think for a moment, then walks over to the couch, gently nudging Niall until he scoots over and makes enough room for Harry to squeeze into. It’s tight, but Niall wouldn’t dream of telling him no. Harry is half on top of him by the time he’s finished getting settled and Niall laughs softly, wrapping his arms around him. He can still smell the fresh air on him, a light, springy scent, and he nuzzles Harry’s neck.

“I called my dad,” he says.

“Mm?” Harry prompts, kissing Niall’s temple.

“Told him about you. He’s happy for us.”

Harry lifts his head and grins down at him. “Really?”

Niall nods. “Mmhmm.”

Harry kisses him softly. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Niall asks, brow furrowed.

“Telling him about us.” He grins. “Must have been good things if he’s happy for us.”

Niall laughs softly. “Yeah. All good things.”

Harry’s smile then is blinding. He nestles impossibly closer to Niall and Niall holds him tight. Dream come true, indeed.

\-----

Anne and Gemma leave a couple days later, which leaves Niall with a mopey Harry to give lots of hugs and cuddles to. Niall hadn’t been able to see them off at the airport, for obvious reasons, but he’d added them both on every form of social media possible with the promise to keep in touch. It makes something warm curl in Niall’s stomach just thinking about it. It only takes Gemma two days to start bored-messaging him stupid memes on Facebook. Her sense of humor is so similar to Harry’s, Niall sometimes laughs for that reason alone.

One Sunday, Louis’s having a huge party, though he’s refusing to tell anyone why and vehemently insists that they are all required to be there. Nearly everyone they even remotely know is going to be there and Niall hates to admit that he’s intrigued by whatever the hell Louis is planning.

Harry and Niall decide it’s cheaper and easier to split an uber with the girls to get from the theater to Louis’s. Niall, Harry, and Taylor end up squeezed in the back of the large SUV, while Demi and Selena take the two middle seats.

“Harry, you must be so bored of our quaint little parties,” Taylor says, batting her eyelashes at him. “I bet they’re nothing compared to the grand, star-studded soirees you’re used to in LA.”

Niall hears Demi snort in front of him and poorly attempt to cover it with a cough. He muffles his own laugh in his hand, turning towards the window to hide his smirk.

“On the contrary,” Harry says. “Everyone’s been really nice since I started. I like a more down-to-earth party now and then. No pressure.”

“Oh my gosh!” Taylor gushes. “You are just the sweetest. You’re always just like… so… well… down-to-earth,” she giggles.

Niall hears Demi snicker and clamps a hand over his own mouth.

Harry, ever the gentleman, chuckles softly. “Well, thank you. You’re sweet too.”

Taylor turns nearly as red as her lipstick.

Demi finally seems to give up on trying to hide it and cackles loudly, setting Niall off in the process.

 

The party’s in full swing and Niall’s a few beers in, tipsy on the express train to drunk. He’d lost track of Harry almost an hour ago. People had sort of swarmed him and Niall had started to feel awkward and wandered off. He’s just the right amount of buzzed now that he thinks he might not care so much anymore. Plus, he misses his boyfriend, which is a weird thought since they’re together more often than not lately.

He finds Louis before he finds Harry. “Lou… you seen Harry?”

Louis is already twice as drunk as Niall. “NIALL!” he shouts, grinning broadly. “Perfect timing. I was just about to make my announcement and I want to see my best mates’ faces when I do. Where’s Liam?” He stands up on his toes, bracing his hand on Niall’s shoulder to keep himself steady as he looks around. “Ah!... LIAM!” he bellows right in Niall’s ear, causing Niall to jerk away from him and nearly toppling Louis in the process. Louis barely seems to notice. “Get over here!”

“Deaf now. Thanks, Lou.” Niall grumbles, glaring at him.

“Don’t mention it!” Louis grins, clapping him on the shoulder.’

Liam appears through the crowd a moment later. “What’s up?”

“I’m getting ready for the big announcement!” Louis says, puffing up his chest. He looks around again. “Eleanor!” He grabs her hand and pulls her over to stand beside him. She’s grinning proudly as he wraps his arm around her and holds her close. For a brief moment, Niall thinks they might be engaged but there’s no ring and they’ve literally only been dating about a week longer than he and Harry so he banishes the thought.

“Oi!” Louis calls out. “Everyone shut the fuck up!”

Murmurs filter through the room and someone shuts the music off. Louis is positively beaming.

“Now then, I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’ve gathered you here today.” Louis looks far too proud of himself and Niall can’t imagine how long he’s waited for an excuse to utter that exact phrase. “I’m pleased to finally be able to announce that I’ve been cast in Game of Thrones!” Gasps filter through the room. Liam and Niall gape at each other.

“What the fuck, Louis? That’s amazing!” Niall says.

Louis absolutely preens. “I know.”

“What role?” Liam asks.

Louis shrugs. “My lips are sealed.”

“Oh, don’t hold out on us now, Lou! Tell us!” Niall presses.

“I’m in a battle sequence. They haven’t even told me whose army.” He beams. “But I asked if I get to die a violent and bloody death on screen and they said yes!”

At that, Niall and Liam burst out laughing.

“You die?” Liam gasps out.

“Oh my god. That’s brilliant!” Niall wheezes.

Louis eyes them warily. “Is this good laughing or bad laughing.”

“Good!” Niall says.

“Very!” Liam assures him, wrapping an arm around him. “Proud of you, mate.”

“Yeah,” Niall says. “Totally sick.”

Louis grins.

Niall chats with the boys for a bit before remembering he’d wanted to find Harry. The party’s back in full swing, music thumping over the speakers at a volume Niall’s sure is going to get Louis evicted.

He’s just wondering if he should start calling out for Harry when he sees him. It takes him a moment to realize who Harry’s dancing with, the crowd a bit too densely packed around them, but then he sees the flash of blonde hair and he knows. His mind flits back to the uber and Taylor’s shameless flirting. In the back of his mind, he knows it’s not rational, but he feels anger curling in the pit of his stomach. He turns on his heel and heads off to find more alcohol. He wants to get spectacularly drunk and forget he ever saw this.

It turns out to be a spectacularly awful plan and he finds himself stumbling outside to get some air a couple hours later, the room suddenly far too hot and far too loud. He leans on the railing, taking a deep breath. He knows the polluted New York air will be the death of him someday, but right now, it’s refreshing. It’s home.

He hears the door slide open and shut behind him and his heart flips, thinking Harry might finally be seeking him out, but when he turns to look over his shoulder, it’s just Perrie.

“Oh. Hey,” he says.

Perrie arches an eyebrow. “Awww Niall. It’s so good to see you too!” she coos sarcastically.

Niall breathes out a laugh, turning his attention back to the street below and the few cars whizzing by.

“Sorry. Not feeling too good right now.”

Perrie leans on the railing beside him. “Yeah. I noticed. Want to talk about it?”

Niall sighs. He probably shouldn’t, but the alcohol is swirling in his brain and in his stomach and he thinks if he doesn’t talk, it might actually make him sick.

“I haven’t seen Harry since we got here,” he says, because he doesn’t really know how else to begin.

Perrie arches an eyebrow again. “Ok… and?” she presses.

“And I miss him,” he groans, burying his face in his hands. “This is stupid.”

He feels Perrie’s hand moving in slow circles over his back.

“Breathe, Ni. Let it out.”

Niall lifts his head and takes deep breaths, in and out. He loves Perrie, he really does. She was his first Glinda when he started in Wicked. She’d only been there a couple weeks before popping off to play Roxie in Chicago, but she’d been so welcoming and supportive. Between her and Michael, Niall had felt instantly at home in the Wicked cast. He’s been fond of her ever since. Not to mention, she’s the most rational member of the group at any given moment and as the only girl until Lauren and Eleanor had become group regulars, she’d taken on the role of mother hen.

Niall takes another moment to try and compose his thoughts. It feels like they’re flitting every which way and he can’t seem to latch onto anything particularly coherent. He really shouldn’t have had so much to drink.

“I love him,” he blurts, then freezes, blinking wide-eyed into the distance.

There’s a long silence, then Perrie finally speaks.

“Does he know that?”

Niall shakes his head, instantly regretting it when it feels like his brain is banging about inside his skull.

“No,” he says, swallowing hard past the sudden bout of nausea. “And he can’t. And… he was in there dancing with Taylor.” Niall drops his face into his hands again, embarrassed to feel tears leaking from his eyes. Fucking alcohol throwing his emotions all out of whack. Thank fuck it’s Perrie out here with him right now. There’s no one else he’d rather have, except maybe Andrew.

Perrie rubs his back again and Niall sighs, trying to compose himself. He drops his hands from his face so he can breathe in deeply again. He looks over at Perrie.

“Sorry, Pez. Didn’t mean to be such a downer.”

“You’re fine,” she assures him. “Come here.” She opens her arms and Niall falls into them gratefully, burying his face in her shoulder and wrapping his arms around her waist.

“You have the biggest heart of anyone I know, Nialler. If Harry doesn’t see that, then he doesn’t deserve you.”

Niall breathes out a wet laugh. “Thanks, Pez,” he says, wishing he could believe her. Instead, he just feels sort of like an idiot. He’s in love with a boy that he’s admired from afar for nearly a decade and dated for less than three weeks. It’s clear to him now that any attempt he ever makes at a love life can only end in disaster, but the worst part is, he’s going to hang onto Harry for as long as he possibly can. This time, though… This time, he won’t make the stupid mistake of using the ‘l word’. This is the first and last time he’ll say it in regards to Harry.

He sighs, strengthening his resolve, and finally lets go of Perrie. She smiles at him and gently rubs his arm.

“Ready to get back inside?” she asks.

Niall nods. He’s not, but he doesn’t want to ruin the party for her any more than he already has and he really isn’t in the mood to continue the conversation anyway.

Perrie leads the way back inside and Niall’s just starting to think it might be time to head home when Harry finally reappears, seemingly out of thin air. His hair is sticking up every which way, cheeks tinged pink, eyes glossy. He beams when he sees Niall. He’s beautiful.

“Niall!” he calls out. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

Perrie looks over at Niall warily. “You gonna be okay?” she asks quietly.

Niall simply nods because he doesn’t think he has the ability to talk right now.

“Alright.” She squeezes his shoulder. “Let me know if you need me, okay?”

Niall nods again and Perrie finally slips away.

Harry’s drawing closer, brow furrowed now. “Niall?” he says, question in his voice. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. I was just thinking of maybe heading out though. Bit tired.”

Harry nods. “Okay. We can go.”

“You can stay, if you want. I don’t mind.”

Harry shakes his head, losing his balance slightly and catching himself with a hand on Niall’s shoulder, his palm warm and heavy. “No. Let’s go home.”

“Okay,” Niall says, because he’s not really in the mood to argue about something that doesn’t really matter anyway. Besides, he’s getting what he wants. He’s getting Harry all to himself, away from the party and the fawning guests, away from _Taylor_.

They hunt Louis down to say their goodbyes and offer congratulations again before Harry calls them an uber back to his apartment. It’s a quiet ride back. Niall’s not really in the mood to talk and Harry seems too drunk to care one way or the other.

When they get back to Harry’s, they strip down to their briefs and climb into bed. Niall’s heart clenches at how easily Harry curls up against him, head pillowed on Niall’s chest, arms wrapped tightly around him, passing out almost instantly.

Niall stays awake, staring at the ceiling, holding Harry close, wondering how he’d managed to flee across an entire ocean only to find his heart getting ripped out all over again.

\-----

When Niall wakes, Harry is still plastered to him. His mouth is hanging open and Niall can feel the soft puffs of his breath against his skin. He brushes his fingers through Harry’s hair and Harry snuffles, nuzzling Niall’s chest in his sleep.

Niall sighs, shutting his eyes, sinking into this feeling. As terrible as he knows it is, he feels lucky that he gets the chance to love Harry… and not the world famous pop star Harry, but the clumsy, dad-joke-loving, human teddy bear Harry, the side of him Niall’s sure so few get to see and not nearly enough appreciate.

For all his swanning about on stage and his cheeky smiles and his overall charm, Harry is really one of the softest, warmest people Niall has ever met. It was so easy to fall in love with him, he hadn’t even known it was happening until it was too late. He wishes he could take the moment of realization away, go back to the blissful ignorance of simple infatuation and leave it at that. It would hurt so much less.

He lies there, just holding Harry, until he can’t ignore the call of nature any longer, and he moves to extract himself from Harry’s arms.

Harry lets out a low groan, tightening his grasp. “No,” he mumbles. “Five more minutes.”

Niall laughs softly, heart wrapped in fondness for the boy wrapped in his arms. “I have to pee, Harry. I’ll be right back. Promise.”

“Mmm. You better.” Harry presses a feather light kiss to Niall’s chest, finally letting go.

Niall slips out of bed, smiling at the way Harry instantly sprawls into the warm space he’s just vacated.

He relieves himself and takes a moment to brush his teeth as well, washing the taste of death from his mouth. There’s a dull pounding starting in his skull, but he chooses to ignore it for now. There’s a boy waiting for him in bed that’s far more important than any hangover.

Niall hurries back into the bedroom and finds Harry fast asleep again, starfished on the bed. He laughs and nudges him gently.

Harry groans, not opening his eyes. “What?”

“Budge over. Let me back in.”

Harry scoots a bit until there’s just enough room for Niall, then immediately latches onto Niall’s side again, Niall’s chest his pillow once more.

“Mm,” Harry sighs contentedly, throwing a leg over Niall’s to further tangle them together. “You’re comfortable.”

Niall chuckles. “Thanks?”

Harry kisses his chest before settling his head back down. It’s far too easy to fall back asleep with his very own Harry blanket keeping him warm.

 

The next time Niall wakes, he opens his eyes to find Harry gazing fondly at him, arms folded on Niall’s chest, chin resting atop them.

“Wakey wakey, Sleepyhead,” Harry says with a giggle.

Niall laughs softly. “Me Sleepyhead? You’re the one who made me come back to bed.”

Harry giggles but doesn’t deny it. Instead, he leans up enough to be able to press his lips to Niall’s, kissing him softly.

“I’ve just got the most brilliant idea for what we should do today,” he says when he pulls back, grinning.

“Oh really?” Niall prompts, eyebrow arched.

“Mmhmm.”

“Go on…”

“Weeeeeeee… should spend the entire day in bed.” A smirk curls on his lips, his fingers tracing lazy circles over Niall’s chest.

Niall shivers beneath his touch. He can tell his cock is already on alert.

“That may be the best idea you’ve ever had,” he says.

Harry laughs and climbs on top of him fully, kissing him deeply. Niall pulls Harry tightly against him, a moan escaping him as Harry grinds down into him. It’s slow, at first, calm, just getting them warmed up, and Niall revels in it. It feels like they have all the time in the world. If only.

He slides his hands down Harry’s back to the small, perky swell of his arse, squeezing gently, Harry rewarding him with a delightful little groan that makes Niall’s cock twitch in his briefs.

Harry tilts his head down to suck at Niall’s neck, trailing little nips and kisses over it as he scoots down. His fingers trace over Niall’s stomach and Niall shivers, his body warming up, cock hardening.

When Harry’s hand trails down, rubbing him through his briefs, Niall pushes his hips up into the touch, hands clutching at Harry’s bum.

“Fuck… Haz… I want you to fuck me again.”

He can hear Harry’s sharp inhale. “Yes.”

Niall starts to tug at Harry’s briefs, desperate to get Harry naked. Harry climbs off of him to slip out of them, tossing them to the floor before leaning to get the condom and lube out of the bedside table. Niall takes that moment to get his own pants off, chucking them off the bed before bending his legs up. His chest tightens with nerves when Harry turns around, unabashedly allowing his gaze to trail over Niall’s body, smirking all the while.

Harry scoots between his legs, his cock curving up towards his stomach. Niall almost wishes prep weren’t necessary. His body is aching to be filled with Harry.

Harry squirts lube onto his fingers and slips a finger into Niall easily. Niall sighs, head falling back as he focuses on relaxing. When Harry’s hand wraps around his cock, stroking him in time with the steady movement of his finger, Niall moans loudly, hips jerking.

“Harry…” He breathes out. “Another. Please.”

Harry complies and Niall hisses at the slight stretch, but the feeling is gone a second later when Harry brushes against his prostate and Niall’s vision goes hazy. Harry works his fingers until Niall is pliant beneath him, squirming and anxious for Harry to fill him.

Harry pulls his fingers out and Niall sighs, lifting his head to watch Harry work the condom over his length, coating it in lube.

When the tip of his cock pushes in, Niall clutches at the bed, head tilting back as he pushes toward Harry, entire body screaming for more.

Harry buries himself in Niall and Niall takes steadying breaths, concentrating on how good it feels when Harry fills him up.

Harry starts moving his hips and Niall pulls him down for a desperate kiss with too much spit and too much teeth but he’s already too far gone to care. He just wants to surround himself with Harry Harry Harry. He wants to feel him over every inch of his body.

He whimpers with each thrust of Harry’s cock inside him, his hips moving with the rhythm Harry sets.

“Haz… Harder… Harder…” he gasps out against his lips.

Harry nods a little, dropping his head to Niall’s shoulder as he braces himself to press into him more forcefully, the bed creaking with each of his thrusts. Niall’s fingers dig into Harry’s back and he feels like he’s clinging on for dear life, waiting for the world to come crashing down around him. And then it hits… the beautiful warmth that spreads like a wave through his stomach, up to his head and down to his toes, his body shivering with the electricity of it as his cock spurts between them, untouched.

Harry continues to thrust into him until he groans loudly against Niall’s neck, spilling out in the condom.

Niall can scarcely catch his breath, can’t even focus on the ceiling above him as his vision dances with stars. He gasps when he feels Harry slide out of him, but then Harry’s beautiful, sweaty, face is above him and he suddenly knows what to focus on. He grins and Harry grins back, leaning down to kiss him and he’s warm, warm, warm. His breath, his body, his very being are so warm that Niall tugs him down, their bodies sticking together with their sweat and come and he can’t bring himself to care.

He hears Harry sigh, his nose nuzzling beneath Niall’s ear. “Mm… How soon will you be ready for another round?”

Niall laughs. “Not soon enough.”

“Shower?”

“More naked time with you? Yes, please.”

Harry giggles and kisses his ear before pulling himself up. “We don’t have to wear clothes all day, if you don’t want to,” he says, holding out his hand to help Niall up. “That’s the beauty of a day in bed.”

Niall takes his hand and pulls himself up, not letting go as he kisses Harry’s cheek. “If I had my way, you’d be naked all the time.”

Harry snickers. “Imagine that scandal. ‘Harry Styles Turned Nudist’.”

Niall pouts, moving his free hand around to cup Harry’s bum. “Ok. Not naked all the time for the whole world. Just naked all the time for me.”

Harry arches an eyebrow, smirk downright lascivious. “All you had to do was ask.”

Niall swallows hard. “Bloody hell, I don’t think I could handle it.”

Harry laughs, pulling Niall flush against him, swaying him a bit. “For the record, I happen to enjoy the sight of you naked too. I would very happily agree to a No Clothes Rule.” He thinks about it for a moment. “Although for Ed’s sake, we should probably keep it to the bedroom… and the bathroom.”

“Awww,” Niall giggles. “No naked adventures to the kitchen for food later?”

“Christ, I’m going to have to end up buying Ed out of his lease, furniture and all.”

Niall snorts. “Have fun explaining that one to him. ‘So sorry Ed. We just couldn’t contain our sexcapades’.”

“Mm…” Harry hums, eyes fond as he leans in to press a kiss to Niall’s forehead. “Or I could just tell him I’ve gotten a bit attached to the place and the memories I’ve made here.”

Niall’s chest tightens painfully. “Or that, yeah,” he agrees quietly.

“Come,” Harry says, tugging gently on his hand. “Let’s get showered and maybe by the time we’re done, we’ll be ready to make another memory.”

At that, Niall cackles. Harry is so cheesy sometimes and he just can’t seem to get enough of him.

 

After the shower, it’s blowjobs and after blowjobs, they finally remember that they still haven’t eaten when Niall’s stomach gives an embarrassingly loud grumble as they’re curled up together.

They’re feeling far too lazy to make anything, so Harry orders Chinese food and they stay sprawled out in bed together, listening for the door. It’s agreed that Niall should answer it when they hear the knock, as the far less recognizable of the pair, and he slips on a robe, darting out to get their food. He grabs the trays from the kitchen on his way back to the bedroom and they spread the food out amongst the trays, picking at everything without bothering to divide it onto plates.

It feels far too natural for Niall, to be here with Harry like this, naked without a care in the world, sharing far more food than they should have ordered just because they were too hungry to waste time on decisions. They’re young and stupid and Niall could forget that Harry is the boy from so long ago, up on the X Factor stage, who opened his mouth and stole teen Niall’s heart. He could forget that Harry Styles is a household name, that he sells out arena after arena, tour after tour. He could so so easily let it all slip his mind as he watches Harry stuff his mouth full of lo mein, grinning at Niall around his fork when he catches his gaze, because Harry is just so normal like this. Right here, right now, Niall could almost convince himself that they’re just two average blokes, sharing shags and laughs and falling helplessly, hopelessly in love in a city made for just such dreams.

He swallows hard, forcing himself to look away from Harry, poking at a dumpling with his fork.

“You alright?” Harry’s voice drifts through his thoughts and Niall looks up again.

“Yeah. Fine,” he says, managing a smile.

“You sure?” Harry’s brow is furrowed and he’s assessing Niall carefully.

Niall nods. “Just get lost in my own head sometimes.”

“What were you thinking about?” Niall shrugs, returning his attention to the dumpling. “Just… today is nice,” he says, deciding to get as close to the truth as possible. “Wish we could have more days like it.”

He hears the fabric of the bedding rustle and soon, Harry’s octopus limbs are wrapped around Niall. He falls easily into Harry’s arms, back pressed against Harry’s chest.

“Me too,” Harry says, kissing Niall’s bare shoulder. “I’ve never just spent the day in bed with someone before, you know.”

That surprises Niall. He tips his head back to look at him better. “Really?”

“Mmhmm. Never really had a reason for it.” He smirks. “But someone looked far too fuckable this morning and I just couldn’t help myself.”

Niall blushes but presses a kiss under Harry’s chin. “Someone’s looking far too fuckable right now, so we should probably clean up this food before I just can’t help myself and make a huge mess.”

Harry laughs and they clean up quickly, setting the cartons of food on the floor to deal with later before Harry tackles Niall to the bed.

\-----

The following Monday, Harry has a brunch interview and he pesters Niall to tag along. Niall’s hesitant. It seems like a busy day, with a photoshoot after for the pictures to accompany the article. Niall thinks he’ll end up spending most of it waiting around, playing on his phone. In the end, he’s only convinced to go because he’ll get to watch Harry do all the beautiful poses in person and even see some of the ones that don’t make the cut. There are worse ways to spend an afternoon. Besides, Harry really wants him there, so he might as well go and be a supportive boyfriend.

When they arrive at the restaurant, Niall’s pleased to see it’s more hipster chic than high-end and overpriced. It’s like they know exactly who they’re interviewing, which is probably true when he thinks about it. They’re going to want their subject to feel comfortable in the hopes of getting more information from them.

The interviewer is already there when they arrive. She has long blonde hair and bright blue eyes, her smile genuine when she sees Harry coming. She stands from the table to shake his hand.

“Harry, lovely to see you again,” she says.

Harry takes her hand warmly. “Likewise.” He motions to Niall. “Annie, this is Niall Horan. He’s the Boq to my Fiyero. Niall, this is Annie Lewis, my favorite writer at Billboard,” he says with a wink that makes Annie laugh.

Niall has a moment’s pause at Harry’s choice of words when introducing him, but he supposes it’s probably the most neutral way he could have approached it. Niall thinks he might have cringed if Harry called him his friend. He extends his hand to Annie, smiling.

“Nice to meet you,” he says.

“Pleasure,” Annie says, taking his hand.

They take their seats at the table, Annie on one side and the boys on the other. They’re quiet while they peruse the menus and once their orders are placed, Annie finally seems ready to get things going. She pulls out her recorder and sets it on the table.

“So, Harry, you’re currently starring in Wicked on Broadway. I know fans and critics alike are absolutely raving about your performance. How are you feeling about it? Think you’ll be trying Broadway again in the future?”

Harry laughs. “I think ‘raving’ is being generous, but thank you,” he seems to think over his answer before continuing. “Uhm… I like it. Very much so, actually. The cast was very welcoming from the start and very supportive. It’s been fun to explore myself creatively alongside other people for a change, you know? It’s not just me up there. It’s the whole cast and it wouldn’t work, I don’t think, if we didn’t get along so well. So my success is just as much their success and I think it’s rather brilliant to be able to share that with them. I’d love to try it again sometime, yeah. It’s a good feeling.”

Niall’s heart absolutely swells with pride at that answer and he’s struck once again by the fact that Harry’s not just any celebrity. He could so easily think he’s above the rest of the cast because of his fame, play himself off as the star of the show, but instead, he genuinely understands what it means to be part of an ensemble. Niall could kiss him for it and he tucks away that thought for later.

“What about the fans?” Annie asks. “What’s it like getting to meet them and chat with them every night? Must be different from your standard meet and greets.”

“It is a completely different experience, yeah. They aren’t as formal. There’s the opportunity for longer conversations. I’ve even chatted with a few people who weren’t fans of mine to begin with, which is always funny. They’ll tell me they don’t like my music and I’m like ‘Uhm… thanks?’ and they’ll rush to say ‘Oh no no no… it’s not bad’ and they’ll tell me they like my voice or something and that they’d love to see me on Broadway again.” He chuckles. “It’s a bit humbling, that’s for sure.”

The server arrives with their food and Annie pauses the tape for a few moments, letting them take their first bites in peace before continuing. Niall thinks that’s rather polite of her.

“So,” Annie says once she starts the tape up again. “Speaking of the fans, I have to ask the question everyone always wants the answer to… Are you seeing anyone?”

Niall pauses mid-bite, side-eyeing Harry and trying hard not to have any sort of reaction to the question. Harry, ever the pro, just laughs.

“You knowwwww I don’t kiss and tell,” he says.

“So you are kissing someone?” Annie presses, smirk on her lips.

Harry laughs again, waving his hand to brush it off. “Don’t you have more interesting questions to ask?”

It’s not a confirmation and it’s not a denial. It’s a deflection. Niall’s stomach twists. He’s not really sure what he was expecting, honestly. It’s not like Harry could really confirm it, especially not with the rumors swirling about the two of them together. Harry would practically out himself at this point if he said anything. As far as Niall knows, he hasn’t been seen publicly with a girl for quite a while, certainly not the past few weeks since he and Niall have been together every waking moment.

He must not be keeping as much of a poker face as he’d hoped because Harry glances over at him, his own expression carefully blank. A quick look towards Annie tells Niall she didn’t miss the exchange, her eyebrow arched as her gaze flicks between the pair. Niall’s fucked up and he knows it.

Annie doesn’t comment on it, pushing the interview forward. She shifts the conversation to Harry’s upcoming tour, which is the real purpose of the interview anyway. It’s Harry’s first promo for it, since he kicks off in just a couple months. Niall loses track of the rest of the interview, head swimming with thoughts of what’s going to happen to them when Harry leaves. He hadn’t truly thought about it before, but Harry can’t be out. And Niall can’t exactly chase off after him around the world. He has his own life and his own career to build here. Not to mention, with Niall’s total fuck up just now, he clearly doesn’t belong in Harry’s world. He’s not made to be under the microscope of fame.

When they’re finished eating and the interview comes to a close, Harry and Annie exchange air kisses before Harry flags down a cab for he and Niall to head uptown where the photoshoot will take place. The ride is quiet and Niall can’t tell if it’s a comfortable sort of quiet or not. Maybe he’s overreacting to what happened.

“You’ve got to be more careful,” Harry finally says, looking over at him. Maybe Niall’s not overreacting, then.

Niall sighs. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“You’ve probably poured gasoline on the flames.”

“I know,” Niall says again, because he doesn’t really know what else to say.

“Are you sure you still want to go with me to the photoshoot?” Harry’s expression is carefully blank and it makes Niall feel a bit queasy to be so uncertain of what Harry’s thinking.

“Do you still want me to?”

“I’d like for you to be there, yes, but you’ve got to be more careful about how you react to certain things. Part of it’s my fault, I know. I didn’t think to warn you about what you might be walking into. I’m sorry. But you can’t let people get to you like that.”

Niall frowns. “You think it was Annie?”

It’s Harry’s turn to frown. “What?”

“You think I reacted to Annie? I don’t give a flying fuck what Annie has to say. I didn’t like your deflection of her question.”

“You expected me to confirm it?” Harry’s eyes are wide in disbelief.

Niall’s still not sure what he expected Harry to do which is only making this argument a thousand times worse. Which is making him realize that they are, in fact, having their first argument. His chest tightens, a burning sensation building beneath his ribcage that lets him know a panic attack is imminent if he’s not careful. This conversation is entering territory that is far too familiar.

“No!” Niall says. “I don’t know what I expected I just…” he shakes his head. His thoughts are getting jumbled, words twisting and fluttering in his mind and he can’t really grasp onto anything solid. “Forget it. Forget I said anything.”

“No. What were you expecting me to do?” Harry presses, clearly getting upset himself now.

“Nothing! Jesus, just drop it,” Niall says, starting to feel like his lungs are being squeezed. The burning sensation spreads. His hands start to shake and he clenches them into fists on his knees.

“I’d prefer you not come to the shoot,” Harry says, an air of finality in his voice.

“Good,” Niall says. “I don’t want to go.” And he really doesn’t, if only because he can already feel the tears threatening to fall, a lump forming in his throat that threatens to leave him gasping for breath. He starts to count in his head, focusing on his breathing, trying to get the iron fists clenched around his lungs to loosen.

“Good,” Harry says, looking out his window.

Niall looks out his own window, but he doesn’t really see anything. The world is a blur of browns and greys as tears fill his eyes. He lifts his hand to brush at them, hating himself. He doesn’t even really understand what just happened or how things went so catastrophically sideways so quickly. He wants to throw up, can taste the bile building in the back of his throat and he chokes it down, a sob escaping. Fuck his stupid emotions.

“Niall?” Harry says then, concern in his voice that Niall can’t handle right now. It’s too much, too completely opposite of everything that just happened and everything Niall’s brain is screaming at him about this being over over over. Niall can’t bring himself to answer Harry.

Harry sighs. “We’ll talk about it later, okay?” he says.

Niall doesn’t respond and Harry sighs again. They finish the ride in silence and by the time they arrive, Niall knows his eyes must be red, his face splotchy. He doesn’t want Harry to see him like this, can’t let Harry see him like this. Not after their conversation about keeping himself in check. Niall exits the cab quickly, keeping his head ducked down. He hears Harry call his name, but he doesn’t turn around. Instead, he hurries off as quickly as he can, losing himself in the hustle and bustle of the city, using the chaos of the city’s streets to drown out the chaos in his mind.

 

He’s not sure how he makes it home. He doesn’t remember the trip. He barely registers Andrew on the couch, forgot that it’s too early for him to be at work yet. He hurries past him and into his room, shutting the door harder than he means to and throwing himself on his bed. He grabs his pillow and screams into it before breaking into sobs.

He should have known. He really should have paid attention to the signs that he just didn’t belong with Harry. He thinks of Bressie before he can stop himself. It’s just like everything with Bressie, really. It’s all the fucking same in the end. He let himself be hidden away again, like a dirty little secret. They’ll fuck him, sure, have their way with him. It’s all fun and games until it’s time to tell people. And then… then Niall isn’t good enough. Niall is the embarrassment, the whore, the stupid fucking idiot who mucked it all up with something so trivial as _feelings_.

There’s a knock at the door and Niall tries to muffle his sobs in his pillow. He just wants to be alone right now. He can’t bear someone seeing him like this, even Andrew. Not again. Andrew had held him and cared for him through the whole Bressie situation. Niall can’t let him see that it’s happened again, that he was dumb enough to fall for it again.

“Niall?” Andrew calls through the door. “You alright in there?”

Niall doesn’t answer, tries to hold in the sobs and stay silent.

“Nialler?” Andrew’s voice is tinged with worry and guilt starts to pool in Niall’s stomach. It doesn’t make him want to open the door though. It only makes him hate himself more.

There’s a long pause and Niall thinks Andrew’s left until he speaks again.

“I have to get to work. I’ll leave my phone on in case you need me.” Niall finally hears the sounds of his footsteps retreating, followed shortly by the front door opening and shutting.

Niall screams into his pillow until his voice is raw.

 

Niall wakes to the sound of his phone ringing. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep. His head is pounding and his throat feels like sandpaper. It takes him a moment to register the ringtone. It’s from the ‘Wizard of Oz’, an instrumental version of the theme for Dorothy’s companions. Harry. It had been his idea to use it for each other.

Niall snatches his phone before he can change his mind.

“Harry…” he gasps out, voice scratchy.

“Niall?” Harry’s voice is thick with concern. “Where are you?”

“Home. Come over.” Niall is already on the verge of tears again. He’s amazed he even has any left. He chokes back the sudden nausea when it makes his vision spin.

“I’ll be there soon,” Harry says.

“Okay,” Niall disconnects the call and pulls himself up with the intention of getting cleaned up. His stomach flips over and he barely manages to make it to the bathroom before vomiting. It feels like fire coming up his throat and he gasps in pain, the sound echoing in the toilet as he clings to it, trying to stop the sudden feeling of falling off the edge of the earth.

He sucks in deep breaths, shivers running down his spine as he tries to keep himself together. He swallows hard, forcing his nerves to calm, feeling a heavy weight settle in his gut that he fights to keep at bay.

He flushes the toilet and pulls himself up, brushing his teeth. There’s nothing to be done for the rest of him. His eyes are puffy, face red. It’s obvious what he’s been doing. For a moment, he debates telling Harry not to come, telling him to wait until tomorrow. He can’t let Harry seem him like this, pathetic and broken. But he can’t really stomach the thought of turning him away either, on the off chance it makes Harry change his mind altogether. If Harry’s even coming over to reconcile. Niall realizes he isn’t sure. The bile starts to claw its way back up and Niall has to lean over the sink and remind himself how to breathe.

He’s still in the bathroom when he hears the knock at the door. His legs are shaky and he has to pry his hands from the sink to force himself towards the door.

When he opens it, Harry’s standing there, looking far more perfect and collected than he has any right to. There’s not even a hair out of place.

His brow furrows as he takes in Niall’s appearance. Niall feels like a goblin in comparison and he resists the urge to slam the door and hide away.

“Niall…” Harry starts, then seems to stop himself, looking around. “Can I come in?”

Niall nods and steps back, allowing Harry to enter before shutting the door behind him.

When Niall turns to look at him again, Harry’s chewing on his lip. He finally seems to make a decision, because he pulls Niall into his arms and hugs him so tight, Niall feels his breath leave him. He couldn’t stop himself from wrapping his arms around Harry just as tightly if he wanted to. He really really doesn’t want to. He buries his face in Harry’s neck, inhaling his familiar, flowery scent and chokes back the new wave of tears.

“Niall…” Harry says again and Niall doesn’t want to think about how good his name sounds in Harry’s voice. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have been so short with you.”

“No,” Niall says quickly. “No. It’s my fault. I should have expected that question and you handled it fine and I overreacted. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His voice is thick and he hates being so vulnerable, but the floodgates opened and he can’t stop himself.

“Shh…” Harry says, hands running in soothing circles over his back. “It’s fine. We’re okay.”

Niall breathes in shaking breaths. Maybe he should tell Harry. Maybe he should explain why it hurt so much. But the thought alone makes Niall’s chest tighten. There’s no reason for Harry to know. What’s done is done. No use dredging up the past again. It’s already ruined too much.

“I’m sorry,” Niall whispers, because he feels like he can’t say it enough, can’t loosen the feeling of impending doom clinging to his insides.

“I’m sorry too,” Harry murmurs.

Niall feels Harry’s fingers card through his hair. He’s so warm, so gentle. And Niall loves him. He loves him against his better judgment, against the sensible part of his brain that tells him it’s too much too soon. If only Harry was his to keep.

 

Harry stays the night and Niall stays wrapped up in his arms through it. In the morning, they don’t mention it and Niall ignores the wary looks Andrew shoots him when Harry’s not looking.

It takes the entire day for Niall not to feel like he’s coming apart at the seams. Harry feels a bit like a ghost, so real and visible in front of him and yet, Niall feels like he can’t really hold onto him, like he’ll slip through his fingers at any moment and vanish into thin air.

Still, they go out with the group that night and Niall drinks until he’s laughing too hard and too loud. This time is different from the others though, this time, Harry’s matching him drink for drink and by the end, they’re a mess, barely able to get themselves out the door and into a cab back to Harry’s.

They fall into Harry’s bed, clawing at each other’s clothes, kisses sloppy, sometimes missing each other’s mouths altogether. They can only manage to focus for quick handjobs, jeans awkwardly shoved around their knees, movements jumbled and restricted.

Niall comes with Harry’s name on his lips and passes out, sweaty and sated in his arms.

 

The following morning, despite the wicked hangover Niall knows he must have just based on his own throbbing skull, Harry’s in the kitchen making breakfast. Just like that, their routine is back to normal.

“We should go away for the weekend,” Harry says when Niall enters.

“Alright,” Niall says.

And that’s that.

\-----

They head out Sunday, right after the show. Harry rents a car. Niall’s never bothered get his license because he’s either lived where he could walk or lived where the public transportation rendered driving completely unnecessary.

They head up to the mountains where Harry’s booked them a cabin for a couple days. Bressie had never taken Niall anywhere, so it’s an improvement. Despite his best efforts and despite the fact that Harry seems to have reverted back to normal, Niall hasn’t been able to stop thinking about Bressie. Everything Harry does is either something Bressie did or didn’t do. He wishes he knew how to shut it off and just enjoy his time with Harry, but it gnaws away at him day and night. He’s even started dreaming about Bressie, foggy, twisted nightmares where Bressie’s laughing at him, calling him pathetic, worthless, until his face inevitably morphs into Harry’s and Niall wakes with a jolt and spends the rest of the night staring at the ceiling, listening to Harry’s breathing and wondering what sort of dreams he’s having.

The cabin is tucked away in the middle of the woods, all by itself. Trees stretch on for miles on three sides, while the fourth is the bluest lake Niall’s ever seen. The wall on that side is just three giant windows, the moonlight streaming in and basking it in a soft glow. It’s beautiful, romantic even. Harry’s made the perfect choice.

They set their bags down on the floor inside the door and Niall walks to the windows, watching the moonlight dance over the lake. There’s a soft breeze rippling over the water, making the reflections of the stars sparkle like diamonds on the surface.

He feels Harry’s arms slip around his waist and lays his hands over them, leaning back against Harry. Harry presses a soft kiss to his neck and Niall sighs softly.

“This is nice,” he says. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Harry says. “I figured we needed it.”

Niall swallows hard and falls quiet. It’s the closest either of them has come to mentioning what happened between them. Harry nuzzles his neck.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” Harry asks.

“Nothing,” Niall lies. “Just enjoying the view.”

“Mm,” Harry hums. “I picked it just for that. The pictures were amazing, but it’s nothing compared to being here.”

Niall nods and Harry squeezes him tighter. When Harry’s hand starts to sneak lower, Niall shivers. They haven’t done anything since the messy handjobs. It’s felt strange, almost new again between them. When Harry’s hand rubs him through his jeans, Niall feels his body respond far too quickly.

He lets out a soft moan, tipping his head back against Harry’s shoulder.

“Take off your jeans and press your palms against the window,” Harry murmurs in his ear.

Niall moans again and nods. Harry releases him to go retrieve the necessities and Niall quickly sheds his jeans and briefs, following Harry’s instructions. He feels a bit exposed, half-naked in front of the window, but there’s no one for miles.

He hears the snick of the cap on the lube which makes him aware of just how quiet it is. No cars, no sirens, no dogs barking. None of the sounds of the city that he’s become so used to, he didn’t realize just how deafening silence could be. He focuses on Harry’s already ragged breathing, the shuffling of his feet as he positions himself behind Niall.

Harry slips a finger into him, the other hand coming to rest on Niall’s waist. The window squeaks as Niall’s hands slide against the glass, palms already sweaty. Harry pumps his finger steadily, prepping him until he can slide a second in and open him wider. Harry brushes his prostate and Niall’s legs shake, Harry’s hand tightening on his waist to keep him upright. Niall widens his stance, locking his knees when Harry’s fingers find his prostate again.

When Harry finally enters him, hand wrapping around Niall’s cock, Niall has to fight not to come undone immediately. It feels like it’s been ages and Harry fills him up just right and it’s all too much. Every nerve ending is alert, aware. He can smell the musky tinge of sex in the air, can hear the faint slapping of their skin as Harry fucks into him. He has a hard time bracing himself, nothing to grasp onto, hands slick now. He’s leaving streaks where he’s scrabbling for purchase at the window. Whoever cleans this room is going to know exactly what happened in it.

His stomach coils, twists, turns, feels like it’s burning him from the inside out. He moans as he spurts out into Harry’s hand, some of it painting the window in front of him. It’s only two more thrusts before Harry’s following him.

When he slips out, Niall’s legs finally give out and he falls to his knees, shivering as his hot forehead connects with the cold, cold window. He hears Harry drop down behind him, arms snaking around his waist, head coming to rest on Niall’s shoulder.

Niall shuts his eyes and pants softly, focusing on the soft bursts of Harry’s breath against his neck, the sounds of his sighs as he composes himself, the heat radiating from his body through their shirts that stick to their skin.

He almost tells him he loves him. He opens his mouth but no sounds come out and he swallows the words, letting them sit and slosh around in his stomach.

 

Niall wakes to sunlight streaming on his face. They’d shed their shirts and ended up having another round on the oversized couch before falling asleep there. Harry’s pressed tightly against his back and Niall can feel the sweat gluing them together. It’s making him desperate for a shower.

He peels himself out of Harry’s arms, earning a groan from Harry in the process.

“Where are you going?” Harry mumbles.

“Shower. Wanna join me?” Niall asks.

“Yeah,” Harry says. It takes him another moment to actually open his eyes and pull himself up. He yawns and stretches and Niall watches the way his muscles shift with the movement. Harry smiles sleepily when he catches Niall watching him.

“Enjoying the view?”

Niall breathes out a laugh. “Always.”

Harry blushes and stands, pulling Niall to him for a kiss before they head into the bathroom to shower.

It’s so large, they could almost shower separately if they wanted to, but Niall doesn’t want to. He enjoys running his shampoo-lathered fingers through Harry’s hair, trailing the soapy washcloth over every inch of his skin, worshiping him in the soft fluorescent light that makes the water glow on Harry’s skin.

Harry returns the favor and Niall shuts his eyes and enjoys himself and the simple intimacy before they finally finish up and get out.

Niall helps Harry with breakfast this time and it feels proper domestic. He realizes they haven’t eaten anything since they left the city and his stomach rumbles in anticipation.

When they’re done with breakfast, they head out to enjoy the lake. There’s a small dock and they slip their shoes off, rolling their trackies up and dipping their legs in the water, kicking around. Niall lays his head on Harry’s shoulder and Harry wraps an arm around him, tugging him close. Niall slides his arms around Harry’s waist and sighs.

“It’s been a while since I’ve escaped the city,” Niall says.

“You didn’t go home for the holidays?” Harry asks.

Niall shakes his head. “Couldn’t get the time off. Haven’t been back to Ireland since I left, actually.”

“Do you miss it?”

“All the time.”

“Think you’ll ever move back?”

Niall has a moment’s pause as he mulls it over. He’s never really been sure of the answer. Sometimes, he misses his family so much it hurts and other days, he can’t imagine going back to such a simple life.

“I don’t know,” he says honestly.

Harry nods and presses a kiss to his head. “It’s been a while since I’ve had a proper vacation too. I’ve been busy with the album and the promo for it… and then, of course, I started in Wicked.”

“Do you ever get tired of running all the time?”

“Sometimes. But I’m also grateful, you know? I know how lucky I am to do what I do. I don’t take it for granted, even when it feels like too much sometimes.”

“That’s how I feel… about being on Broadway. It’s a rigorous schedule, but I can’t imagine giving it up.”

“Exactly. I think I’d feel like something was missing if I tried to.”

Niall nods and they fall silent. He shuts his eyes and tilts his face towards the breeze, listening to the leaves rustling in the trees. Staying here, just like this for the rest of their days is such a nice thought, but they’d never survive it.

\-----

Harry’s final week starts like any other. The only difference is, there are now murmurs of the new Fiyero, an up-and-comer named Shawn Mendes who, according to Taylor, has the face of an angel and the voice to match. Niall tries not to participate in any of the conversations. He doesn’t want to think about the fact that Harry’s leaving. They still haven’t talked about what happens next. Niall already knows it’s because the answer is simple: Nothing.

He’s the obvious choice for giving Harry his roses on his final night. He tries not to cry and he can tell from the way Harry’s eyes shine that he’s fighting back tears as well. He hugs him close, right there on stage, because if there’s one night he can get away with PDA, it’s tonight. Everyone knows they’re the closest in the cast. A little bit of emotional overload makes sense. It’s always hard to say goodbye to a cast mate you have a particular connection with.

Niall waits while Harry cleans up his dressing room. Something lurches in his stomach as he watches Harry finally scrub Niall’s note off his mirror. He pretends not to notice when Harry slips the good luck photo in his pocket.

Harry packs all of his things into a small duffle, little bits and pieces of his own personal things that had strayed into the room and never left. When they turn to head out, Niall thinks the room feels colder somehow. He can’t bear the thought of someone else moving in, their jacket tossed over the back of the couch, their shoes kicked haphazardly in a corner, their scarf draped over the vanity mirror.

He leaves the room quickly, fighting back tears. He and Harry don’t speak as they make their final walk down the hall together and out the stage door.

The fans are screaming, a few holding a sign that says _We’ll miss you, Harry!_ that Harry signs for them. Harry takes longer talking to people and Niall knows he’s trying to make it last just a little bit longer. It’s hard not to cling to the last night of a show.

It’s a quiet ride to Niall’s, both of them deep in thought. When they finally arrive, the party’s in full swing. Niall’s overwhelmed by the noise and the people crammed into his tiny apartment. It’s too much. He’s not sure why he thought this was a good idea. His nerves are already frayed and he just wants to hide away in the dark and pretend this isn’t the end. The last thing he needs is a party celebrating the end of the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

He loses Harry in the chaos and it just makes him feel unbalanced. It’s too soon to say goodbye. He wants every second he can possibly have with Harry because there just aren’t enough seconds left.

Eventually, he makes his way to his room and is startled to find Harry already there, seated on Niall’s bed, alone in the dark, staring into space. Niall pauses awkwardly in the doorway.

“Oh,” he says. “I didn’t know you were in here. Did you… uh… want to be alone?”

Harry looks up at him. “No. It’s okay,” he says with a shrug. “Your room anyway.”

Niall steps in and shuts the door behind himself. He stays standing, shifting nervously on his feet. Now that he has Harry to himself again, he’s suddenly not sure what he’s meant to do with him.

Harry’s still watching him carefully, though his expression is hard to make out in the shadows. Niall can’t bring himself to turn on the light, isn’t sure he wants to right now, not when he’s unsure of what Harry could read on his own face, probably far too much.

“Not much of a party when the guest of honor disappears,” Niall tries to joke, but it falls flat.

“I’m not really in the mood for a party.”

“I know.”

They fall silent again.

“Listen-”

“Harry-”

Niall swallows hard, motioning for Harry to go first. Harry sighs, turning away from Niall and hanging his head. Niall knows what’s coming and before he can stop himself, he barrels over whatever Harry was planning to say.

“It’s okay,” he says, making Harry’s gaze snap back up to him. “You don’t have to explain anything. I get it. I-” he swallows, pushing the rest of the words out. “I know it wasn’t meant to be a permanent thing. You don’t need to let me down gently.”

“What?” He can just make out Harry’s frown.

“I know this was just a fling to pass the time. We’re not… it’s not…” He shakes his head. “I get it,” he says again.

“Is that what you think?” The anger in Harry’s voice surprises Niall and he gazes at him, wide-eyed.

“What?”

“You think this was just a fling? That I make a habit of fucking my way through cities?”

“N-No… I-I-”

“You… what? What, Niall?”

Niall takes a shaking breath, blinking at Harry as he stands from the bed, seeming to tower over him.

“Let me guess…” Harry continues. “I was just here to fill your little fantasy, wasn’t I? I really should have fucking known. People always warned me to never date a fan, but I really thought you were different.”

“You weren’t just a fantasy. You’ve never been just a fantasy.”

Harry scoffs. “Whatever. You know what… I was going to ask if you wanted me to stay in New York a bit longer, see if we could make a real go of it.” He hears Harry’s voice catch. “But I should have known. You never really let me in. I’d open up to you, but it always felt like you were holding back.” Harry wipes at his eyes. “Now I know why.”

He sniffles and Niall’s heart breaks. He reaches out to touch his arm, but Harry jerks away.

“No!” Harry snaps with such anger that Niall reels backwards.

Before he can regain his composure or say another word, Harry’s out the door. Niall feels like his shoes are filled with cement. He tries to make himself chase after him, but he’s still in shock, not even sure of what’s real anymore.

He finally starts to shake so hard, he has to stumble his way to the bed, collapsing and curling himself into a tight ball. He hears raucous laughter coming from down the hall and he winces, the sound shattering through his nerves, so at odds with the darkness he feels consuming him.

 

He doesn’t know how long he’s there before his door opens again and his heart lurches, thinking Harry’s changed his mind and come back to him. He looks up and feels his heart sink again. It’s just Andrew.

“Fuck. I knew it,” Andrew sighs. He steps in, shutting the door behind himself and moving to sit on the bed beside Niall.

Niall curls into himself again. He doesn’t want to talk but he knows Andrew’s going to make him.

Andrew rubs Niall’s arm gently. “Saw Harry storm out. Thought you might be in here. Wanna tell me what happened?”

“It’s over,” Niall chokes out. He’s amazed he’s not crying, but he thinks he must still be in shock. He can’t process it. The words don’t even taste real on his tongue.

“What happened?”

“He… He thinks I was using him.”

“And how did he come under that impression?”

“I don’t know. I… I thought he was trying to let me down so I tried to beat him to it.”

“Oh, Niall….” Andrew sighs, squeezing his arm. “You have a really bad habit of not letting yourself be happy, you know that?”

Niall snorts self-deprecatingly. “I’m aware, yes.”

They fall silent and Niall stares at the wall, his eyes unfocused, brain feeling a bit like it’s filled with television static at the moment.

“Do you want me to kick everyone out?” Andrew finally asks.

Niall shrugs. “I don’t care. Let them have their fun. You should too.”

“I’m fine. I’m not a big party person anyway, you know that.”

“I think I just want to sleep,” Niall admits quietly.

“Alright. Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?”

“Yeah,” Niall says, thinking it’s probably better than being left alone with his thoughts.

Andrew just nods and continues to rub Niall’s arm until Niall finally drifts off.

\-----

Niall spends the entirety of Monday in bed. Andrew tries to get him to come out, but Niall just doesn’t have the energy to move. When Andrew brings him food, he leaves it untouched on his nightstand. He’s not sure he could keep anything down at the moment, not when his insides feel all mangled and mashed.

Half of his time is spent sleeping and the other half is spent reliving every moment he spent with Harry, trying to cling to every detail.

When Tuesday dawns, he finally pulls himself out of bed. The show must go on, as they say.

He puts himself on autopilot and tries not to think about whatever, or whoever, is waiting for him at the theater. It’s not Harry and that’s all that matters.

He’d somehow managed to forget his cardboard cutout and he stills in the doorway when he sees it. For a long moment, he just stares at it until he crosses the room, and, as calmly as he can, bends it in half and shoves it in the trash bin just outside his door. He ignores the wide-eyed look Taylor gives him as she walks down the hall towards her own room.

He’s startled when someone knocks at his door as he’s putting the finishing touches on his costume. He opens it to find a boy he doesn’t recognize, decked out in Harry’s old costume. So, the new Fiyero then.

“Hey,” he says, grinning broadly, his Canadian accent and slightly scratchy voice jarringly different from Harry’s smooth British timber. “I’m Shawn. Just wanted to introduce myself before things get crazy.”

“Niall,” he hears himself say. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise! You’re Boq, right?”

Niall nods.

“Cool! Guess that makes us bitter rivals then,” Shawn says with a wink.

Niall breathes out a laugh. In another universe, he might think Shawn is cute, but all he finds himself thinking is that he’s not Harry. He’ll never be as good as Harry.

“Yeah. Guess so.”

“Well then, may the best man win!” Shawn laughs at his own joke and Niall chuckles out of politeness.

 

Everything starts out fine. Shawn’s got a nice, raspy voice and a vibrant personality that make for a lively, cheeky Fiyero. The audience responds positively to him and the cast plays well off of him. Niall hates to admit that he’s a good choice.

It’s at the start of Dancing Through Life that the night suddenly goes pear-shaped. Niall hadn’t really been thinking about what was coming, hadn’t prepared himself for the moment that Shawn pulls him close. His eyes widen, the stage lights suddenly bearing down on him. His mind flashes back before he can stop it, to the way his heart raced the first time Harry pulled him close, the way he almost lost track of the scene because of how perfectly he fit against his side. His vision clouds and he almost doesn’t register Shawn trying to take his notebook until he has to tug just a little bit too hard to get Niall to release it.

Shawn tosses it and Niall makes a run for it. He bypasses the notebook, bypasses his dressing room, and finds himself curled around the toilet in the bathroom, throwing up bitter yellow bile from his empty stomach until he’s just dry heaving. Tears leak from his eyes and his whole body feels overheated in his thick wool costume. He sheds his coat and tosses it aside as sweat starts to drip down his forehead. Sobs begin to wrack through his body before he can stop them and he starts shaking violently, feeling all at once too hot and too cold where the air conditioner licks at his sweat-soaked skin.

Someone knocks at the door. “Niall? What’s going on? We need you back on stage!”

“‘M sick,” he manages to get out. “Throwing up.”

“Shit,” he hears. “Alright.” Footsteps run from the door and he hears shouting but it’s too muffled through the thick door to understand the words.

There’s a flurry of activity and a fuzzy announcement over the PA. They must have called an intermission to switch his understudy in. He feels awful for stopping the whole show, ashamed at his lack of professionalism. If he’d known, he would have stayed home tonight. He sits down on the floor, back pressed against the wall, and shuts his eyes. He fucks up everything he ever touches.

Niall ducks out about fifteen minutes later, once he’s gotten himself under control. He claims food poisoning and tells Simon he’ll stay home tomorrow too, just to make sure he’s well-rested.

The next day and a half are spent just like Monday.

\-----

By Thursday, Niall knows he has no choice but to reenter the world if he wants to keep his job. At least he knows now to mentally prepare himself for Dancing Through Life. He focuses on keeping his breathing even, just starting his mental count, and soon enough, the song is over and the rest of the musical is underway.

He doesn’t return to the bar and his friends though. He can’t bring himself to face everyone just yet. He’s not sure what to say. They don’t know the true depth of what he’s lost. They’ll never know. Except Perrie and he’s not sure he can handle her sympathy right now. It’s hard enough having to deal with Andrew watching his every move. He can’t blame him though, not after how Niall reacted when Bressie left him.

A week later, he gets a voicemail from an unknown number and for a brief, terrifying moment, he thinks it might actually be Harry. He hits play with his heart pounding hard.

“Niall… It’s Eleanor. Louis gave me your number. Hope you don’t mind. Call me. It’s important. You’ll like it. I promise.”

Niall frowns. He’s ignored calls and texts from the group and he wonders if this is a trick to get him to reach out, but he doesn’t think Eleanor knows him well enough to pull something like that on him. Besides, she sounds genuine enough when she says it’s important.

He finds himself pushing the ‘Call’ button before he can change his mind.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Eleanor. It’s Niall.”

“Niall! Hey! Hold on a sec.” There’s some shuffling around and voices chattering before a door opens and shuts and it’s quiet. “Hey! I’m really glad you called.”

“Yeah… what’s up?”

“So you know how I have that friend who works on Kinky Boots?”

“Yeah…”

“And you know how Adam Lambert was maybe going to be Charlie?”

“Yeah…” Niall is trying not to get his hopes up about where this is headed.

“Well… he’s not. He turned it down. Meaning, they’re still looking. And… well… please don’t be mad at Louis.”

Niall frowns slightly. “Why would I be mad at Louis?”

There’s a pause before Eleanor barrels on. “He told me it was your dream role right now and word on the street is, you’re not all that happy in Wicked anymore so we kind of pulled some strings and… you have an audition. Tomorrow morning. Ten a.m.”

Niall’s stunned into silence. He blinks hard, trying to process the words.

“Niall?” he hears, snapping him back to reality.

“I-... El… I don’t know what to say. Thank you. That’s… that’s amazing. Thank you. I’ll be there.”

He can hear the smile in Eleanor’s voice. “Great! I’ll let them know. You’re gonna kill it, Niall, I just know it!”

 

When the call comes telling him he’s got the part, Niall nearly faints. It’s a Monday morning and he’d been in the middle of writing. It’s something he’s picked up lately that he can’t seem to stop. There’s a song stuck in his mind and he knows he needs to get it all out, that he’ll feel better when it’s freed from the confines of his skull.

He’s barely able to stutter out his gratitude and when the call ends, he runs down the hall and bangs on Andrew’s door.

“Andrew!” he shouts. “Andrew, I got it!”

Andrew flings his door open with a ‘whoop’ and scoops Niall into his arms, spinning him around in the hallway until Niall is laughing hysterically.

 

His own final night in Wicked is bittersweet. The show brought him so much, but he’d be lying if he said he was sad to be leaving. Perrie’s gone. Michael’s gone. Harry’s gone. He likes the rest of the cast well enough, but everyone he loves has moved on and it’s time for him to do the same. It’s too different now. It doesn’t hold the same joy that it used to. He looks around him and sees only images of how things used to be and it makes his heart too heavy to bear.

Selena gives him his roses. He supposes it’s the most logical choice visually for the audience. He takes his final bow with Shawn on one side and Selena on the other and forces the smile on his face to remain steady.

Just as the others had done before him, he takes his time with the crowd outside, but it’s with his head held high that he finally manages to leave. There’s no party waiting for him. He’d begged them not to throw him one. He just wants to move on in peace. It feels like too personal of a journey to share with others.

Still, he’s not all that surprised when he arrives home to find Andrew, Louis, Liam, Perrie, and Michael waiting. It’s fitting, he supposes, that it’s just the five of them. They’ve all carried him through one phase of his life or another.

Louis hands him a beer as he sinks down on the couch beside him, propping his feet up on the coffee table.

“I told you not to throw me a party,” he says, though he doesn’t mean it.

“This isn’t a party,” Perrie says.

“It’s an intervention, of sorts,” Liam says.

Niall’s gaze flicks around the group. “A… what?”

“An intervention,” Louis says. “Because you’re a fucking downer literally all the time. You wouldn’t even let us throw you a party for fuck’s sake. There’s _always_ a party.”

Niall frowns. “I’m not much of a party person.”

“Don’t even try to lie your way out of this one, Nialler,” Andrew says. “It’s us. Think about it.”

Niall looks between the faces around him again and Andrew’s right. It’s a room full of the people who know him best. He sighs, setting his beer down and sinking back on the couch again, arms crossed.

“Alright. Hit me. What’s your big intervention?”

“We’ve noticed that you’ve been depressed lately,” Michael says. “And we’re not stupid. We know when it started.”

Niall swallows hard. “Guys… I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. Don’t be an idiot,” Louis says.

Niall scrubs his hands over his face. “You don’t understand.”

“Try us,” Perrie says.

Niall swallows thickly. If he can tell anyone, it’s the people gathered in this room. He’d trust them with his life. Besides, Andrew already knows, so that’s one person down, and Perrie half knows, he supposes.

“Harry was my boyfriend and uh… things didn’t end so well.”

He looks at the group, waiting for their reactions.

“Wait…” Liam says slowly. “You thought we didn’t know?”

“What?” Niall’s brow furrows.

Louis bursts out laughing. “Oh my god. You two practically had hearts shooting from your eyes every time you looked at each other.”

“Wait… You all knew? This whole time? And you didn’t say anything?” Niall stares at them, wide-eyed, feeling just a tad betrayed.

“We were waiting until you were ready to tell us. It wasn’t really our business,” Perrie says.

“Oh my god,” Niall groans, burying his face in his hands.

“You guys left at the same time every single night and you didn’t stop and think that might just be the teeniest bit obvious?” Michael says, which makes Louis start giggling again.

Well, now that they mention it, Niall does feel a bit stupid for not thinking of how that might look. Still, it’s not like it matters. Harry’s gone now and he’d really just like to move on.

“Okay. So the intervention is…?” he prompts.

“This,” Andrew says, producing an envelope from his back pocket and handing it to Niall.

Niall takes it with a frown and opens it. Two pieces of paper fall out and he stares at them, sure there’s no way he’s reading them right. They’re both dated Monday, June 11th. One is a plane ticket to Atlanta and the other is instructions for picking up a meet and greet ticket… for Harry Styles.

“What the fuck are these?” he asks, staring blankly at his friends.

“What the fuck do they look like?” Liam replies.

“No. What the fuck? No. This is ridiculous. I’m not… No.” Niall shakes his head hard. “He left me. He wants nothing to do with me.”

“We thought you might say that,” Andrew says, extracting his phone from his pocket. “Which is why there’s someone else waiting to talk to you. Say hello.” He hands Niall his phone and Niall’s breath catches when he sees Gemma on the screen.

“Gem?” He says. “What… How did you… What’s going on?”

“You’re an idiot, first of all. And before you start, my brother is an idiot too and I’ve made sure he knows it.”

“Gemma, what’s going on? How did you get involved in all this?”

“Your friends found me on Twitter and asked if Harry was making me just as miserable as you’re making them,” she says with a smirk. “When I confirmed that he is, in fact, an absolute wreck, they set this whole plan into motion. We found the first Monday we could with meet and greets left.”

Niall looks to his friends again. “You did all this? You paid for all this? Guys… these tickets… I know how much they cost.”

Louis waves his hand dismissively. “Pay us back when you and Harry open a joint bank account.”

Niall breathes out a laugh that catches slightly in this throat, tears stinging his eyes. He looks back down at Gemma.

“Gem… He left me. Are you sure he even wants me back?”

Gemma rolls her eyes. “Please don’t be more of an idiot than you’ve already been. Just fly off into the sunset and sweep my little brother off his feet for the sake of all humanity.”

Niall sniffles, wiping at his eyes. “Okay,” he says.

“Good. Mum wants me to let you know she’s rooting for you too, by the way. Yes, she was in on it.”

Niall laughs softly. “Of course she was. Tell her I said thanks. And thank you, Gemma. Really.”

“Don’t mention it. Just don’t pull a stunt like that again. Harry’s a drama king and he thinks with his heart more than his head sometimes. Keep that in mind.”

“I will.”

“Alright. Good luck.”

“Thanks.” He hangs up and hands the phone back to Andrew. He stares at the papers in his hands, tears slipping down his cheeks.

“Guys, I really… I don’t know what to say.”

“Save the thanks for after you get your boy back,” Perrie says.

Niall nods and allows her to pull him into her arms.

\-----

The next few weeks are some of the hardest Niall has ever had to get through. His nerves are strung every which way trying to learn his new role while is mind is completely preoccupied with ways to get Harry back. Not to mention the fact that he’s trying to have his song completed by the time he leaves. He wants to be able to play it for Harry. He _needs_ to be able to play it for Harry.

When the day finally arrives, Niall very nearly talks himself out of it. He wakes up already feeling like his body is vibrating with nerves. He can’t help but think he’s flying all this way just to embarrass himself. It’s been over a month since he saw Harry last. They’ve been apart longer than they dated. There’s no way Harry still feels the same. In fact, if it weren’t for the fact that he’d skyped Gemma in a panic the previous night, he probably would have backed out. But hearing that Harry is still depressed breaks his heart and he can’t help but feel a bit of hope.

He sleeps through most of the flight, earbuds shoved in his ears to shut the world off. He doesn’t want to spend the time he’s trapped in a giant metal tube in the sky thinking and overthinking and running back and forth to the bathroom if his nerves get the better of him.

When he arrives at the airport, there’s still over an hour until he has to be at the venue. He doesn’t really have anywhere to go because everyone had been so sure Harry would take him back, that he hadn’t booked a hotel room. He decides he might as well check out the food at the airport. Even though he’s not really all that hungry, it’s about to be a long day and he should get something in his stomach.

Still, even after he sits down with his burger, he can only manage to get a couple bites down. Now that he’s here, in the same city as Harry again, his nerves are firing back up. He tosses everything, barely touched, and wanders the airport until it’s finally time to catch an uber to the venue.

He takes a photo when he arrives and texts it to Andrew.

_Made it. Wish me luck._

The response is almost instant.   _GOOD LUCK!!! You can do this. I believe in you._

_Thanks._

Niall tucks his phone in his pocket and heads up to claim his ticket. He’s not surprised that the line for the door is already nearly wrapped around the venue and is glad that the wristband he gets at Will Call sends him straight to the front with a small group that’s already barricaded apart from the rest. He assumes it’s the remainder of the meet and greet ticket holders.

He eyes the shirts and signs around him, brow furrowed slightly. He’s been to plenty of Harry’s concerts, so it’s nothing new to him, but he certainly has a new perspective on it. The signs range from declarations of love to expressions of gay pride. It startles him when he even sees one that says _NARRY IS REAL_ in glittery rainbow letters. At this point, he can only hope that they’re right. If they only knew.

He stares a second too long because the girl’s eyes flick to him and widen comically. He watches as she elbows her friend, whispering urgently to her and then a ripple runs through their small section of the line. He’s been recognized. He swallows hard and turns his head away but the damage is done. He wonders what social media will say about him randomly turning up in Atlanta. He really hopes they don’t think too much about the fact that he’s got a ticket. He’s not backstage with Harry, where he should be.

Finally, the doors open and security ushers his group inside and far from prying eyes. Niall hadn’t really paid attention to his ticket, so he’s confused when he sees that they’re being herded into the arena, towards the stage. He looks towards the security guard then.

“Erm… What’s happening now?” he asks.

The guard gives him a strange look. “Soundcheck,” she replies.

Niall looks around. They’re about five feet from the stage, full arena lights on. There’s no way Harry won’t be able to spot him. This whole thing could be over before it even begins. He takes a quick scan of the arena and finally looks back at the guard.

“D’ya mind if I watch from up there?” he asks, pointing up towards the seats.

“You won’t be able to participate in the Q&A from up there,” she says. She probably thinks Niall has lost his damn mind at this point.

“That’s fine. I just…” he leans in conspiratorially. “My ex is here and I’d rather not be seen. I don’t want the night to be ruined.”

The guard holds her hands up. “Do whatever you want. It’s your ticket.”

“Great. Thanks!” Niall hurries back up through the aisles. He heads up another level and down the small hallway back into the arena, stopping at the end where he can stay tucked in the tiny pocket of shadows. He leans against the wall, heart thudding in his chest. He’s about to see Harry again. It feels kind of creepy when he realizes Harry won’t know he’s there, but he can’t resist sticking around to watch. Now that he’s here, he just needs to see him.

When Harry finally appears, the girls scream, loud and high-pitched and Niall’s suddenly got another reason to be grateful for his distance from everything.

Harry looks amazing. He’s grinning broadly, at the moment, clad in a flowy black button up with the first few buttons tantalizingly undone, blue jeans clinging to his skinny legs. He launches straight into Sign of the Times. Niall shuts his eyes and lets the gravelly sound of Harry’s voice wash over him.

After a couple songs, Harry finally takes questions and Niall opens his eyes to watch.

“What’s your favorite song off the album?” one girl asks and Niall can’t help but think it’s such a dull question.

“From the Dining Table,” Harry says. “It’s the most personal one for me.” He points to another girl. “Yes?”

“First of all, I saw you in Wicked and you were amazing,” the girl starts.

Harry’s smile seems to falter, but he still says, “Thank you, love. What’s your question?”

“Do you keep in touch with any of the cast?”

Giggles and whispers filter through some of the girls.

Harry breathes out a laugh. “Yeah. I have a few of them on Twitter and we’ll message each other occasionally. A couple reached out recently to wish me luck on tour. Little messages here or there.”

Niall wonders who he could be talking about, or if he’s making it up just to make the fans happy. He can’t help the spike of jealousy that runs through him when he thinks of the possibility of Harry still talking to Taylor. He wonders if Taylor is still trying to flirt with him.

Harry takes a few more questions before waving and heading backstage. Security separates the meet and greet fans from the ones who just held soundcheck tickets and starts ushering them in different directions. Niall jogs down to join his group.

He wrings his hands together and starts counting. He can feel his body heating up and he focuses on his breathing. He can’t risk making himself sick now. Too much is riding on this moment.

Unfortunately, he’s near the back of the line, so he pulls out his phone to distract himself, purposefully avoiding Twitter, lest he see mentions of his presence here. He doesn’t want to know what they’re saying. He checks a few sports pages and idly scrolls Facebook, scooting up in line little by little.

Before he knows it, he’s next. He can just hear Harry’s voice, though he can’t make out the words, hears his bark of laughter at something the fan must have said.

And then… then he’s being ushered into the room. Harry has a wide smile on his face that Niall is sure is supposed to be welcoming. It takes him a moment to actually register that it is Niall that has entered and Niall sees the emotions flash across his face. The smile fades away, his eyes going wide in shock. Niall watches him swallow hard, seeming to compose himself, as his lips slip into a frown, eyes narrowing.

“What are you doing here?” Harry hisses.

Niall steps further into the room, keeping his voice quiet. “I came to see you.”

Harry scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Ah yes. I remember. Such a big fan, aren’t you?”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it, Harry. Please don’t do this.”

“Why here? Why now?” Harry presses and Niall has to fight to stay calm. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but this is his only chance. He has to remind himself, has to believe, that Harry’s only lashing out because he’s hurt. He chooses to take this as a good sign. He could be completely indifferent. That would be far worse, Niall thinks.

“It’s a long story. I just… I had to find some way to see you and this was it. I miss you. I’m sorry I was such an idiot.”

Harry shifts on his feet, crossing his arms over his chest. His jaw is clenched and Niall’s heart aches when he hears him sniffle softly. He’s clearly trying to suppress whatever he’s feeling at the moment.

“You can’t just do this. You can’t just reappear in my life like this and expect… what, exactly? What are you expecting?”

“Nothing. I don’t know.” Niall scrubs a hand over his face. “Fuck, Harry…” Niall takes a second to compose himself before he opens his mouth to speak, but a security guard stops him. Niall had nearly forgotten they weren’t alone.

“Time’s up. We need you to take the picture and move along.”

Niall swallows, nearly giving in, giving up, when Harry speaks.

“Excuse us for a second, please,” he says, grabbing Niall by the arm and leading him towards a door on the opposite side of the room from the one Niall had entered. Niall just follows, stunned.

Harry opens it and sort of pushes Niall out into the hallway. “Wait here,” is all he says before shutting the door and leaving Niall alone.

Niall nearly collapses against the wall, leaning heavily on it for support. Harry didn’t throw him out. Harry’s making him wait for him. There’s a chance. There’s hope. He’s really fucking here with Harry and there’s hope.

It feels like it takes ages before Harry finally reappears. He just sort of gazes at Niall for a long moment, then motions for him to follow as he heads down the hallway.

Niall stays quiet, trying to collect his thoughts as they walk. He can’t fuck this up. He can’t. He knows this is his only shot. He either wins Harry back or it’s over. For good.

Harry opens the door to his dressing room and Niall follows after. When Harry shuts the door behind him, Niall finally breathes deeply and meets his gaze.

“Harry…” he starts.

Harry shakes his head. “Sit. I can’t do this like… this,” he says, motioning between them.

Niall nods and moves to sit on the couch, trying not to let it sting when Harry sits at the far end from him.

“Why are you here?” Harry asks again.

“Do you really not know? Really?”

Harry shrugs, a bit dramatically, if Niall is being quite honest, but he lets it slide.

“Harry, I can’t even imagine what you must think of me right now. I fucked up and I know that. I have spent far too long beating myself up over it to not be well aware of it, but I can promise you that everything you think of me, of us… it’s not like that. Was I in awe of you when I first met you? Yeah. How could I not be? I’d kept track of your career since you first stepped onto that X Factor stage. You were my celebrity crush for an embarrassing number of years. It’s hard to just switch that off. I was even still a bit in awe the first time we fooled around. It shocked the hell out of me that you actually wanted me.” Harry’s expression has hardened and Niall swallows thickly, forcing himself to keep going. “But I promise you, I knew who I was sharing a bed with. You weren’t just Harry Styles, fantasy come true. You were Harry, the complete fucking idiot who vandalizes cardboard cutouts of himself and thinks dad jokes and dogs wearing hats are hilarious, the man who wears his heart on his sleeve enough to blow up my phone with worry when I dropped off the face of the earth after the article came out.” Niall can feel himself tearing up, can tell Harry is still wary, and he starts to fear he’s not getting through to him. “I will tell you everything you want to know about me. Every little detail of why I am the way I am and why I pushed you away so easily. Because… fuck… Harry… how could you not know? I love you. I love you so fucking much it hurts.”

He sees the tears start to form in Harry’s eyes, feels the tears start to slide down his own cheeks. Harry chokes on a sob, face falling into his palm as he starts to cry and Niall can’t stand the distance between them, doesn’t know if he has the right to close it.

“Harry, please say something,” he whispers.

At first, Niall doesn’t think he’s going to get an answer as Harry just cries and Niall’s heart rips itself apart in his chest. Still, he waits. He’s said everything he can say for the time being. It’s Harry’s turn.

Finally, Harry’s hand falls from his face, eyes red-rimmed, tears still falling steadily.

“I want to believe you, but how can I? How am I supposed to know what’s real?”

“Do you really think I would have flown all this way after all this time if I didn’t love you? If I wasn’t sure of this? Christ, Harry, do you know how much your meet and greet tickets cost? Plus the flight?” Niall’s voice catches in his throat and he has to stop for a second, taking a shuddering breath and wiping at his eyes. “I’d almost prefer if you weren’t famous. How could you ever think I want you for your fame? I fucked up that interview. I’m not cut out for this life. But I will bear it for you. I will get better at it for you, even though it scares the hell out of me, because the thought of you never being in my life again scares me more.”

There’s a long pause, then Harry’s practically launching himself across the gap between them, hugging Niall so tightly it hurts. Niall wraps his arms around him, clinging to him, burying his face in his neck as he lets his tears flow freely again. He can hear Harry sniffling and he wishes more than anything that he could take away all the pain he’s caused him.

For a long while, they just cling to each other in silence. Niall’s scarcely able to believe his arms are filled with Harry again, the warmth and weight of him still so familiar and so right against him.

It’s Harry who pulls back first, running a hand through his hair. “I-I have to start getting ready for the show soon. He glances at the time on his phone. “Kacey’s about to be on.” He looks to Niall again. “I can get you a spot by the stage… if you want to stick around and watch.”

Niall nods. “I’d like that.”

Harry nods and texts someone on his phone before tucking it back in his pocket. He breathes in deeply and meets Niall’s gaze.

“We’ll talk more after. I’ll text you the address for the hotel and my room number. We probably shouldn’t be seen leaving together.” He chews on his lip. “I haven’t forgiven you yet, but I’m willing to keep listening if you’re willing to keep talking.”

“Of course, Haz,” Niall says quietly. “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”

Harry nods. He rubs at his eyes, then stands with a sigh, Niall rising with him. “I’ve texted my security team. If you head out, they’ll show you where you can stand.”

“Okay.”

They gaze at each other in silence. Niall wants to hug him again, but he’s not sure he has the right to at the moment. He’s not entirely sure where things stand between them.

He finally just nods a bit and leaves the room. A member of Harry’s security team is already waiting for him, leading him down a couple of hallways until they come out directly behind the stage. The lights are still on in the arena and Niall tries not to think about the fact that he could be recognized. Then again, he’s already been spotted in line. It won’t make much of a difference if he’s seen again. At least now, things are on their way back to being as they should be. He’s here as Harry’s… whatever the hell they even are, but at least he’s no longer just a face in the crowd. He’s here for Harry and that’s clear.

 

As promised, he receives a text after the show with an address and a room number. It takes him a bit to manage to get an uber. They must be flooded with requests from people leaving the venue. Still, one finally arrives and Niall’s soon standing in front of a hotel whose rooms may just cost more than his monthly rent.

He forces himself to enter, trying not to feel out of place in his jeans and t-shirt. He bypasses the front desk and heads for the lifts, deciding it’s best to just pretend he belongs. He’s thankful that no one stops him, though he can feel their gazes trying to bore holes in his back.

When he arrives at Harry’s floor, he finds his room, taking a deep breath before knocking. The door opens and there’s Harry, wearing the same outfit he was wearing before the concert, looking freshly showered. He steps back and Niall enters, trying not to appear too in awe of the elegant suite. He takes a seat on the couch and Harry sinks down beside him. Niall’s heart flutters hopefully at the fact that he doesn’t leave quite so big of a gap between them this time.

“You were amazing out there,” Niall says. “You always are.”

“Thanks.” Harry shifts, tucking a leg under him so he can turn his body towards Niall more, eyeing him carefully. “You said you had more to tell me,” he prompts.

Niall sighs and nods. He’s not really sure where to start, which might be the safest place to start. He forces himself to meet Harry’s gaze.

“What I’m about to tell you… I’ve never actually had to tell anyone before. Andrew is the only person who knows and it’s because he was there through all of it but I’ve never… I’ve never had to explain it.”

Harry’s brow furrows but he nods, so Niall pushes through the tightening in his chest to speak.

“There’s a reason I don’t talk about LAMDA… or London… or anything specific from that time in my life. I know I told you I had a professor there who convinced me I was a natural, but the part I left out was… we were sleeping together.” Niall watches Harry’s reaction carefully, taking in the slight widening of his eyes. “It started in my third year. I’d had a bit of a crush on him, but I didn’t think he’d noticed. Then, he called me into his office one day to discuss a paper and next thing I knew, we were going at it right there on his desk. It became a thing. We had to keep it quiet of course. He would have lost his job in an instant if anyone found out. I was mad for him though. He pushed me harder, refused to hand me roles just because we were fucking. In fact, I think he sometimes denied me roles because we were fucking, out of fear of favoritism. But I worked that much harder to prove I deserved it and one day, it paid off and I landed the lead role in Rock of Ages and life was… well, it was perfect.

“Then, about a month before graduation, I decided to ask him what came next, what the future held for us. He sort of stared at me. I can still see the look on his face. I might as well have sprouted a second head. He acted like he had no idea what I was talking about, like I was an idiot for even asking because _obviously_ we couldn’t be together. _Obviously_ continuing past graduation would end his career. And like the idiot that I was, I opened my big mouth and told him I loved him. He threw me out. Told me he hadn’t realized I was taking it so seriously, that it was just a fling and it was over.” Niall breathes shakily as the memories come rushing back, Bressie’s look of disgust as he slammed the door in Niall’s face, while Niall could do nothing but sob and watch his world fall apart, paralyzed in shock on his doorstep.

He feels Harry’s hand squeeze his where it rests on the couch between them and he swallows, turning his hand over to twine their fingers together before forcing himself to continue.

“My world ended that day. Everything I’d built for myself was gone, just like that. I didn’t tell you the real reason I ended up in New York. Bressie… he had a lot of connections on the West End. Knew everyone who was anyone. I swear he’d gone to school with half of them and personally taught the other half. I knew there was absolutely no way I’d be able to make it there and even if I could… I’d see him everywhere. At opening nights and parties and even just the pubs the theater crowd often frequented. My career was over before it even began.” Tears start to form in his eyes and he sniffles, trying to fight them back. Everything is rushing back at him now, all the pain, the heartache, the complete and total emptiness he’d felt.

“I-I went home and downed a bottle of pills,” he chokes out before breaking into sobs. In an instant, Harry has him in his arms and Niall pushes forward. He has to finish so it can be done and out and he never has to speak of it again. “Andrew found me. I had my stomach pumped, spent a few days in hospital until they were sure I wouldn’t do anything rash again. It was Andrew’s idea to move to New York. Start fresh. He convinced me that I still deserved to live my dreams, that Bressie had no say in my worth. Andrew didn’t even think twice about following me. We packed up all our stuff after graduation, sold as much of it as we could, donated more, and fled England with a couple bags each. I owe him everything.” Niall takes a moment to inhale deeply and compose himself enough to get the last bit out. “I get why you had to hide our relationship. The rational part of me understands completely, but during that interview and… our fight… hearing you deny it, I felt like it was happening all over again. I closed myself off and I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It’s okay,” Harry whispers, and Niall can tell he’s crying from how thick his voice sounds. “I forgive you. I’m sorry I ever did anything to make you think I wanted to hide you. Niall…” he inhales sharply, nuzzling Niall’s neck. “I love you too.”

Niall lets his sobs overtake him, so relieved to finally hear Harry say the words he was so desperate for. His fists clench in Harry’s shirt, tears soaking the fabric at Harry’s shoulder.

“I’ve got you,” Harry whispers, hands moving slowly over Niall’s back. “I love you. It’ll be okay.”

Niall’s not sure how long he cries for, but Harry holds him through it all. When he finally feels like he has no tears left, they make their way to bed, stripping down to their briefs before climbing in and curling up together.

Niall feels completely and utterly spent and he falls asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow.

 

In the morning, Niall wakes up to a pounding headache and arms full of Harry. He sighs and nuzzles into Harry’s hair, feeling Harry shift and tighten his arms around Niall’s waist.

“You awake?” Niall asks.

“Mm,” Harry hums. He feels Harry press a soft kiss to his neck. “What time is it?”

“Just after nine.”

Harry groans softly. “Check out’s at eleven.” He yawns but still doesn’t unwrap himself from Niall. “How are you feeling?”

“Aside from the headache, life’s pretty good at the moment,” Niall says, breathing out a laugh. “How bout you?’

Harry finally lifts his head, green eyes soft as he smiles. “Life’s pretty good,” he says.

Niall grins and kisses him, feeling Harry sink into it, his hands running over Harry’s back. Harry lets out a soft moan, a shiver running through him, and Niall can feel his blood rushing south. He pulls Harry impossibly closer, falling back easily when Harry presses his shoulders towards the bed and shifts on top of him.

Harry breaks the kiss to gaze down at him, a stray curl falling across his forehead. Niall swallows hard, brushing his fingers over Harry’s cheek.

“I love you,” he says, because he needs to say it again, needs Harry to hear it again.

“I love you too,” Harry replies before leaning down to capture his lips.

Niall slides his hands down, shoving at Harry’s briefs. Harry kicks them off and tugs at Niall’s and then it’s just skin on skin, Harry warm and soft and everywhere.

Niall manages to get a hand around Harry’s cock, groaning when Harry wraps a hand around him as well. They find a rhythm, rutting into each other, and it’s pure and raw and desperate. When Harry twists his hand just right, Niall spills out between them and it’s not long before Harry’s adding to the mess and collapsing on top of him.

Niall listens to the heavy sound of their breathing, their chests moving in sync, and wonders if their hearts are beating the same rhythm too.

When they finally manage to move, it’s only to stumble to the shower where they’re nearly too preoccupied with kissing to actually get clean.

As they’re getting dressed in the bedroom, Niall spies Harry’s guitar and suddenly remembers the other thing he needed to do.

“Can I borrow that?” he asks.

Harry’s brow furrows as he tugs on his shirt. “Sure,” he says.

Niall slings the strap over his head and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. He tunes the guitar carefully and plucks at a couple strings before looking up at Harry.

“After you left, I was sort of plagued with this song. I just… I had to get it out. It’s called Flicker and I wrote it for you.” Niall swallows and starts singing, his eyes falling shut.

_When you feel your love's been taken_

_When you know there's something missing…_

 

He sighs as he finishes and finally opens his eyes. Harry is standing frozen in the middle of the room, tears shining in his eyes. Niall takes the guitar off and sets it aside, waiting, not really sure what to think of his reaction.

“You wrote that for me?”

“Yeah.”

“Niall…”

He suddenly finds himself with a lap full of Harry, his long arms and legs wrapped around him. Niall holds him tightly, face buried in his neck.

“It was beautiful,” Harry says. “I love it… and I love you.”

“I love you too,” Niall says, enjoying the way his heart flutters at the words.

 

They go to the airport together, even though Niall’s flight is a couple hours after Harry’s. With Harry’s name, he manages to get Niall into the first class lounge and they find two cushy armchairs beside each other.

“So, I’ll be in New York on the 20th,” Harry says. “Eight days and then I’ve got two shows and I don’t have to be in DC until the 24th.”

Niall nods. “I’ll see if I can take off for one of them, but I’m not sure I can.” He chews on his lip. “You can stay with me though… if you want.”

Harry grins. “I’d like that.” His brow furrows then. “Why didn’t you just wait until New York? Why come all the way here?”

Niall blushes slightly. “New York meet and greets were sold out and I needed a Monday show anyway so I wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not I could make it.” He realizes, then, that he hasn’t told Harry anything about what he’s been up to. “I… uh… sort of left Wicked. Only just started a new show.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah… uhm… Kinky Boots.”

Harry’s smile is absolutely blinding then. “Charlie?!”

Niall can’t help the proud grin. “Yeah,” he says. “Louis and Eleanor worked some sort of Broadway magic and got me an audition.”

Harry chuckles. “What happened to Adam Lambert?”

“Wanted too much money, from what I hear. But… well… apparently for Broadway, my name carries a bit of weight now, since I was associated with you and all.” He blushes a bit. “They’re pleased with the spike in sales since I signed on.”

“Niall! That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you!” Harry reaches out and gently squeezes his arm, though the softness of his smile tells Niall if they weren’t in public, he’d be doing so much more.

“Thanks,” Niall says, swallowing hard.

“Hold on…” Harry pulls out his phone and fiddles with it for a bit before beaming at Niall. “Next Saturday, I’ll be there. Front row center.”

Niall blushes deeply but grins, feeling a sense of calm washing over him. Whatever the future holds for them he’s finally ready to face it.

\-----

 

**Epilogue**

 

Harry had chosen Ellen for this moment on purpose. If ever there was a receptive audience and a receptive host, this would be the place.

He’s nervous. It’s a huge step for him and one he never thought he’d make so soon. The audience has had to sign a waiver to even be here. They can’t breathe a word until the episode airs tomorrow.

“Hey,” Niall says from where he’s seated on the couch. “You okay?”

Harry stops fiddling with the buttons on his shirt and sighs heavily. Without a word, Niall stands and moves to him, arms slipping around his waist.

“Relax, love,” he says, pressing a kiss to his lips. “You’ll be fine.”

Harry nods and slides his arms around Niall, laying his head on his shoulder. He can’t believe they’ve been together almost a year now. Time’s flown. Harry’s put out another album and is about to kick off another tour. Niall’s still in Kinky Boots, though he’s started jotting down ideas for his own show and Harry couldn’t be more proud. They’ve even recently signed a lease together for an apartment on the Upper West Side. Life couldn’t be more perfect… save the one tiny detail Harry’s about to fix.

There’s a knock at the door and someone yells, “Five minutes!”

“Thank you!” Harry calls back. He swallows hard and clings tighter to Niall.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Niall says quietly and Harry is endlessly amazed by how selfless Niall really is. Ever since they got back together, Niall’s worn his heart on his sleeve with Harry, open and affectionate. Harry can’t believe his luck.

“Yes, I do,” Harry says, pressing a kiss to his neck.

 

“So, Harry…”

“So, Ellen…” Harry says coyly, earning a soft chuckle from Ellen and a few titters of laughs from the audience.

“I know how much you love to visit me, but that’s not the reason you’re here today, is it?” she says.

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” Harry jokes. “I can be here for multiple reasons.”

Ellen laughs. “Fair enough.”

“But you’re right… I’ve got a bit of an announcement.” He can hear some whispers through the audience, but he can’t make himself look over there just yet.

“It’s something very near and dear to your heart, correct?”

“It is, yes. I’ve… uhm… said things about it before, but never really fully addressed it because I never had a reason.”

Ellen’s smile turns soft. “But you have one now.”

“Yeah,” Harry can’t help his own smile turning fond, the blush creeping over his cheeks. “A pretty great reason, actually.”

“Does that reason maybe look like this?”

A picture flashes on screen of Niall in Kinky Boots, bright red leather boots and all. Harry laughs, covering his face with his hands as his cheeks turn the color of the boots. The audience screams.

“Oh my god,” he says.

“What about this?” Ellen continues and he can hear the laugh in her voice.

He peeks at the screen through his fingers and now it’s a picture of Niall on the red carpet from the Tonys less than a week ago, clad in a blue checked suit that makes his eyes shine brighter. The audience goes wild again.

Harry feels a tug at his heart at the thought of the man waiting for him backstage. He can’t wait to be in his arms again. He never thought he could love one person so much. He finally drops his hands to continue.

“That… is exactly what the reason looks like,” he says, breathing out a laugh. He meets Ellen’s gaze then, gaining strength. He’s doing this for Niall. All he needed was the reminder.

“I’ve never really felt it necessary to define my sexuality. Still don’t,” he says with a shrug. “But… Niall’s my boyfriend and my best friend and I couldn’t be happier right now.”

Cheers erupt from the audience and Harry finally looks over, a bit stunned. He supposes it’s not really that big of a deal to come out in this day and age, but he’d been so terrified. And now it’s done. It’s out there and people are cheering for him and he’s free to love Niall without restraint.

 

Later, as they’re leaving the studio, stepping out into the bright LA sun, Harry reaches over and takes Niall’s hand. The smile he receives in response is blinding. No more hiding. Not now. Not ever again.


End file.
